to be sick of "I usually don't like women with short hair, but..."?

[AnnaPannocchia]

Seriously, if I hear that sentence once again I might scream!

I have a pixie haircut, and I love it. It looks good on me. I also take care of myself, dress well, put make up on, etc etc. I am a normal, happy, young woman with short hair.

You would not believe the amount of men who feel the need to comment on my haircut, and communicate to me how they normally don't like women with short hair at all, but they are soooo surprised that it looks good on me! Shock horror! An attractive woman with short hair!!

This has happened to me many, many times. Last Friday a random man at the pub literally came over to my table just to share this enlightened observation with me

I am pretty sure it was intended as a compliment, but it sounds so patronizing and narrow-minded! Surely attractive women (exactly like men) come in different shapes, sizes, facial features and hairstyles!

What suits me might not suit another woman, but why the need to imply that all women with short hair are unattractive and I should be grateful that I am an exception to this apparenty universal rule??

AIBU to be tired of men who feel entitled to express non-requested opinions on my haircut while implying that women can only be attractive with long hair?

Sorry for the rant but

I think it's ok to express a preference?

Preference is fine. But I’m sure you wouldn’t dream of saying to a random man ‘I usually find men of your looks repulsive but I’m going to give you an exception, so be grateful.’

Because that would be the height of rudeness and entitlement.

I’m not keen on moustaches, man buns and over grooming. I keep that firmly to myself and I’d never dream of commenting on someone else’s apperance unless it was to compliment them.

There is a woman at work who is slim, long-legged, big breasts and has long long blond hair. She is generally considered gorgeous - but sadly she has a face that looks like she was staring at a huge stinky pile of dog shit when the wind changed. And has the attitude to match. But still..... shes 'gorgeous'.

Yeah this.
I lost all my hair to alopecia and when I finally had the confidence to take the wig away and have my natural 3 or so inches of hair out in public, the comments I got were appalling. One bloke I barely knew admitted to stalking my social media and informed me that in HIS opinion, I’d be a lot more attractive if I just grew my hair 18 or so inches extra overnight.
Guess what? No negative comments from women.

And while we on gender stereotyping both my boys have long hair - DS1 has gorgeous strawberry blond hair down to his shoulder blades. DS2 has dark ringlets past his collar. Both beautiful (IMO). And funnily enough DD has a short bob.

Yes I have preferences, but I agree that you shouldn't go up to a random and express it.

However I don't like people complimenting me on my short hair. I hate it. I don't really care if that person thinks I look nice with it, it's about how I feel about it.
So it just makes me remember at that point I have short hair. And rather an awkward silence follows...

Plenty of women don’t like short blokes

but they don't feel the need to tell them. "I don't usually like short blokes but...!

IrianOfW, good fir them. I hope they all stay strong and confident about their hair.

"I don't usually like X but for you I'd make an exception" is a stock chatup line.

And a shit one.

*Plenty of women don’t like short blokes

but they don't feel the need to tell them. "I don't usually like short blokes but...!*

True, they are not usually that unsubtle about it.

"I don't usually come out and tell men they're patronizing assholes, but I've got to tell you, you are an patronizing asshole."

RE the long hair, big/perfect brows, fake tan, contour etc etc beauty trends. It is all so so commercially driven. It all makes loads of money for large corporations. Hair being the best example - the main trends are achieved via products and chemical processes/fake hair using electrical appliances that then damages your hair and makes you buy more lotions and potions. And so the cycle continues! We are a long way from the iconic twiggy crop.

I used to have really short hair and loved it!

I had a pixie cut from age 21 to 58. I reckon it suits me short, I have good cheekbones.
I've grown it to all collar length in the last year or so and annoyingly everyone likes it
I hate it and want it all off again. I hate how long it takes to dry, I hate how it falls in your face, I hate the hairs on your clothes and I hate flicky hair it seems unhygienic.

I was told, as a shy 16 yr old, "oh dear, you really are too fat to pull off short hair"! From BF Mum.

I find it sad that ALL the girls at ds secondary school have identical long straight hair. If one of them got a cute pixie cut ( or even a bob! ) she would stand out a mile. Once they get in sixth form the occasional brave soul gets a funky haircut but it's not usual.
It's like we've gone backwards. In the 90s I remember my brothers had waist length hair and their girlfriends often had short/ semi shaved/ spikes..
And yeah, I don't like men with small shoulders but I don't march up to narrow shouldered men and tell them that! Why would they even want to know what I think of the way they look? But young women are supposed to be grateful for the feedback?!

The op above saying this is rigid gender stereotyping is bang on.

This is all part of this toxic environment that says ‘women look like x and do x’ if you do not do x you’re not a woman/not womanly etc. Our narrow stereotypes do no one, of either sex, any good.
I also think it’s feeding into this pressure for kids to declare themselves trans. If a child doesn’t fit into the rigid gender stereotyping, the answer isn’t that they're in the wrong body and need surgery- it’s that our stereotypes are too bloody narrow.

Years ago I shaved my head and the comments from men ranged from you look like a boy, you'd look better if you grew it, to you look like a lesbian. Women told me I looked amazing, I was so brave, they wished they had the guts and it must be great to not have to bother with styling my hair.

Now my hair is tailbone length apparently it's too long!

You're supposed to fall into their arms in gratitude that they've made an exception for you.

I have very thick hair. Whenever I had it long people would say it would look better short as it was hiding my face. Whenever I had it short it was “oh you have such beautiful thick hair, why don’t you grow it?”

I used to get that too! ''You'd be more attractive with long hair''.

I remember one day a TOTAL stranger just said it to me, apropos NOTHING and I said you'd be more attractive if you weren't carrying extra weight. He was like 'ok bitch'.

Now I'm older I get more women saying it to me, usually workmates .
I've had a very short pixie forever and still get them saying I wish I could go short but .
Theres one woman who comments, all the bloody time about how brave I am but her husband wouldn't fancy her with short hair . Tbh her hair is a mess , dry, dyed too dark, about 2 inches of grey roots, and no style to it.

When I was 20, with a really short crop, 2 men came up to me in the supermarket and asked me if I was a Lesbian. I looked them up and down and said "I am now."

So weird, I posted about this a few days ago.

Remember getting a taxi to the hairdressers and just before I got out the taxi driver says "don't have it cut too short; I don't like women with short hair"

The entitlement is astounding.....

I'm no longer even trying to meet somebody and I do think that at my age, getting a short hair cut would signal that
It shouldn't but I think it would. And that used to make me afraid but lately I'm finding the idea exciting. My teenage dd would kill me because she is of the school of thought that a woman has long hair full stop.

@cocolepew, yeh I know what you mean! Not all long hair is nice hair!!

A lot of women ( I only personally know of one or two) but it's a common affliction, have long mouse brown hair that is either too thin or too frizzy to look nice. Woman in my work thinks long hair is adding to her gorgeousness and it is the dullest looking hair. It is just long, neither fair nor dark, bit frizzy and has a healthy peppering of grey. She would be in the ''oh I'd never go short!!'' brigade!

My teenage dd would kill me because she is of the school of thought that a woman has long hair full stop.

I remember as a child (maybe 5 or 6) seeing a man with really long hair for the first time. I remember the confusion and my father explaining to me that sometimes men have long hair too. My mind was blown!