To have separate finances...

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

Basically me and my DP have been together 14 years and have 2 DC
Since my DS was born I asked my DP that we keep our finances separate as I like to be independent. We pay for our own stuff and anything regarding kids we go half and half, same if we share something. He tries to pay for more but I won’t let him. He works a lot so subsequently earns a huge bit more than me, as I only work 20/25 hours per week. It just means for my birthday and Christmas he spends like 3 times on me what I spend on him which makes me feel bad as I can’t afford as much.
One of the guys I work with who’s been with his DP for roughly same amount of time and also has 2 dc thinks this is strange. Him and his mrs share all thier money.
I can’t be the only one to do this right?

There’s only been a few instances where I have not been able to afford to participate

Sorry but this is just mind-boggling. You would want to go. Your kids would like you to join them. Your husband would like you to join them. As a family, you can afford it.
But you refuse to go and sit at home, because of your independence and all?

I consider it my right to have access to every penny my dh earns and vice versa.

Sorry, it's a little funny hearing that you allowed DP to pay for Disneyland as opposed to actually feeling some level of gratitude for a great idea and him putting in the effort to save up for it

Actually I would be quite pissed off if we were planning a nice family activity or day out, and DH then declared that he is not coming as he can't afford it and I'm not allowed to pay either.

@g5000
I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer. The pre arranged trips aren’t the issue. It’s when he wakes up in the morning and declares we are going to (so and so) place. I like to plan my money out.

Separate accounts are fine but personally how you manage it isn’t. I don’t understand the concept of ‘I’m an independent woman so I will sacrifice working to look after the child I had with a man, while his savings and pension grows mine will stagnate as I don’t expect my life partner and child’s father to recognise the enormous contribution I make to our family’. To me all I hear is ‘I’m a doormat who thinks I have to manage everything on my own and let my dh accumulate great savings and pension because I gave birth to our child’ the ops dh sounds sensible but I just don’t understand this attitude in otherwise smart women. I’m an independent and capable woman, I spend my dhs money freely (within budget of course) whether I’m on mat leave or not.

There’s only been a few instances where I have not been able to afford to participate
I cannot even begin to comprehend this in a family situation, whether that be planned trips or spur of the moment. As a family, there should never be a situation where one person can't afford to be part of the trip!

KERALA1 made an excellent post at 08:13:05

It really should not matter. If you as a family can afford it, you should not be depriving the others of doing stuff as a family because you're so proud and independent.
Yes to KERALA's post.