‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

Funny how men manage to overcome their disadvantage and get promoted faster than women......

Funny how men manage to overcome their disadvantage and get promoted faster than women......

This definitely, it's so true.

Also true.

@BertrandRussell

Proof?

Assuming that this is true, maybe they spend less time complaining about imagined prejudice and simply crack on with the job.

Maybe those typical male traits of confidence and assertiveness stand them in good stead. Maybe they don't choose to take extended leave at critical times in their careers.

@starlightafar

" in Nursing, the majority are female. But the majority of complaints are about men"

Untrue.

7Even looks like you are wasting time defending against imagined unjust accusations then! Crack on old chap, while all those weak, dithering wifeys take extended leave at a critical time in their career to care for socialise, and educate their babies.

Not nursing, but I worked in a restaurant for three years and watched as any middle aged man who deigned to grace us with his presence very quickly became a key holder/supervisor/assistant manager/manager regardless of skillset. Being a young woman I didn't become any of these things, none of us did, however we were required to step in often and help these quickly promoted men with aspects of their job they had no clue about. At least two were downright incompetent, and more interested in chatting up the teenage weekend staff than doing anything else. And both left to go onto other management roles, probably impressing interviewers with how they'd been promoted at light speed at our place...

@7Even
It is true
Are you a man? As maternity leave and needing to stay at home to care for children while the husband works isn't 'extended leave'. The Athena Swan award is to reward institutions with their efforts to support women/mothers in the workplace.
Taking time off to raise a family isn't a choice, if it were men needing to do the majority of childcare at critical times in their career then I can guarantee that they would not lose out on pay and career progression.
Women are less important according to most workplaces.

"Are you a man?"

No but I do enjoy the irony of the subtle misandry on this thread from you and @midsummabreak.

I'll give you a tip that might stand you in good stead. Not everyone who disagrees with you is a man.

HTH

"Taking time off to raise a family isn't a choice"

Yes it is, unless you've been raped although I don't think that's what you're talking about.

" if it were men needing to do the majority of childcare at critical times in their career then I can guarantee that they would not lose out on pay and career progression."

No you can't. You can 'guess' at best but I think you'd be wrong.

My DH thinks that 2 years paternity leave put him back 5 years in his career and he doesn't begrudge it whatsoever. It was his choice.

“I'll give you a tip that might stand you in good stead. Not everyone who disagrees with you is a man“l

Obviously not. But people who say stuff like

• “Assuming that this is true, maybe they spend less time complaining about imagined prejudice and simply crack on with the job.

Maybe those typical male traits of confidence and assertiveness stand them in good stead”- often are, so it’s worth checking.

"Often are so it’s worth checking"

Are they? Really?

If what you say is true about one sex having different opinions to the other, why do you need to know the gender of the person? For a value judgement on their opinion?

The last time I heard someone talking about "male traits of confidence and assertiveness" she was on the news complaining about a difference in pay and saying that men were better at negotiating and "it wasn't fair".

Also, as I'm sure you're well aware, 'she' all too frequently becomes 'he' etc and phrases like "old chap" are used in PA misandry on MN.

My colleagues have a word for men that like to sleep around/sniff around married women etc, whore-meisters. Only I'm in N.I. so it sounds like huuur meisters.

I think the only thing you can do to make you truly a slut or slag, is to date or sleep with men you know are already in a relationship. That's low. Anything else is no one's business and doesn't warrant name calling.

Hahaha @7even
Of course.
Ok then
Are you a nurse? Or just unable to see black and white, as 'true' or 'untrue'.
Check the NMC website and there are many more complaints regarding boundary crossing towards men.
I'll give you a tip which will stand you instead:
Women are, by a huge percentage, the ones within a partnership who sacrifice their careers for children. Not men. Obviously some like your DP do. Must most of the time, it is women.
This is a social expectation, a gender role expectation and often, given that men's wages trump women's even at the same pay grade, not a choice at all.
Having a child is a choice. Women having to be the ones to look after them while men progress through those years is not. For many women.
You are referring to rape to support your judgement. Many women are raped in marriage, or abused. Some are simply intimidated or brought up to expect it.
So actually, no, there isn't really a choice, if you are expected to abide by social rules which underpin the workplace, education system, and marriage.
HTH

"My colleagues have a word for men that like to sleep around/sniff around married women etc, whore-meisters. Only I'm in N.I. so it sounds like huuur meisters."

So the Women that they chase are Whores, because they are female and the Men, Masters of all the Women/Whores?

That's a loaded and reductionist label. It says a lot that, that isn't objected to. Don't the married Men (let alone the Women) object to the possibility that someone could be calling their Spouse a Whore?

Women aren't the gatekeepers of sex, those that choose their own sex lives and often conduct themselves better than Men shouldn't be given these outdated insulting labels.

The term 'Slut' was used on Classic Coronation Street, much to my Adult DDs horror. It was used by Hilda Ogden and Bet Lynch to describe housekeeping skills.

"Check the NMC website and there are many more complaints regarding boundary crossing towards men"

I worked in Healthcare, there was a lot more boundary crossing by Men. In fact many of them shouldn't have been anywhere near vulnerable Women.

So the complaints could reflect that most inappropriate/sexual/creepy behavior is perpetrated by Men.

This is typical of threads concerning the treatment of women. There are always posters who come along and say, 'Men go through it too.' It's just so predictable.

But men are NOT judged for their sexual behaviour, they're really not at all.

I don't really see how the actions of others are a reflection on oneself really. It's just altogether a very weird position to take. In your place I would just have age appropriate conversations with your son's about why grandma is wrong. See it as a learning opportunity for them.

I’m suprised at the self proclaimed feminists on this thread who describe other women as “ bitter” because “ their looks are fading “ and “ their best years are behind them “ .

Can’t you see a problem with this ?

Or those who get upset when others call them “ slags “ but then call women “ bints “ and “ cunts “ .

“I’m suprised at the self proclaimed feminists on this thread who describe other women as “ bitter” because “ their looks are fading “ and “ their best years are behind them “ “

Name names!

Calling other women slags is doing the patriarchy's job for it.

This cannot be repeated enough.

It is vile to call someone a slag.
When I was younger the term slag was hurled at a girl/woman to put her down and make her stfu.
It implied you had sex.
Males were not called slags as it was fine for males to have sex.
If you really wanted to insult and degrade someone then the word whore would be used. That implied they were a prostitute and had sex with men for money.
Women were also called bags and that meant the same.
All vile language.
Women are now called mumsy, frumpy and a lesbian if they don't dress in a sexy manner.
You can't win.

OP maybe your mother and others on this thread need to watch this Tracey Ullman sketch and understand what it is about

I have passed comment on what men and women are wearing eg. "too cold for today" "not ideal for a D of E hike" or my worst "probably not great to wear a throng a mini skirt when lifting boxes out of a van on a hill". The last my DD thought was inappropriate although I was mainly complaining that I saw far more than I wanted to as I drove home. So I'm not perfect, but...

Since you asked Bertrand

user1490607838 Sun 25-Feb-18 23:50:30

Women who call other women 'slags' for wearing short skirts and low cut tops and having bleached blonde hair and heavy-ish make up, are nasty, bitter, jealous bints, and are screaming 'what I wouldn't give to look like that, and get away with dressing like that.' It is ALWAYS women who were at the back of the queue when God was giving out beauty and good looks, who make snide and repugnant comments about other women who look good ...........I even had a bitchy cunt of a female manager TELLING me to dress more appropriately once

I am still mostly correct about this though. Your mother was jealous of you being youthful and having all your best years ahead of you, because her 'good looks' were fading, and her best years behind her

Declaring that youth is better than maturity or that your “ best years “ are related to your youth is hardly a feminist concept.

Men are allowed to have views based on logic and principles whereas women are all just screaming jealous cunts who can’t get a man .

Nice .

S0phia -did that poster call herself a feminist?

I would not want to have anyone in my life who thinks "slags" is an acceptable word to describe a woman or a woman's appearance

This^^

It's a term to demean women.

I think that is a bit of a point about looks fading. My mother is obsessed with anti-ageing products to the point where she showers me with them (despite normally being quite tight fisted) because she doesn’t want an old looking daughter.

BUT

Perhaps rather than damning women for feeling like that we should be damning society for making women feel they lose their value with age.

She had an extremely campaigning job in the 80s and the campaign was ultimately successful and she has loads of interests and is educated which make her a very interesting person and her grandchildren love her very much and she has a long marriage.

It’s a shame some women feel loss of their youth so deeply when so much about them is more valuable.