To ask what you'd think about someone who had a baby at 14

[Applestrawberryblackcurrant]

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth? Or would you not be bothered. Asking for friend.

I’d be concerned, it will be a far harsher journey for a 14 year old becoming a mother.
My friend had her baby at 16 and she was a terrible mother, and she had the full support of her mother and a wonderful house given to her. She must have felt like it stopped her living her life (even though her mum had her the baby most of the time) because even now at 30 she acts like a childless teenager.
That said, I was pregnant at 19 and felt like I missed out on nothing. In fact it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I guess in the end it just depends on the person, but regardless of that 14 is still an age where a lot of support and encouragement would be needed

It really wouldnt bother me at all. Why would it matter ??!
I would hope that itbwasnt the result of abuse/rape but that’s as far as my thought process would go why on earth would you even think about avoiding them ?

I would think crikey that's a difficult path. I'd wonder if they had checked their options and whether they had any adult help or support at all?

But for every success story like your friend's, Whatdoilady, there are probably countless stories of those whose lives are drastically changed for the worse, and the baby is severely disadvantaged also.
Imagine your childhood stopping at 14 .

I’d feel sorry for her. I have a relative who had her first at 15. She had her seventh child when she was 22 and was a grandmother at 31, It doesn’t look like much of a life to me really, but we are all different, she probably thinks I’m mad for just having one child when I was an old glimmer of 32.

I can't see myself being friends with a 14 year old, but an adult who had her 1st baby at 14 is not an isssue for me at all.

In fact I know a woman who had her son just after her 15th birthday, had a lot of help from both families, the father was the same age, and now, 10 years on, are great parents with a perfectly normal family set-up.

I would be curious, and also impressed how they managed to bring up a child and also finish their education. I found it hard enough bring a first time parent in my 20’s

Imagine your childhood stopping at 14 This happens to many people, myself included, through no fault of their own. My parents were alcoholics and I worked and shouldered more responsibility than I should have from 13 years old.

Not everyone gets a lovely, carefree adolescence, that's just life.

I would mainly be worried about her ability to cope. On the positive side, she would still be young when the child was grown up and all being well the child would have their mother's support for a long time in adulthood - and potentially she would be able to be a young and active grandparent, even if her child didn't have children particularly young.

Well rape would not be my first thought (as it was for some posters).

It would make me think of my great granny who had my grandpa at 14. Different times obviously but she got on with the it. She always said the father was a soldier and 5 years later she married a soldier and had 4 more kids. She took laundry, she nursed older people she made clothes. Basically as a young girl she showed more backbone and fortitude than I ever will. There’s a strong dynasty come from that young girl. I only knew her as a old lady who spoke her mind and was revered.
What I’m saying is who you are at 14 shouldn’t dictate who you are forever.

Would be curious as to why she didn’t have a termination

I'd probably think she was brave to be honest. Don't go worrying about what other people think!

Well I mean I would assume that they were either anti-abortion, possibly a very devout Christian, crazy about babies or, just a bit stupid. In itself I wouldn't consider teenaged pregnancy a reason to give someone e a wide berth.

Sorry, Toasty . But bringing up an actual child of your own when you're still a child yourself must be something else again?
I can't believe it always ends well. For both children.

I'm horrified that so many people know people who had babies at 13/14.

What the fuck is going on?

I'd think it's a misdirection of a young life. That a lot of that girls opportunity's are lost, clubbing with friend, traveling, dating, all those things she'll never experience as a single adult.

But it's not my place to think ewww, why does the girl get judged not the father.

Also my answer was for the question of someone having a baby at 14. Not being pregnant. I know how I would advise my child if they came home at 14 and pregnant. Big difference if the child already exists.

I'd assume they'd been abused. No I wouldn't give them a wide berth.

As long as she is a good parent who are we to judge. I can't say I'd be friends with her but only because I'm in my 30's but I certainly wouldn't go out my way to avoid her.

One of my friends had her first at 14.

She’s an inspiration actually, for the things she’s gone on to do with her life as well as being a fantastic mother.

If my friend's dd or my dd's friend was pregnant (she is 13) so end of the year for us...I would be supportive of course, I would not think 'badly' of her. In my view she will need all the support and love she can get, so we would help as much as we could.

I suppose I would judge but not in an immediate direction if that makes sense. I'd assume possible abuse, bad parenting, bad luck... I'd probably want to know more out of sheer noseyness if I'm honest.

So really to answer your question I guess it depends on the reason for the question. If its to ascertain if you'd want your DD hanging around with her then possibly I would say NO as whilst I would feel sorry for the girl and wouldn't necessarily blame her (if it was abuse or may other reasons), it would appear that her lifestyle and/or social group (possibly through no fault of her own) may not be one I wanted my DD to be a part of.

It's sad but protecting my DD from that would be my first thought.

However if you are asking from another angle, then my answer may vary with regards to how I would respond/judge. Either way the girl should have support from family and authorities.