To ask what you'd think about someone who had a baby at 14

[Applestrawberryblackcurrant]

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth? Or would you not be bothered. Asking for friend.

100% with Unimaginative

They’ll be subjected to a massive amount of judging

I did it myself

Until my DD (who I had aged 39) was very friendly with a girl at primary who’s mum had her at 15

Totally blew all my preconceptions out the window

Lovely family, DDs friend recently started grammar school. Parents still together, very happy, have another child who is also really thriving

It still blows my mind her mum is still just late twenties

But a 14 year old that age of normal intelligence would be expected to have the capacity to make the decision for themselves about whether they stay pregnant, whether or not I find it 'acceptable' as their parent.

But not the capacity to give consent to sex on account of being only 14?

That isn’t to encourage young women to have babies in their teens.

Children. They are children.

I have a feeling some of you on this thread advocating for these 'young women' to be able to make their own decisions about their pregnancies without pressure from their parents to abort are the very same people who would be arguing that they've been raped because as 'children' they are unable to give consent.

Generally we refer to teenagers as young people. If we need to identify one sex, then young woman or young man.

They’re not adults. We all know that.

Young woman suggests a girl considerably older than 14.

In fact, "young girl" is perfectly appropriate?

I would simply think about the person they are now and judge them on that. I wouldn’t necessarily feel sorry for them either.
They may be a lovely person who has gone on to try and make something of themselves.
Or they could be an arsehole.
Same as you get lovely people and arseholes who have kids at 24,34 and 44 and every age in between.

Also, whist I certainly would not want my son becoming a father at age 14 and I would be horrified if any potential potential daughter I have became a mother so young, it is fascinating that people would judge someone for having sex at 14. It’s really not that uncommon. In face from a purely biological perspective it is probably when women should have their children.
Of course mentally they aren’t prepared and that’s why the law says 16, but In context of th many generations before us, for most of history women have given birth and successfully parented at age 14 so I could not understand why anyone would pass judgement on a 14 year old who finds them self in this situation.

I'm not sure what your point is beverley.

Are you saying that parents should be able to force their 14 year old daughters to have abortions?

for most of history women have given birth and successfully parented at age 14

For "most of history" the mother and baby mortality rate would have been sky high. And your point is?

'For "most of history" the mother and baby mortality rate would have been sky high. And your point is?'

And still are where girls are married as young teens, because it's known they suffer potential for more complications. Plenty of societies figured out early on that late teens was preferable.

For most of history most 14 year old girls couldn't have children - the average age of menarche has dropped so low because of modern diet and nutrition.

For most of history we didn't have electricity, industry, average human survival rates beyond 50.

I read a book by Lindsay Allason-Jones on women in Roman Britain and she says iirc the overall average age of death from tombstone evidence was 28. (And that presumably that excludes neonatal mortality as newborns didn't have tombstones.)

She'd be great to have on for a web chat actually .... and Mary Beard ...

Teenage pregnancy is lower than when teenagers used to have to have dodgy abortions or give their babies up for adoption, surely that means that making it less of a taboo is actually helpful.

No, it means that since people had access to safe legal abortion as well as contraception they tend to use them.

I wouldn't make judgement, I'd get to know them

No, it means that since people had access to safe legal abortion as well as contraception they tend to use them.

I think it’s teen pregnancy not just teenagers giving birth that’s lower. So it’s not to do with abortions. Access to contraceptives obviously an important factor but teens are actually having sex later.

My initial instinct were that they were uneducated and working class
I certainly would not give them a wide birth.
Having sex at 14 would not be the issue, having a baby is

Good sex education for both boys and girls is associated with later start of sexual activity (and also higher reports that that sex is enjoyable for girls). Countries that encourage talking about sex to children tend to have much lower teenage pregnancy rates compared with those that go down more of the don't talk about it, no sex before marriage and stigmatising young mothers route. This is seen as a success because while some young mothers do well many many struggle in ways that might not be the case if the had their children a few years later (particularly if the underlying reasons are about their own unhappiness, or being put under pressure to have sex or not seeing much of a future for themselves). Higher levels of maternal education and wellbeing have strong correlations with better outcomes of children too.

If you yourself are a good mum, you wouldn't judge or avoid her. I've had my dd at 27 she's 15 Months now, however due to my anorexia I often feel like I am still a teenager, I still require a lot of support from my fiancé, friends, family and my eating disorder team to help me cope with bringing up my daughter. Being a mum is hard! And had I had to go through it at 14 I don't know how I would have coped, at least at 27 I don't have to deal with school and exams! If I knew her I would try to help her and support her as best I could, give her a friendly ear when you need to say the things you feel you can't say to anyone else, getting stuff off your chest helps. Even if it's just moaning about how dd had worn you down to your last tether during bedtime change by crawling off super fast finishing off with a bite on the inner thigh, only to look up at you and smile. The joy of parenting! Now imagine that whilst you're dealing with your own adolescent hormonal changes. Every one makes mistakes, past can't be changed but the future can