‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

" I literally couldn’t give a shit. In fact some of the funnest people I know are a bit slaggy"

Well, you obviously could give a shit. Or you wouldn't have said they are "a bit slaggy"

I've seen many doctors and i've certainly never judged them, or thought they were less intelligent simply based on hair colour and makeup

Absolutely shouldn't be using the word 'slags' but i dont think the word bint is anymore acceptable!

I think that a bit slaggy lies at the crux between not slaggy and slaggy, so the person isn't a total slag, so just shags up to 5 blokes a week, but also not unslaggy, so she lets her nipples show through her top but doesn't get her tits out totally.
Not a real concept surely.
And surely it is a joke

Absolutely true!

Surely if someone says the phrase some of the funnest people I know are a bit slaggy, they are not using that in the way the OP's mum was. The 'slaggy' person is wearing what they want, which is a good thing, doing what they want, which is a good thing, and some people (eg the OP's mum) would be critical of that, and the 'slaggy' person doesn't care. That's a positive use of it, surely? And positive behaviour.

I'm getting a bit of a headache. I hope I'm being clear. I am against the use of 'slag' as a blamey and pejorative term.

Slag is a term of abuse in my view. The OP was correct to object to her mum using it.

I know, I x-posted with you, sorry

Sometimes I find that people use the word "judge" to mean making only negative judgements, as if judging is always a bad thing.

We all think things about people based on how they present themselves.

And people present themselves in particular ways in order to give out information about themselves.

I do think things about people based on how they dress. When I put clothes on I do so knowing that people are going to think things about me based on my choices, and I deliberately set out to make them think things with my appearance (even if some days the only message I'm sending is "I like the colour green").

A slag is a woman who goes out in as little as possible to find men to sleep with.

user and right I agree with you totally. And the MEN who call women it do so because they can't GET said women.

goose1964
What if she does why does she need to be called a vile name? An adult woman deciding who she sleeps with how dare she!

And if a woman wears what she wants as much or as little as she wants and doesnt care what any man or woman thinks about it and isnt out to sleep with anyone with a pulse, what business is it of anyone elses?

I meant ‘slaggy’ in a tongue in cheek way just as carefully describes. Obviously not sleeping with married men or anything.
What’s wrong with being promiscuous and having a happy care free life? Why is it a bad thing to sleep with a few men/women? Of all the things people get up safe consensual sex seems low on the list of things to get worked up by.

I meant ‘slaggy’ in a tongue in cheek way

I shall have to temporaryily identify as a humourless feminist then. I'm failing to see the tongue in cheek humour in slaggy as opposed to the downright nastiness of slag.

Personally I think it would have been better if u had told her that in front of ur sons to show them that talking about women like that is not acceptable. However, if her reaction to being called out on it is/was likely 2 be an aggressive/dismissive/arguementitive 1 then an email is probably the better option
X

What's the difference between a slag and a slut? In modern terminology.

Not that either are ever acceptable words to use to describe a woman. They aren't. Just wondering if the two words are seen as exactly the same now.

Your mum was BVU but I don't think her political leanings have much to do with her views. I don't think either feminism or 'slut shaming' are the preserve or the right or left. There's a full range of views about women on both sides of the political spectrum.

"I shall have to temporaryily identify as a humourless feminist then."

manic - slut is American. Slut in British English is someone who doesn't clean the house much, though someone upthread said slag was used in that way where they live.

When I was young a distinction was made between a tart and a slag. A tart was less serious, maybe just provocative dressing and flirting.

Thanks, Gwen - I didn't realise the difference in slut was UK/US, I assumed it was just a word which had changed meaning over the years. Your explanation makes more sense.

"My friend is a male nurse and happy to say he's in a female dominated field. Actually, he's disadvantaged in that field "

I actually think that if a male is quite nice, he's seen as very, very nice whereas the same amount of niceness would be seen as normal in a woman. I see this with male receptionists. etc.
Male nurses aren't disadvantaged, they're promoted more than women proportionately.

Just get a nice new Tshirt printed up ‘you ain’t no feminist, ma’.

Gwen
By disadvantaged I meant that in Nursing, the majority are female. But the majority of complaints are about men. Caring can be misconstrued as affection, love or inappropriateness depending on how it is perceived. The same behaviour in different sexes is perceived differently, in his profession to the detriment of men. He now works in ICU.