So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

[Tootsings]

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me?

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

Yes I have read the thread and obviously I was reading between the lines but there is so much MIL bashing on mumsnet I just find it really sad.

Otis That's beautiful! Oh my goodness

Looking to do things? I must have done all the baby stuff a bit wrong.

Posted too soon!
There are plenty of heart swelling moments to come OP! Even when he's breaking your heart
Soak it up... And definitely relax on the ironing

I feel that way about my son, just like I felt that way about my daughter before him. I love them sooo much it hurts (even though they're mouthy teens now and will bugger off to live their own lives soon).

Their outer clothes are still never ironed though, never mind their vests

I'm besotted by my 2 DSs too (3yr and 16months). At the moment DS1 says he's going to stay with me forever.

When I think of the future I do feel a bit sad I won't be their world forever. I think about them meeting someone and hope to God they are family friendly and are willing to share them (some of the MIL threads on here make me feel sad). I also feel anger boil at the very thought of someone they love treating them badly. I just hope they meet nice men/women who make them happy and don't resent them having a relationship with me and dh.

Enjoy the love

Spark definitely not. I'm a rare one, and not in a good way. I don't tend to find much common ground with anyone these days. My own fault!

You have a baby! There's loads of people you have common ground with now surely? Other people with 4 month old babies.

If you start early then the school gates thing is a little easier I found.

I don't think my mum had any mouthy teen scenarios with me, I was very idyllic and lovely... Until I became pregnant in my late teens so really not that idyllic at all

All swings and roundabouts, as they say, eh?

I'm the same op, my boys are 3.5 and 2 and the thought of them leaving me 😭😭😭 can totally relate to my mother in law now, my husband is 30 and still her baby!

I am obsessed but I can admit it, as can you l, so we're fine 😝 we probably won't be saying this during the teenage years!!

Spark I think the reason I seem to do a lot of crazy and probably pointless shite is because I'm so well rested. Most other mums I meet aren't and so far have resented me for it! I haven't bragged, they've asked and I've told... won't make that mistake again.

Shall stick to my ironing pile and daytime telly

I laughed when l saw the boy‘s age. I have 4 sons, all kind of adults, and l don’t feel that way. I don’t know how l‘d feel if there was a reason to dislike an actual partner but so far l’ve had no cause to complain.

Well, not wanting to derail a ‘nice’ thread, although in all honesty I’m finding it a bit sinister, but as a previous poster has touched on, be careful what you wish for.

You would not actually ever want your children with you forever.

I also find it a bit sad that the fixation with success seems to be with adult relationships.

noname my MIL is a very practical and level headed woman. I once asked, in emotional wonder, how she felt about giving her baby to me, for me to marry.

She said "Get him off my hands girl, for the sake of all things Holy"

OP - have you read the thread (I think in Classics) about the things that MNers did for their PFBs that make them look back and cringe? (My favourite is eating the bubbles from the baby bath to check that they were indeed non-toxic )

You might like a little perusal

Though how on earth do you find time to iron his vests?!

My DS is 19 months now and I still feel a bit like this about him for the first 6 months after he was born I practically cried every time I thought about how lucky I was to have him. I have a 5yo DD too and I adore her beyond reason, but DS is my special baby boy. It has eased off slightly with the onset of the tantrum phase, but I am still totally besotted with him! I wish he could always stay little and I could always be the centre of his whole little baby world...I know it’s impossible and I will have to let him go, but oh, how I wish.

Incidentally, I love my MIL and she loves me back - she is a legend, an amazing mum, MIL and grandma, and we get on fantastically. I hope I’m as good a MIL as she is one day - I like to think I’m a pretty good DIL as well

Oh but I don’t do any ironing, ever, and haven’t since long before I ever had kids! Better things to do with my time tbh - I do like hanging all their little dinky clothes up to dry though ❤️

Don't listen to all the posters talking about horrible teens. They don't become any less precious. Mine is 6ft, hairy and sometimes smelly. He is still my absolute pride and joy.

Just in case anyone misinterprets my earlier post! There was a time when I couldn’t even begin to imagine the day I’d let him walk to school on his own, but as he grew and developed he became his own independent person, with his own thoughts and opinions that are sometimes different to mine. At 16 now, I can see that the time is drawing near when he will leave us to pursue his own ambitions. That’s nature taking its course. I still think he’s a marvel in every way but I’m over the fear that he’d be lost and vulnerable without me. It’s great to make the most of every stage.

The way you feel about your boy sounds fine to me but i am very concerned for ANYONE who irons baby vests

Have another child. You will marvel again at how awesome and individual they are. My DD is wild, head strong, demanding and unique. My DS is caring, funny, cuddly and stupidly bright. I can see why children lol

However I would never ever iron a baby vest or indeed my kids clothes

I think it's something to do with some mothers and their sons. I have a mad aunt like this who sobbed and begged her 23 year old son not to move out and insists on face timing him every day. He has now emigrated and told me her suffocation was the reason! He openly admits to screening her calls. My MIL is obsessed with DH, obsessed. She would marry him if she could. It drives him nuts. She cries a lot and was devastated when he put me down as the sole beneficiary of his pension.

A friend of mine actually learned to play football so she could "be her son's best friend" (she meant "only" friend). Hopefully it's just hormones with you OP but I would encourage a healthy relationship as he gets older or you risk being pushed out in the cold. Men tend to prioritise their romantic relationships over family when pushed.

Erm, what about your husband? You know, the one that's supposed to be the man of your life? The one you can actually fuck?

What the hell?