So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

[Tootsings]

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me?

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

I was a bit like that 8 years ago Wait till he grows up a bit , they are all lovely at 4 months . Tantrums , door slamming, throwing things , never listening , answering back , nagging to do homework , won’t go to bed , won’t get out of bed, oh the list goes on ! I haven’t got to the teenage years , I maybe in therapy then !

You are right to be besotted. Just enjoy this new experience and know that it’s normal to feel completely in love.
I feel the same way about our son I’m crazy about him and enjoy every moment but at 12 years old he has more freedom and I know he’ll be independent etc.
I just enjoy and love him so much but it doesn’t mean it’s an unhealthy love. One day he’ll fly the nest knowing how much he is loved.

let's just say, once ds is at the smelly teen not stage full of attitude and thinking the world owe' s him, you'll not only be surprised that somebody wants to take him off your hands but extremely glad!!

joking aside, they are always about, always mums boys.

I think that's pretty sweet and I think many new mums feel to same or similar to a degree. You're little one is loved and you should both enjoy that. I can't say I understand about him going and loving someone else but again I think a lot of mums fear their child not needing them one day and that fear manifests itself in lots of ways. Btw I used to set alarms to wake myself up in the night to check in my little one when she went into her own room. It passed and I don't any more. I still iron her vests though and she's not far off 3

Yeah, you'll get over it. It's just the hormones talking. When my daughter was 4 months old, I was convinced I wanted another baby, straight away....... She's nearly 8 now 😂

Normal at this age. You will always love him more than anyone else, but not so obsessively!
And if you have another one, you'll find that the love just grows!
Enjoy your baby.

You'll soon get a grip in a year or two when he starts to develop a will and think for himself. At 4 months old it's easy and you are still at the newborn stage. But he takes everything in and if you spoil him like this now you are creating a rod for your own back. I seriously didn't know that people have time to iron underwear.
Respect to you though that you can see it and admit it as this is the first step in getting help. Going forward, you could find it difficult to maintain friendships if you are super obsessed with him all of the time.
Seriously think about a sibling for him to be born when he's around 2 years old - children who have been the sole focus of attention become extremely jealous if they are older than 3 when a new sibling comes along. I think the age gap for you will be crucial here.

Some of us can't have more than one child. Thanks for all of you who are making us feel like shit saying how awful it is to have an only child.

I adore my DIL's..... they relieved me of cleaning up behind 3 adult boys!

kevinkeeganlovesme I feel the same

I look forward to the day when some clearly deranged woman has to put up, oops I mean love, one of my sons. I love them, but despite my clearly excellent parenting 😂 they can't flush toilets, turn off lights or tidy to my (terrible) standards. Good luck future partners and erm... don't worry about visiting too much 😆😆😆😆

You're a new mum, and you love your child. Don't be hard on yourself these strong feelings are very difficult to cope with. Enjoy your baby, it's nature's way right now of keeping you going with sleep deprivation, societal pressures etc. You sound a fab mum but look after yourself and try to build a support network to help support you.

I think you're in for a huuuuuge shock op! In about 18 months time

My MIL makes my life so difficult. She is obsessed with my husband (calls every day, came on holiday with us after we got married and got a room next door, lies about me, is generally rude...). I would hate to be like OP or my MIL. However, just because I don't feel like I own my son and don't get jealous at the thought of him falling in love one day, doesn't mean I don't love him as much as OP.

I hope OP changes these feelings one day. I find women who obsess over their adult sons are kind of creepy. I want my son to have a wonderful partner in the future and want him to be happy. I cannot compete with his future partner because the type of love is different. He will love us both differently.

I was horrified to hear someone's story about their MIL looking them in the eye whilst saying, "NO ONE LOVES HIM LIKE ME!" How can you say that when marital love is completely different - it's intimate and can be equally strong as maternal love. I wouldn't want to take that away from my son. I'm not Christian, but there's a quote in the bible that says, "a man will leave his mother and father to be united with his wife and they will become one flesh." This is normal and such a happy thing to celebrate.

OP, I must say, it does not enhance your baby's life in any way shape or form if his vests are ironed. You're doing a great job. Do not beat yourself up. I sympathise if this is a post natal feeling, but I do hope it changes when he is an adult.

Op, you iron a 4 month olds vests???? For that alone you’re are insane!

Enjoy it whilst it lasts! I really do miss the baby stage

This is normal. You are still hormonal and your mama bear emotions are taking over. Your DS is still so young so this feeling is new for you. After a while it will settle down.

Totally normal, I am also one of those mums. There isn't a woman alive who loves her children more than me....hear my mama bear ROAAAARRRRR

Have at least another 3 babies. When your 4th is crawling he/she will be eating out of the dog/cat bowl in yesterday's baby grow with stains down it, and you won't care. By then you will be grateful if all of you actually survived the day without incident, and if you managed to find and wear a clean bra, triple bonus. Yes the first has all the love and attention, every moment of their life captured on film, the 4th will be lucky if you remember their name. By then any of them will be lucky if you remember their names. It will give them vital survival skills. It will mean you won't be one of "those" mums. You'll be the mum who wears brown because it's the colour of pooh, and you will have toast and cheerios in your cleavage. You won't have time to be overbearing or controlling. You will still love them though, with all your being, and you will weep over how wonderful they are on the rare occasion that you have a glass of wine. But you won't have the energy to be one of "those" mums.

Disclaimer* I only caught one eating out of the dog bowl once - not like that was where dinner was served or anything.

OP, I was thinking about this thread and wanted to tell you about my Friday. I am the mother of the alpaca, and he has a younger sister, who is 14. Actually, we are very lucky to have her, because she Knows Everything which, obviously, is always nice

I had had a long day at work, and DH was away for the weekend. I was sitting on the sofa at 9pm thinking I really should get something to eat (usually DH makes Friday supper). The Queen of Instagram offered to make me some avocado toast (it’s what hipsters eat ), and the Alpaca asked if I wanted a glass of wine. Literally 5 mins later I was sitting in the kitchen while my lovely daughter made me something nice to eat and my lovely son got me a glass of wine. They had just put the shopping delivery away between them. They were funny, and chatty, and opinionated, and thoughtful and just lovely. I’ll be honest, it’s not always like this, particularly not at the same time, but when it is, it’s like a rainbow.

So love your 4 month old because they need you to love them totally at that age. But look forward to every step to come because there are some real treats in store (7 is particularly lovely, trust me).

I laughed at the poster up thread who said going out shopping with their DC was like being held upside down and shaken till their money all rolled out. Going out shopping with DD is like being marched to a cashpoint by a charming bank robber with a gun in the small of your back demanding you enter your PIN...

I remember feeling like this about my son. We lived by an elderly man & I cried that I wouldn't be there to look after him when he was an old man! You'll always love him -& other babies, but it does get easier.

As lighthearted as much of this is, please please in the coming years realise he's a person in himself. My ex's DM being one of "those" mothers is the reason my son will probably never know his father.

You must be hormonal or depressed as you have an obsession with your 4 month old D'S. Great he is loved but you are almost living his life for him already. Whoever he chooses, assuming he does, will be in for a hard time. Lighten up.

All made a lot more sense once I heard he is only four months old. Trust me - once he is a teenager, all of this will be forgotten.