to be sick of "I usually don't like women with short hair, but..."?

[AnnaPannocchia]

Seriously, if I hear that sentence once again I might scream!

I have a pixie haircut, and I love it. It looks good on me. I also take care of myself, dress well, put make up on, etc etc. I am a normal, happy, young woman with short hair.

You would not believe the amount of men who feel the need to comment on my haircut, and communicate to me how they normally don't like women with short hair at all, but they are soooo surprised that it looks good on me! Shock horror! An attractive woman with short hair!!

This has happened to me many, many times. Last Friday a random man at the pub literally came over to my table just to share this enlightened observation with me

I am pretty sure it was intended as a compliment, but it sounds so patronizing and narrow-minded! Surely attractive women (exactly like men) come in different shapes, sizes, facial features and hairstyles!

What suits me might not suit another woman, but why the need to imply that all women with short hair are unattractive and I should be grateful that I am an exception to this apparenty universal rule??

AIBU to be tired of men who feel entitled to express non-requested opinions on my haircut while implying that women can only be attractive with long hair?

Sorry for the rant but

[RoseWhiteTips]

Corrected version...!

I sometimes wonder how those, who are encouraged by so many here on Mumsnet, actually get on with the drastic short hairstyle once the reality sets in.
It is interesting to read your experience.

[OddBoots]

Over the past few years at the high school around here the hair has gone from all long hair on girls to a much more varied mix of styles. Quite a few still have long hair but enough have other styles that no-one has the 'sore thumb' problem. It's a shame that only seems to be a local thing.

DD is 14 and has had a pixie cut for over a year, she has had no significant problems. Sometimes when we are out and about she is mistaken for a boy and she was asked a few times when she first had it done if she was trans (some were quite insistent that she must be) but that seems to have died down now.

I'd like to get my hair shorter but given that I prefer to cut it myself rather than go to a hairdresser it is much easier to keep it longish.

[MrsJoshDun]

@rosewhitetips

I wasn’t actually encouraged by MN. Posted photos and everyone said not to do it. But thought fuck it and did it anyway, everyone said they loved it....maybe they were being polite!

I do still prefer it. But I think men don’t. I’m unsure whether I’m bothered by that or not.

[Headofthehive55]

My experience with short hair is that it looks wild. Unkempt. Truly dragged through a hedge backwards. I have to wet it ever morning. Hats never were a problem with long hair, now I get hat hair. Agggh!

[CaptainCardamom]

I love my short pixie, but yes to hat hair. Terrible. If I wear a woolly hat when it's cold, I'll look like a squashed baby chick for the rest of the day.

[Milaje]

Try being a black woman with a shaved head. Not only does it get commented on in similar fashion, they actually reach out to feel my head (both men and women)! A decade on from having shaved it, I'm getting pretty good at ducking out of the way long before their hands make contact, but it's infuriating! And no, asking (for permission) before you reach out to feel my head does not make it any less dehumanising!

My DC is getting to an age now where they notice my shiny bald head is different and we even crack jokes about sunlight reflecting off it(!), but they understand that a woman can do as she pleases with her body and it's not their place to project their confusion/insecurities by making uninvited comments to strangers about how they look.

[CharlieSierra]

RoseWhiteTips when I got my 'drastically' short pixie cut I never looked back. It took at least a decade off me, it feels great, it's easy to manage and I love it. Not that I give even one tiny fuck, but I got compliments from men at work, the type of men who wouldn't normally have commented on a woman's appearance just sort of blurted out things like 'wow, great hair', almost like it was involuntary. And fwiw both those examples look better with short hair imo.

[OddBoots]

Milaje - you've hit the nail on the head there, it isn't about short hair really, it is about the idea that people (mainly men, but sometimes women) think they can make uninvited comments about how other people (mainly women, but sometimes men) look. Not only do they feel entitled to make such a comment but they also think that the comment ought to be regarded as some valuable insight rather than plain rudeness.

[RebelRogue]

Just turn it back on them

"Oh I know! I normally don't like short/tall/bulky/skinny/whatever men but.... nope I still don't ".

[FizzyGreenWater]

'You should stop thinking it's ok to make random comments to strangers. It's really weird, and rude. But since you started it, your hair makes you look really horsey. Drags your face down.'

[AnnaPannocchia]

"Is this thread about short hair or more about you letting everybody know that your attractive"

Chunky I don't think I shared a pic of my face/ haircut, so how on Earth would this thread be about how attractive or unattractive I personally am...? It is about men who approach me to express their views on the way I cut my hair, which I find really annoying and inappropriate!

[AnnaPannocchia]

Italiangreyhound to be honest I am usually so surprised by the comment that I just say "Oh thank you, I really love short hair" or something unremarkable along those lines. I should really come up with a wittier response!

[Italiangreyhound]

"Long hair screams 'bimbo'." Ha ha. Comments like "Long hair screams 'bimbo'. Scream ridiculous preconceptions about women.

[ScrambledSmegs]

8yo DD1 has a graduated bob - jaw length at the front, shorter and shaped at the back. It suits her so much better than having longer hair. In fact she looks more feminine with it, as she used to have to tie it back for school and it's so fine and light that she almost looked bald from certain angles. Some other girls in her class, who up till recently had universally long hair, have now had shorter haircuts too.

The mums who've commented have been really complimentary, asking who cuts her hair etc. The few dads who've commented have said that she's 'brave'. None of the kids, girls or boys, think she's any less of a girl, it's clearly a man thing.

[Summercat]

There's a certain type of man who thinks a women's physical appearance is for their benefit alone

I agree with this from page 1.

I love to see a cute pixie cut, and I really wish I could get away with it but I can't...

I would not even engage with them OP.

[Italiangreyhound]

AnnaPannocchia trouble is ignoring the comment could lead to a mouthful of abuse, like you should be grateful!

Likewise "I usually don't like women with short hair, but..." you could reply in your head "I usually don't like random comments from blokes in pubs...." But again, you are likely to get a load of abuse.

I wonder if you can safely avoid the thank you? Simply say something upbeat like "I love my hair." or "short hair is great."

I just hate the fact random blokes get to share their opinions like this!

[Summercat]

Emma Willis is a hot 'short hair cut' chick.

Sexy as f*ck!

[TheKitchenWitch]

I've had women comment that they would love to have short hair like mine but their partner wouldn't like them to cut it...

[IfNot]

I think it's OK to say a woman has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp if she does,and I took it to mean sour faced rather than ugly anyway.
Nice to know my long hair makes me look like a bimbo sally!..Although in real life its more Hagrid, as a pp said ( brilliant!)

[TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain]

I've often said to various people IRL that no man ever gets told he has the wrong face shape for short hair.

Mine has been no longer than a 1920s shingle/bob since I was 14, and I'm now 44. I love how tactile short hair is, how my cheekbones, eyes and long neck stand out, and how makeup looks better without hair competing with it.

I do usually prefer short hair on men as well, but I'd never make rude comments to long-haired men, and there are plenty of exceptions - it's not that I think no men look good with long hair, or that long hair on men is somehow wrong. DH had a sort of chin-length 1990s man-bob when we met.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Here here, love short hair, it is awesome. My hair is fine and not a lot of it, so I tend to wear my hair short. My DH preferred long hair in woman, but I get it cut how I want, he's not the one who has to wear it. I have never had a negative from my short hair, apart from dd 10 who has ASD who says I am a bit because I have short hair. She is quite black and white what boys and girls look like.

[noeffingidea]

TheKitchenWitch that brings back a memory from years ago, sitting in the hairdressers minding my own business when a man came in furious, shouting at and abusing the receptionist because his wife had had her hair cut short there. Apparently that happens fairly frequently.

[grasspigeons]

There was definitely a time in the 80s when lots of girls had short hair - when I look at my school photos, there are a few girls with long hair, lots of chin length and lots of even shorter. I guess Diana had short hair. I don't know what grown women in general were doing then.

There are no girls with hair shorter than chin length in either of childrens classes and only a couple as short as that.

[MrsJoshDun]

17yo dd has a bob and reckons she’s the only girl in sixth form who hasn’t got long hair.

[Summercat]

Michelle Williams.. Ruby Rose. Halle Berry......

Many women look nice with short hair (and feminine.)

The men saying what they do to you @anna is just daft.

Also, with regard to what someone said earlier in the thread, I know a few women who keep their hair long, because their boyfriend/husband would not like it short.