‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

Sigh. Ok.

I think that generally speaking many women want to impress other women. They tend to scrutinise other women far more closely than men scrutinise women.

I don’t think that’s “speaking for all women’ any more than some of the other comments on this thread.

And I think that either you are completely wrong, or you know a lot of really unpleasant women. Because that simply hasn't been my experience. At all.

Oh, and when you assert your position, adding an, "It's true" as an absolute at the start, then yep. You are saying you speak in absolutes, and the truth. That's what those words mean.

The passive aggressive sigh when challenged on that linguistic abuse is trying, frankly.

And I think that either you are completely wrong, or you know a lot of really unpleasant women. Because that simply hasn't been my experience. At all.

Who do you think buys those magazines with pictures of celeb cellulite and celebs whose diets have failed? Because they do sell.

From the OP: What does this actually mean?

But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

And I was asserting something I believed to be true which is what most people are doing on this thread, It was my opinion and I apologise for not putting “ I think” before “It’s true” which was clumsy of me,

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to some women as slags.

My Mum and I have certainly always done this, as have my friends. Some women do look like, and/or act like slags.

Gosh, don't you and your mother both sound charming. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, clearly.

I imagine you and your mother would be the sort of women I'd give a wide berth to, in real life.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to some women as slags

Please define "slag" and explain what you find objectionable about them. I am sad that in 2018 any human being let alone another woman would refer to anyone using this curiously Victorian term

Most woman I see dressing provocatively IRL are not good looking at all. If you are really attractive you don’t need to show everything you have. So i tend to think they are dressing to titillate men and a bit desperate for attention.

Why should a woman be called anything because of her choices?
If she wants to sleep with a different man every night or dress in revealing clothes, what business is it of anyone else's? What right does anyone have to label someone else for those choices?
Just because it doesn't fit in with your ' moral code ' doesn't mean that she deserves to be called nasty names or to have spiteful assumptions made about her.
Such a pity that people spend more time minding someone else's business instead of their own.

I was so stunned by Argeles comment that I had to do an AV on her.

I can see why she and her husband are so suited.

What is "slut shaming"?

I think the "slag vs stud" arguement is out of date as is getting on your that's-misogyny high-horse.

I don't believe in judging a whole class of people based on the actions (dress) of a minority so no, I don't think it cheapens "us". I do think it cheapens the person who dresses like that though and that goes for men as much as women.

This is one of the most depressing threads I’ve ever read on mumsnet.

Likewise spank

I have an opinion on people who dress in ways that I find inappropriate for the occasion/situation or who (practical and workwear needs aside) just dress in a way that I find ugly and unflattering for their age/size. And I don't like to see too much flesh unless it's a nightclub or a beach. It's just tacky. I feel the same about men too though.

Not because there is any such thing as the 'wrong' thing to wear at any age or size, just because I don't understand why anyone would want to wear things that draw attention to them for looking inappropriately dressed or just worse than they need to look. Tottering around the supermarket at 10 am dressed for a podium dancing session in a nightclub looks ridiculous and ill judged. But it doesn't make you look 'like a slag'.

The same outfit in a nightclub would not draw a second glance or a negative opinion from me.

Do I put a value judgement on that woman in relation to her character, or how she conducts their sex life? No. I don't. Because the two things are not connected.

That's terrible in front of your DC. I'd have a conversation with her about it rather than an email though, but I do find the older people get, the more they get stuck in their own views and can't see anyone else's.

And Christ, the amount of women here who think referring to other women as "slags" is acceptable is beyond me. Sad.

OP, your mother is no kind of feminist. And if that’s the kind of language she used towards you as a teenager, then she’s no great shakes as a mother either. She sounds awful.

Sorry I have to say user thinks everyone is jealous of her and she's gorgeous? Obviously I can't see her but in my experience women who think like that are usually no great shakes and are little more than a laughing stock not the desirable creature they imagine.

I certainly agree that people can wear what they like, but I couldn't disagree more that women who don't wear tight, skimpy clothes, die their hair, or use makeup are jealous of those that do.

For every woman who says someone looks "slutty", there is another woman sneering about how un-made-up women look "frumpy". If anyone disagrees, just look at how much pressure there is on girls to be highly groomed.

Society is far less accepting of women who choose to let their hair go grey and choose to wear relaxed clothes. There are many people (some on this thread) who don't seem to be able to imagine that this can be beautiful.

user1490607838

I have always dressed like this, and had bleached blonde hair, big boobs, and a cracking pair of legs that I like to show off, and the amount of jealous cunts I have had commenting, and telling me I should cover up as I looked 'tarty' and sneering, and looking at me as if I was a piece of shit on their shoe, is phenomenal.

But they don't call you tarty because you have a nice figure. They call you tarty because you fit their definition of tarty in your dress sense. If they sneer it's because you look inappropriately dressed for the occasion. I can assure you they'd say the same if you had a shit figure. In fact they'd probably say it more.

I even had a bitchy cunt of a female manager TELLING me to dress more appropriately once. When I looked at the staff handbook, there was FUCK-ALL in there about not being allowed to wear a skirt that was 2 inches above my knees. So the next day, I wore one even shorter.

But there was probably something about dressing 'appropriately' or 'professionally'. Rest assured, she was not a 'bitchy cunt', she was just a manager being professional and suggesting that you might like to be more professional too. She would have said the same thing to a man coming in wearing a vest and shorts, or wearing his tie too loose. Which bit of this do you not understand?

Some women cannot BEAR it when there is another woman around them who is more attractive than them, and who gets a lot of attention from men. And no that is NOT the reason I dress in short skirts and show my cleavage a bit. It's because I have a cracking figure, and a great pair of legs, and I am proud of the way I look.

Good for you. I'll admit I'm envious. I'd love great legs. But we could swap bodies tomorrow and I still wouldn't dress the way you do, unless it was appropriate for the time and place. I would not need to be told to show less leg and less cleavage in a work environment.

The fact that you do, makes you come across as cheap and little bit dim. Whether you are or not, is not the point. It's all about impressions.

It's not a reason to call you a slag though. I don't equate women's clothes with their sex lives and I don't judge women for having many partners any more or less than I judge men for it.

And every last one of the women who berates me is jealous through and through.

Envious of your legs maybe, but envious of your apparent lack of class and judgement, your arrogance, your vanity and your overtly attention seeking streak, absolutely not. You can keep all that. I'm good thanks.

Calling a woman a SLAG because she is dressed - in your opinion - provocatively - makes you a nasty, bitter, jealous oik.

Now this is where we finally agree on something. It makes you nasty, anyway. Not necessarily the rest, but definitely nasty and judgemental.

Glass I am with you there. It's a special kind of delusion.

right or wrong we are all entitled to an opinion .The only problem is talking like this in front of your kids

Your mother is not a feminist
She's internalised a lot of misogynistic ideas; sadly so have quite a few posters on this thread.

As per Mean Girls (We) have got to stop calling each other slags; it just makes it ok for guys to call you slags.

Slutty and frumpy as insults are both sides of the same deeply unpleasant, thoroughly anti-feminist coin.

An Awful word to use about women. The poor girls of Rotherham were called slags, that's how the men got away with abuse for so long, by putting the blame on the victim. As women we should stand together, never call a woman a slag or slut 😞 It demeans us all