‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

(Drat. Can’t do the highlight thing on that excerpt for some reason.)

Anyway, I agree with it. Those of you who do not agree are taking a blinkered view of how others most definitely perceive you.

"God some of you are in dire need of style tips"

Except style is subjective, what is "stylish and trendy" in one part of the country is very different to other parts.

What has how a woman dresses possibly got to do with how intelligent she is

I thought it was a sarcastic bouquet of flowers. Lol

I need to take the tips on board for sure.

I mean, look at this woman.

She clearly isn't intelligent is she?

rosewhitetips how others perceive me has everything to do with them and nothing to do to me.

Was that comment directed at me Rose, albeit with a quote fail?

Rose always fascinates me on these threads. I can never quite make up my mind whether she's actually a bot whose programming consists of a few truisms like NO RED LIPSTICK WITH LEOPARDSKIN and CLEAVAGE OR LEGS that get circulated endlessly, or if, rather more frighteningly, she is a human being with that programming.

Honestly, unless you want the whole thread to become all about RoseWhiteTips (as they often do), it's best to ignore her pigtail pulling.

It's become quite tedious.

@FleetwoodSmack you forgot tattoos

*gamerwidow

rosewhitetips I’ll remind myself how unintelligent I am next time I wear these combo to work as the senior technical lead on my next IT project. I’ve worked in a male dominated profession all my life I canassure you no one makes the mistake of not taking me seriously.*

Oh, yes.

But you are right, Worra.

I thought Rose was taking the piss. She isn't being serious, is she?

You never hear men saying that they work in a female dominated industry.

U2 I don't know. As what strikes me about her before she opens her mouth is her looks and how she styles herself.
Sorry if you don't agree, but that is what happens to me internally, thought wise, when I see people.
We all have different views of people. You may not agree but at least I am honest. Our views are formed through our experiences.
OP I was also called a slag by my mum, I had snogged one boy and she said 'I could have anything'-ie, an STD.
I wouldn't dream of calling my daughter a slag even if she shagged 100 men. But I would definitely, 100% advise her on clothing and style in a way which maximises her opportunities in a patriarchal society. And 'getting her tits out', as some groups of men may say, is certainly not one of them. It is possible to be attractive without that.
And actually I don't know who that photo is, don't subscribe to celebrity culture and fashion. Perhaps I ought to? I don't know.

I'm pretty sure she lives in Downton Abbey

*RoseWhiteTips

gamerwidow

rosewhitetips I’ll remind myself how unintelligent I am next time I wear these combo to work as the senior technical lead on my next IT project. I’ve worked in a male dominated profession all my life I can assure you no one makes the mistake of not taking me seriously.

Oh goodness, you didn’t have to present a truncated version of your CV... After all, you have nothing to prove! Lol

I was imagining how unacceptable such a mode of dress would be in a corporate world, in fact. I cannot recall the last time I saw a lawyer in leopard print, a red pout and red claws...

(Sorry my cutting and pasting is all over the place today!)

radio yes that’s true. Wonder why? Maybe because there aren’t many female dominated industries or because the female dominated industries like nursing and teaching aren’t as respected?

worra you’re right

I do not rise to the bait, by the way - or “bate” as some call it.

Rose that's some of my argument.
Some ?most? professional women have to downplay their femininity through dress/style to appear serious. In the same way that men cannot openly demonstrate macho attributes, such as muscles, tattoos, certain haircuts and jewellery, in work settings.
I also thought of the tattoo thread and actually this is relevant. Tattoos on council estate girls are viewed as tramp stamps. On middle class women they are an expression of themselves or skin art. The same thing is viewed differently depending on context.
On holiday, on the beach, clothing showing breasts etc is acceptable. In some workplaces, not so much. Working for instance in mental health, or a school, not at all.
It is all down to how we want to be perceived. And yes, it really does matter, and to argue the opposite would be naïve.

My friend is a male nurse and happy to say he's in a female dominated field. Actually, he's disadvantaged in that field because natural caring behaviours, such as reassuring touch (to an arm, say, or a hand) are seen as dodgy from a man but acceptable from a woman. So it is both ways. And I think nurses are as respectable as any other profession. They are amazing despite shit conditions.

Hmm. It’s an interesting one, this. Haven’t read the whole thread yet so apologies if what I’m about to say has already been said (and probably more succinctly!)

I don’t condone calling any one a slag based on either their dress sense, general appearance, attitude, number of sexual partners etc. It’s a horrible word used to belittle women and keep us in our place.

However… do I make judgements about people based on how they present themselves? Absolutely. And I think most of us would be lying if we claimed we didn’t.

If you’ll allow me to blow my own trumpet for a moment, I’m not a bad looking lass. Decent body, fit and conventionally attractive (or so my experiences lead me to believe.)
I don’t feel the need to flaunt it or draw attention to it when I’m not working.

I work in the sex industry and spend most of the day trussed up in stockings, high heels, plunging necklines and tiny skirts. I’ll be damned if I’m wearing that shit for fun in my free time. It’s not comfortable or practical, and it’s all designed to show off the female form for male attention – that’s the bottom line.
Why would anyone subject themselves to the discomfort of this stuff unless they were doing it for the attention and fleeting, flimsy validation that comes from people admiring/envying your body?

‘Oh but I wear it for myself not for men or other women!’

Aye… ok. If someone can tell me how dressing like you’re in my line of work benefits you in any way, I’ll happily listen and reassess my judgement.

People are entitled to wear what they want (within reason) but, to me, a tiny micro-skirt and see through blouse when you work in an office entering data into spreadsheets just screams low self-esteem.
I don’t think these women are slags, I think they lack confidence in their other attributes so rely on their bodies/looks to carry them.

It doesn’t stir envy in me – it makes me angry that we live in a world where a lot of women feel they are more valuable when they have less clothes on.

Bloody fantastic post Brazen. Spot on.

It is all down to how we want to be perceived.

If someone perceives me a certain way that is their issue. Not mine and I wouldn't change myself because of some people's pathetic judgments.

The fact that you can't take women seriously because they don't feel the need to change the way they look so they aren't perceived a certain way is very sad.

We shouldn't encourage women to look a certain way so they are perceived a certain way. We should be fighting against it.