‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

User I totally agree with you. Women who judge other women as dressing too provocatively, are doing so as a result of feeling inferior in the competition for male attention. Yet they call themselves feminists.
I've been called slutty for wearing a leather jacket, high heeled boots, and even once for wearing a knee length dress. Apparently my hair is also a problem for those women.

There have always been people who are allegedly progressive in their political views whose main motivation is finding other people to disapprove of and condemn for their personal behaviours. There are self-righteous puritans everywhere, including, sadly, among feminists.

Your mum is wrong, OP. Women should be able to choose what they wear, and how much attention they pay to their appearance, and it not be anyone else's business.

User I totally agree with you. Women who judge other women as dressing too provocatively, are doing so as a result of feeling inferior in the competition for male attention. Yet they call themselves feminists.

100% with you @rightknockered

I find it hilarious when women slag off and berate other women who are more attractive than them, and think it makes them 'feminists.' If they truly WERE feminists; they would be celebrating and cheering on women who are very attractive, and are proud of their looks, and have the confidence to show off their bodies; not bloody berating them, making vitriolic remarks, and calling them slags. Nasty cunts.

No, no, no, no. My mother looked absolutely amazing. Very god looking. But she resented me for becoming a teenager when she was moving into her middle age.

So User was right then.

Google Slut Shaming.
That's what your mother and some of the PPs above are doing.

Slut Shaming is a tool used by society to control women and to restrict women's freedom over their own sexuality and sexual choices.

Nasty cunts.

You forgot to call them jealous.

*No, no, no, no. My mother looked absolutely amazing. Very god looking. But she resented me for becoming a teenager when she was moving into her middle age.

I am still mostly correct about this though. Your mother was jealous of you being youthful and having all your best years ahead of you, because her 'good looks' were fading, and her best years behind her.*

I dare say many mothers of teenage daughters feel like this occasionally but they keep their feelings to themselves.

It is slut shaming. How old is your DM?

I suppose at times you just have to let things wash over you because if you fight every battle you won't have the energy left for anything conducive.

I'm a bit hmm sometimes about women dressing provocatively. It can come over as a bit desperate for male attention, dressing to please men etc.

I would never call someone who dressed like this a slag though. I've no issue with women sleeping with lots of people anyway.

@jaygee61 I dare say many mothers of teenage daughters feel like this occasionally but they keep their feelings to themselves.

I honestly seriously doubt that very much.

Most normal mums of teenage daughters are not jealous of their daughter(s).

@tinklylittlelaugh

I'm a bit sometimes about women dressing provocatively. It can come over as a bit desperate for male attention, dressing to please men etc.

Oh for fuck's sake, when is this ludicrous bollocks going to stop?! What are you, a fucking Neanderthal?!

I mean, God FORBID a woman dresses in a sexy and provocative manner (showing her legs and a bit of cleavage,) because she WANTS TO, and she likes how she looks.

I fucking despair of humanity sometimes when people come up with bollocks like this!

NOT ALL WOMEN DRESS TO PLEASE MEN!

Jesus fucking Christ!

No some women dress provocatively to show off to other women, to make them jealous.

Can we clarify what 'provocatively' means when it comes to dress choice?

Does it mean 'provoking' men into becoming sexually aroused?

Or does it mean as Jaygee61 suggests, 'provoking' other women into becoming jealous?

Either way, how is that the responsibility of the person wearing the 'provocative' clothing?

Doesn't sound much like grown adults taking responsibility for their own reactions, does it?

If she's into theories and labels, then would a book on sex positive feminism help? My mum loves a good theoretical book. Her parenting ideas completely shifted my way by provision of suitable reading material - she must infuriate some of her friends, she's so evangelical about it now.

Might be worth a try? She won't hear it from you, but perhaps a Proper Theory Book would be more worth absorbing.

No some women dress provocatively to show off to other women, to make them jealous

And many women dress the way they please cos they feel good about themselves and don't give a flying fuck what other women think about them?
Why is it only women who are accused of having a hidden agenda when it comes to dressing the way they do?

Quite a few jealous bints on this thread actually. So insecure that they assume women who look great are doing it to make other women jealous or to please men. Not a chance they are looking good to please THEMSELVES?!

You couldn't make this fucking shit up!

Jaygee do you honestly think women traipse around the shops, searching out clothing, trying it on, buying it, wearing it just to make other women jealous?

Rather than buying and wearing those clothes because they really like them?

I just find that a bizarre idea.

Your mother is a disgrace, I would go NC.

It is ALWAYS women who were at the back of the queue when God was giving out beauty and good looks, who make snide and repugnant comments about other women who look good.

Sadly, I've known some beautiful women do it. Internalised misogyny can affect anyone. That's one of the most depressing things about it; it's pernicious.

If she's a lefty type, ask her to think carefully about the word slag. It has associations with the waste of coal mining. The waste that overflowed Aberfan. Is that what she thinks of you? It's a horrible world.

It’s true that women want to impress one another. Women subject each other’s bodies and appearance to far more critical scrutiny than men do women.

these 'slags' don't shag themselves it killed me
But it is very true.

It’s true that women want to impress one another. Women subject each other’s bodies and appearance to far more critical scrutiny than men do women.

Women are not clones. Speak for yourself; do not speak for me, or all other women, thanks.