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Original poster

So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

380 replies

Tootsings · 22/02/2018 21:57

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself Blush

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love Angry

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me? Blush

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

OP posts:
Quaza · 22/02/2018 23:28

Don’t worry its your hormones! 🤪.

My kids are adults and I still think they are wonderful and amazing but I’m very happy they have left home and have partners. They are all happy and that makes me happy. It just feels right. I couldn’t imagine being apart from them when they were little but 'Mother Nature' is very clever and as they mature and your relationship with them matures and changes too.
My advice is to not worry about the future but to enjoy the here and now.

Quaza · 22/02/2018 23:31

BTW Don’t iron your kids vests. If you have free time then it’s better for your son if you spend it doing something that you enjoy for yourself.

SleepingInNewYork · 22/02/2018 23:36

I was obsessed with DD at that age. Once she entered the stage of tantrums, I think it helped me to adjust to the fact that maybe she would find someone else to love and be loved by (although she is still banned from leaving home and moving away Grin).

CauliflowerBalti · 22/02/2018 23:38

It's your hormones. You're fine.

I used to get up early to boil some water, infuse a chamomile teabag in it, add a drop or two of lavender oil and tea tree oil into it, then use it to wipe my precious precious boy's delicate little bot bot with organic cotton wool when I changed his nappy that day. No baby wipes for my prince.

He's 9 now. I threw a bag of Mattesons Southern Fried Chicken bites at him for breakfast this morning as we were running horrifically late.

You'll find your level.

ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 22/02/2018 23:39

My lovely MIL still irons DH's underwear when we visit (we stsy for a week or 2 a couple of times a year). It's one of those little things that only she does for him. You keep ironing those little vests OP.

Foggymist · 22/02/2018 23:42

Just wait until he's 2.5 and telling Daddy "I don't want Mommy, I don't like Mommy, I want you". The toddler stage is...an experience!!

coldcanary · 22/02/2018 23:52

I second the PFB thread in classics, you’ll feel totally rational by the end of it!
My example - I once spent an entire night awake waiting for DS’s next feed and just looking at him just in case I was minutes late and he got too hungry/dehydrated because I was asleep. I actually woke him up on the dot for his next feed then couldn’t get him back to sleep afterwards 🙄 Never made that mistake again!
The intensity will wear off into something much more comfortable at some point and you’ll feel better for it to be totally honest. Try and get some decent time with your partner or friends or just some time to do something frivolous for yourself!
I’ve got 3, oldest is now a young adult and I love them all dearly but it’s our job to equip them to make their own lives and make the right choices.

Original poster
Tootsings · 22/02/2018 23:53

Erm, what about your husband? You know, the one that's supposed to be the man of your life? The one you can actually fuck?

I wasn't expecting such a drastic turn of events to my thread! But since there is one, I can assure you he also has his clothes ironed Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Tootsings · 22/02/2018 23:54

My lovely MIL still irons DH's underwear when we visit (we stsy for a week or 2 a couple of times a year). It's one of those little things that only she does for him. You keep ironing those little vests OP.

Thank you, that means a lot to me Thanks

OP posts:
Chatterbitch · 22/02/2018 23:54

OP I don't think the fact that you also iron your husband's clothes makes this less of a "thing".

Original poster
Tootsings · 22/02/2018 23:56

I shall be finding the PFB thread! Off to search now.

When DS was little, I use to roll my hands around in his fresh nappies before putting them on, to make sure nothing sharp was on them Blush

OP posts:
Ochre37 · 22/02/2018 23:56

My youngest DS tells me everyday how much he adores me, how beautiful I am, how lovely I smell, how much he misses me, enjoys my cuddles etc. He adores me and I am lapping up every single second. His eldest Dbro is full of attitude and whilst I don't love him any less, my youngest is a beautiful reminder that underneath all of the bravado is a little boy who feels things.

I don't have any jealousy when I think of them partnering off in the big wide world, and that is most likely why they have the necessary teenage years. They reject you and you let them go a bit. You'll always have your memories though.

coldcanary · 22/02/2018 23:58

Oh believe me that’s fairly amateur compared with some in that thread!
Find the baby shampoo post. That’s all I’m saying..Grin

MrsFamily · 22/02/2018 23:59

I remember sobbing my eyes out one night when DC1 (a girl) was 2 weeks old at the prospect of her growing old and being in a home on her own. Blush.

Ten years and 3 more children later, this no longer happens.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/02/2018 23:59

4 months. Awwwww, they’re just so edible!

Enjoy 💐

...the Minecraft/Slime years are the ones that test your love...truly. If I never hear those two words again it would be too soon.

coldcanary · 23/02/2018 00:08

I actually think I hit peak child tonight - DC2 and her friend (both 13) shrieking at each other as though they were several streets away from each other while in the same room and sat about 6 inches apart. Sometimes being hearing impaired is a bonus..

SukiPutTheEarlGreyOn · 23/02/2018 00:08

Don't worry, nature invented the teen years to test nurturing instincts to the limit. By the time the mysterious he/she from the vid appears in ds's life, you'll be stuffing his stinky socks into a rucksack and waving him off with a less heavy heart than you can ever imagine right now. Doesn't mean he won't always be your beloved baby though. Flowers

GinnyLovesGin · 23/02/2018 00:27

How nice.

My three year old told me that she doesn’t like me today. My crime was asking her to sit down and eat her dinner.

TwoShades1 · 23/02/2018 00:29

Given his age I think you have quite a few years to get a grip. If you don’t, then yes you will be one of those MIL. fortunately my mil is pretty good, she seems to have transferred most of her mothering to their dog and lets her adult sons have normal relationships without interference.

BertrandRussell · 23/02/2018 00:34

My ds is 17, and I worship the ground he walks on too! He humors me. Grin

Tortycat · 23/02/2018 00:49

I still feel like that and pfb is now 3.5. Never iron anything though!! I'm dreading him going to school. A psychoanalyst colleague once said that parenting is a continual process of loss as they grow away from you - used to think that was bollocks but now i have dc it's very true. Lying next to dc2 now hearing him fart in his sleep and he's so cute!

nursy1 · 23/02/2018 01:16

He is 4 months old!
Honestly it’s normal at this age. I have a strong memory of looking at my firstborn daughter and think how incredibly lucky I was to have the most beautiful, talented and intelligent ( I could tell by the way she waved her arms). baby in the whole ward
The fierce love you feel now will always be there to surface when needed but it will modify as he gets older and less vulnerable.

theftbyfinding · 23/02/2018 01:33

When my ds was four days old, my dm rang to check on us. I sobbed hysterically down the phone about how it was all over, if anything in life should affect him, harm him I would have to kill myself. The enormity of my love, the depth of the feeling, had hit me in a punch. She just laughed and said sagely 'ah, you've hit motherhood, if anyone warned us, we wouldn't have kids. You'll cope'. And so it goes on.

halfwitpicker · 23/02/2018 01:59

Crikey

KnitFastDieWarm · 23/02/2018 02:09

See I just find this bizarre to the extent that it makes me wonder if I don’t love my DS enough? I’d be very sad if he never loved anyone more than his mum because that would mean I’d fucked him up somehow, surely, if he wasn’t able to firm s happy adult relationship? He’s a toddler but I’ve honestly never felt like this about him in the slightest. He’s perfect and beautiful and I adore him but I love the fact he’s growing up and I feel slightly claustrophobic at the thought of him not doing so Grin
Is it just me? I’m not knocking those who do feel this way, I just can’t get my head round it at all!
^callous bitch emoticon^ Grin

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