So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

[Tootsings]

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me?

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

I was the most neurotic ridiculous mother ever with DC1. But them growing up tempers your ridiculousness, because it is inevitable they grow away from you, they become awful in teenagerousness, different problems start etc etc.

Don’t worry OP, my DS is three months old on Monday and I’m exactly the same.
I make him promise me that he’ll live with me until he’s at least 45 and love me forgever.

I realise I’m a total fruit loop but I don’t care. I adore him with every part of me.

My son is 10, and I feel exactly the same (as I also do with my teenage daughter). I get emotional about stuff like this all the time, and when I look back I am so wistful about their growing up! I am well aware I probably appear to be a bit ‘Norma Bates’, but it could be worse - I could the opposite and not like them at all 😂

Mine's nearly a teen and he still smells delicious. I felt like a bit like you OP, when ds was a baby ( and he's still my baby! ) but not about not wanting him to love another woman! I hope he finds someone nice and is happy with them.
I do still grab him for lots of snuggles, and am fierce if I think anyone has hurt him... When we watch the Goldbergs DP gives me the side eye and sniggers

Borrow my 13 year old and that feeling will soon fade 😂

I have 3 DS and finally understand my DM’s obsession with my brother. They are my everything and no one will ever be good enough for them, sad but true!!

I felt exactly the same OP (DS is 1) but then I realised ... grandchildren!!

He's only one and I'm already excited about the idea of being a grandma!

Bloody hell, he's 4 months old! OP should worship the ground he walks on (common phrase!) because he's her baby! I feel the same about DS and he's not my first, he's my second. DD is going to change the world, she'll be a scientist who cures cancer or a lawyer and then judge who makes the world a better place. My DS who is 4mths also will be rich and live with me forever. He'll fall asleep in my arms every night like he does now and I'll kiss his head and tell him he's my baby boy. Except I know he won't, it'd be weird but I love my baby and want him to be as he is now forever right now. How sad to say it's a bad thing.
Also OP you go right ahead and iron his vests. My dm died when I was 20 and when we stay with MIL DH gets his clothes out in the morning and she irons the lot for him and always does his before hers or FIL's. Boxers and all if she can get hold of them! It's a lovely thing for his DM to do, a little token of love (we never iron anything at home and she'd do mine too if I wanted- after his but before hers or FIL's). His mother loves him. She's a lovely MIL, not overbearing or anything but they're close and it makes me happy because my dm isn't here to love me anymore and that's sad. Iron your baby's vests and love him so much you feel like your heart might break, he'll be little for such a short time!

The fun of the ironing will wear off believe me, by about 5mths if I remember rightly

This is brilliant

Seriously now - there is so much unhappiness in the world - enjoy your happy hormones OP

I think your post is lovely OP, enjoy every moment. At a family meal the other night watching my grown up boys and their girlfriends DH squeezed my hand and said "we did OK didn't we"? Not that our jobs as parents are done, because they most definitely aren't, but there is a sense that we can let them go now and focus on our own lives a bit more.

I will always love them fiercely but things change and your love changes too.

tired of talking

Why is your mums obsession with her son so understandable now you have sons, genuine question?

This made me laugh 😂

AL75 Jesus! That is shocking.

I don’t know any women like that in real life, thank god, but I bet that there’s are some out there for who that is NOT a joke!

Op when DD2 was little I was scared by the intensity of my love for her! I have heard many women (including my DM and my aunt) say that son love is different to daughter love. I probs won't have another baby so no chance of experiencing it, but v curious about the difference.

OP....you sound sweet. I don't have boys, but I adored my girls and didn't want them to grow up. Now they have, I am glad 2 have gone and am now am making enquiries as to when DD3 ( almost 20), plans to leave.... I love my daughters to bits, but teenage tantrums, mess, treating the house like a hotel etc are totally designed to break the apron strings...🤣.
It will be nice for DH and I to have the house to ourselves again.
Maybe its different with boys

My Mum always says 'from the day you were born, I started to learn how to let you go'.

It's true, but not something you have to really deal with for a long time. Every day, little by little, they start to become their own person and develop into functional human beings who can live in the world successfully. That's what we all want for our children, all things being equal. In the tiny baby years the connection is very intense because we are intimately involved in every aspect of their lives. Only we know every line, fold and wrinkle and it's very special. However, they grow and learn and gradually begin to interact more with the world as well as us. The love doesn't diminish, but the obsessive intensity does. Very gradually and perfectly naturally.

You're doing great, enjoy these times. xx

I have two sons and a daughter btw. I can't say there was a difference. If anything the intensity of my love for my daughter was most great because she was my first. With my boys I already had toddler DD to deal with, plus they are twins, so maybe it's not a fair comparison.

Tootsings I feel for you I’m a seasoned Mummy take it from me, your darling little cherub is 4 months old now, I promise you by the time he’s 18 you will be actively trying to guide DS into another Man’s or Woman’s arms. 😬😬😬

Awww, OP, you do sound lovely, and crazy.

I had very mild post natal depression with dd1 (more anxiety) but still adored her. When pg again I was worried I wouldn't feel as much love for dc2, then distraught that it was dd2 and two girls would need love!

Dd2 is ten months and I am amazed at how much I love them both; how I can have so much love. I am caught between not wanting them to grow and leave me and the pride I feel when watching dd1 being so amazingly independent. The obsessivness does fade when you realise that what you are actually doing is shaping people.

People who shouldn't think an ironed vest is normal!

You are normal. It's wonderful to love your baby so intensely. Just enjoy it. Don't over-think the future, it will unfold naturally and you will adapt with it. You have beautiful times ahead. And as for not having another baby? Let time deal with that as well. You may want a brother or sister for him one day. As he grows, starts talking, becomes a little person with opinions, you will develop with him and the way you feel now will gently adapt. Really, there is nothing to worry about.

good post Ellyess

Our son turned 14 this year and, while we adore him, he's now a 6ft rugby player bristling with testosterone and attitude

We were looking at photos of him and his sister the other day and he looked so soft and angelic before puberty hit, whereas his younger sister is (still) pretty much the same.

I think hormones do really make boys change more than girls, but I may be proved very wrong in a few years.

You will adapt though OP - they usually change so gradually that most people just go with it.

Um.. Tis normal he will meet someone one day... y r u ironing a 4 months old clothes? 😂