to be sick of "I usually don't like women with short hair, but..."?

[AnnaPannocchia]

Seriously, if I hear that sentence once again I might scream!

I have a pixie haircut, and I love it. It looks good on me. I also take care of myself, dress well, put make up on, etc etc. I am a normal, happy, young woman with short hair.

You would not believe the amount of men who feel the need to comment on my haircut, and communicate to me how they normally don't like women with short hair at all, but they are soooo surprised that it looks good on me! Shock horror! An attractive woman with short hair!!

This has happened to me many, many times. Last Friday a random man at the pub literally came over to my table just to share this enlightened observation with me

I am pretty sure it was intended as a compliment, but it sounds so patronizing and narrow-minded! Surely attractive women (exactly like men) come in different shapes, sizes, facial features and hairstyles!

What suits me might not suit another woman, but why the need to imply that all women with short hair are unattractive and I should be grateful that I am an exception to this apparenty universal rule??

AIBU to be tired of men who feel entitled to express non-requested opinions on my haircut while implying that women can only be attractive with long hair?

Sorry for the rant but

[NotACleverName]

You do realise your personal opinion is not the same as objective reality, don’t you?

No, she really, really doesn't this one.

[Yorkshirebetty]

I had my long hair cut short back in 1975 when I was 15. It caused uproar! My mum was convinced I'd never get a boyfriend. When I went to university I got a lot of negative comments along the lines of things said here. I'm just disappointed that 40 years on, women are getting similar responses!

[Headofthehive55]

Ayes I'm thinking of early 80s wedge, Diana, page boy. Or a curly perm. Not long and straight. Like I had.
I disagree with thinking that people weren't pressurised then. They were.

[Vitalogy]

Rude of them to make a comment about your appearance.

I think most men prefer women with long hair though. And most women prefer tall men.

I have long hair because I like it, I also find men with long hair and beards more attractive.

[Thisnamechanger]

When I had long blonde hair I got chatted up all the time, when I cut it off and dyed it red that pretty much stopped overnight. Which i actually prefer.

[elisa2502]

I have a chin length bob. Love it and it suits me. I'm a teacher all of my female students look the same. Long straight hair either slightly curled with ghd's or a messy bun and all with identical brows and attempts at contouring

[Montyrage]

I haven't read all the thread yet but the random bloke who works in my local shop and mini market type place said to me.

'I'm really sorry but I don't think women should have short hair, I don't think it's right.

I was a bit taken aback to come out with something whitty so just replied that I must apologise profusely as I had not realised that I should have checked his approval before having it cut...

It's now very short.

Dd has literally just had a pixie cut done and if he says anything to her I swear...

[aquashiv]

Our Dd had short hair as a young child. Firstly a few hair dressers wouldn't cut her long blonde hair saying she would regret it. She didn't. The amount of sexist comments saying she looked like a boy to did you cut her hair short because she had nits mainly from women I hasten to add. It looked fantastic short. Bizarre when I was a child short hair in girls was fine.

[jedenfalls]

krusty Love it.

I shaved my hair off, as I found a pixie cut too high maintenance (!) it works as a beautiful asshole filter.

I did say to one such chap at work, ‚‘yes but I’m not paid to be decorative (bloody good job too, considering) im paid for the ridiculously specialised and detailed knowledge that’s INSIDE my head, not the appearance of the outside of it‘

It’s much better now I’m over 40, and I’m invisible to those twats anyway.

[Vitalogy]

*No one ever worries about whether men have the right kind of face for their hair do they? To be fair, lots of comments are made about baldness and the fashion for beards atm.

[jedenfalls]

Oh yes, and I also got ‚‘does your husband mind‘ when I had my head shaved.

Dear reader, he helped me do it.

Mainly because I’d been wistfully saying for years that I fancied shaved hair. One morning I was moaning about the cost of my upcoming haircut and he said, ‚‘ffs, stop complaining, I’ll get the clippers out‘

[Italiangreyhound]

"To be fair, lots of comments are made about baldness and the fashion for beards atm."

Are those comments made by women to men they do not know, at all?

[Vitalogy]

Are those comments made by women to men they do not know, at all? There's more women than men at my place of work so there's piss take for sure, a lot of women I know wouldn't be afraid of giving there opinion either. There was a thread on here the other day about men with beards, the majority of posters weren't for it, made lots of negative comment but that's ok, everyone is entitled to an opinion.
Give as good as you get.

[HighDefinitionComfy]

I just wish any bloody haircut would look good on me.......

[KochabRising]

I have never heard, and would be quite shocked to hear, a woman commenting on male baldness

[RosaDeZoett]

I'm loving the Smooth Talking Racists Surprised you didn't immediately fall on your back with your legs in the air.
I too have V short hair, most of the nutty comments come from women. "do YOU like it?" "you're very brave" "what does your husband think?" Men say nothing, I think perhaps they are frightened of me.... Reading this thread,
I keep hearing that line from Leonard Cohen in my head "She told me again she preferred handsome men, but for me, she would make an exception"

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

If I didn't have the most ginormous forehead I'd have a pixie cut.

[Italiangreyhound]

Vitalogy beards have grown in me! Not literally. But the thought of kissing a beard! No. I know a few bearer blokes but I'd never tell them how I feel, positive or negative. and I'd never walk up to a random stranger and share my views on beards!

I guess in my experience, most of the time, women don't seem to say to total strangers whether they approve of their looks. But men do it a lot more. it smacks of the idea women need permission on how they present. We may not like how men present, we mayvyell husbands, brothers, friends but I don't think strangers. And if I were a male colleague whose beard was discussed I'd be kissed off!

[RosaDeZoett]

Actually no! It's not because they're frightened of me at all! I've just realised, I'm 45, and so I'm invisible

[Bakedappleflavour]

I've had short hair my whole life. It's shoulder length at the moment and I still get people saying it's "short".

I do find longer hair lower maintenance as if it's looking a bit manky I can just tie it up whereas because I have naturally wavy hair if I don't style it properly when it's short it looks awful.

[Italiangreyhound]

Freudian typo! Pissed off not kissed off!

[sallyandherarmy]

Most of the women I know with long hair seem to 'hide' behind it. As if their long hair is all that there is about them.

Whereas the women I know with short/shorter hair, are happy to let their personalities take centre stage.

Long hair screams 'bimbo'.

Puts on tin hat

[CaptainCardamom]

Have you ever noticed that many men think a woman is a stunner because she has long, blonde hair, even if she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp?

Slow hand clap for the most shallow comment of the day. Up the sisterhood eh?

I know what you're trying to say but I think you're missing the point. She didn't have a face like that because she was ugly - she wasn't (though that's subjective anyway, but in conventional terms). She had that expression because she was mean! Men ignored her personality in favour of her hair.

I do find that interesting and don't see why I should be shamed into not mentioning it.

[RoseWhiteTips]

MrsJoshDun

I have a pixie cut. I would say the amount of attention I get from blokes dropped a lot when I cut my hair even though everyone on MN (said they) loved my transformation thread and said I looked 10 years younger.

When it was long I just tied it up/in a bun all the time. When it was down it had no style......I would go to the hairdressers and have it trimmed, etc and it would look ok but two days later with me in charge I would look like Hagrid if I let it down.

I sometimes wonder how those, who are encouraged by so many here on Mumsnet,
actually get in with the drastic short hairstyle once the reality sets in.
It is interesting to read your experience.