To ask what you'd think about someone who had a baby at 14

[Applestrawberryblackcurrant]

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth? Or would you not be bothered. Asking for friend.

A great grandma at 41 Sarah ? That would mean 3 generations in a row all becoming parents at 14 or in one case 13... That's more worrying than a one off accidental teen pregnancy, it's a family culture of very early teen or even pre teen sexual activity and pregnancy...

I would also hope she had a close and loving family to be there for her.
We would talk to her, make sure she knew that whatever she chooses she can have a great life.

Life is what you make it, and she should embrace motherhood now that it is here, finish school and build a career and life with her little one at the centre. Life throws curveballs all the time, she is just learning to deal with it earlier than most.

Why would people assume rape? If two fourteen year olds have a baby together its fat from ideal but its not rape .I knew a few girls In my year at school who got pregnant between the ages of 14 and 16 (catholic school) DropDead I'm 44 so 30 ish years ago I imagine young girls getting pregnant has always happened .

I'd not want to judge but deep down possibly would. I'd assume that someone that sexually precocious (assuming this wasn't rape) was probably not too bright and unlikely to be my kind of person. I feel the same about people with visible tattoos. I have been proved wrong and met nice people with tattoos but that's what first springs to mind

I'd think 'poor child' and hope she had the right support network around her to help and encourage her to do what she wanted to do with her life.

I wouldn't assume rape or that she had been let down by adults tbh. Many 14 year olds want and have sex. Even well parented, loved and cared for children. Sex can result in accidental pregnancy. These things happen. I don't see why anyone would assume she was a neglected, badly parented child with no boundaries who was out partying every night. She might well be. But she might not.

I had my first child at 19. I was at university. I got pregnant at a party. I was drunk and I was a virgin. You could say spectacularly unlucky, you could say spectacularly stupid. Either way, I was so lucky to have the right background, support and education to keep going and get my degree and PGCE while pregnant and raising my baby so it hasn't affected my life negatively. Many aren't so lucky. I wouldn't judge either way.

I’d be more likely to judge her parents rather than her. Unless she was raped.

I know someone who's daughter got pregnant at 14.

Lovely girl, lovely parents, good stable home life & no other issues at all.

Her 'boyfriend' was 19 - her parents didn't approve, but they couldn't force her to stop seeing him, to do that would have meant she'd have just started lying about seeing him.

She had the baby at 15 - he was reported to the police etc but they refused to take it any further as it was 'consensual'

She is a fantastic mother, and is trying her best to make it work - she went back to school 4 months after giving birth & passed her exams, her parents continue to support her.

So what would I think of a 14 yr old getting pregnant?
I'd think 'poor girl' and hope that she had a solid support network to make a decision on continuing with the pregnancy or not, and beyond.

I would assume they were either abused or had a poor upbringing. I would only give them a wide berth if they were an awful person which would apply whatever age they had children.

Below age of consent so the father had sex without consent. That's rape.

If the child chose to have the child, I would hope she had support because she could not work, have her own home etc.

And if the father is also below the age of conent special did they rape each other ?

I’d feel sorry for them. However if they were an engaged and caring parent and had worked hard to make something of themselves, I’d have a lot of respect for them.

A friend of my DD’s recently had sex at 15 - DD told me the gory details(!). said girl was def up for it, but by all accounts wasn’t a pleasant experience & it’s v on/off with the boy (he apparently got off with someone else a couple of days later too). If you’re a young teen who can have sex and cope with the emotional and potentially life/changing consequences then good luck to you. If not, then don’t go there!! There has been talk of the boy having an std too - the friend took the MAP - had to lie at chemist saying she was 16. What would I think of a 14 yr old pregnant? I’d feel sorry for them and think it was a shame. Having similar aged kids myself I can’t imagine either wanting to do it yet, neither are emotionally ready & my nearly 14 yr old boy / no bloody way!!

If i met a 14 year old with a baby i would feel sorry for them. My ds is near that age and i could not imagine him having that responsibilty.

I had my ds a few years older than 14 and i am undecided on whether it is good or not. On the plus side by the time he is an adult i can still have my own life and if i am lucky enough to become a granny i will be a young granny and able to babysit and do granny things. On the negative side i feel like my career prospects have suffered and i missed out on other things teens and young adults do.

It doesn’t work like that in English/Welsh law Specialsubjecf. If someone has sex with a willing 13/14/15 year old then they commit the crime of unlawful sexual activity with a child. But it’s not classed as rape if the young person consents (grooming or coercion aside).

specialsubject

Below age of consent so the father had sex without her consent. That's rape.

No it isn't. I do wish people would post when they clearly no nothing about the law.

Strictly speaking it would be an offence of sexual activity with a child which as the father is the the same age (ie a child himself) she would in theory commit the same offence. However if both parties were consenting to the sexual activity no one would face any prosecution.

I would wonder what sort of life she'd had because there are always reasons why young girls find themselves pregnant. It could have been abuse, or perhaps her parents had their own issues and she wasn't given the love and care she needed, so she went looking elsewhere.

I'd feel incredibly sorry for them. A life not spent.

If I met her many years later I wouldn't judge her on how old she had her kids at. I'm in my thirties and had two in my teens and (to the best of my knowledge) no one I meet now judges me for it.
If it was a teenager I knew then I might feel worry / sympathy, but I wouldn't avoid them, or encourage my dc to do so.

technically it is rape as the girl cannot consent at that age.

I would feel sorry for her - to have such a huge responsibility at such a young age seems quite sad. While I wouldn’t judge her as she’s just a child herself, I would probably judge her parents and how they raised her 🙁

Thinking about what a child I was at 14, god knows what kind of parent I would have made. It’s a scary thought.

So of two fourteen year olds have sex the girl can't consent but the boy can bearing in mind he is also under the age of consent Tommorow?

I’d feel sorry for her and her child

I would probably judge someone who planned to have a baby at 14.