So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

[Tootsings]

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me?

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

I say good luck to any woman who wants to take DS off my hands - lol!!
At 4 months they’re cute, at 14 (nearly), you want to brain them.

Loved reading your posts Op. You'll always have moments throughout their lives when you feel like that.....they get you through the shitey bits

Love the smell of babies heads like fuzzy vanilla enjoy it as once they hit puberty you don’t want to be smelling any part of them.

When DS was little, I use to roll my hands around in his fresh nappies before putting them on, to make sure nothing sharp was on them

Eh isn't he still little at 4 months old?

Oh bless you OP. I'm watching DD squeaking over DGS's toes at the moment. Like any good father, I'm reminding her to store up the memories against the grunting and door slamming years.

Oh yes 4 months...you have plenty of time to get over it!!! Teething, terrible twos, tantrums, being told you are the worst mother in the world...and we haven't even hit double figures yet
However, I do think this is slightly tongue in cheek so I forgive you your insanity! (Not about the ironing though. That is weird!!)

Don't worry, it will all change when he hits the terrible 2s.

What?? 4 months????

Oh ffs get a grip.

As a stark warning - this is how my post natal depression reared it’s ugly head so just keep an eye on it OP.

Honestly I felt the same about DS1 but it wears off 😂 seriously the first time I yelled at him I was super guilty. He’s nearly 7 now and I love him but not as obsessive and the arrival of ds2 had a repeat occur but he’s 3 and shits in his pants so I’d say blinkers are off!

My aromatic teen doesn't shower anywhere near enough, but even when he does he whiffs. He gets told, but what else can I do? It would be pretty fucking weird if I manhandled him into the shower and scrubbed him clean.

Anyway, YANBU op. I was the same all those years ago

I can totally appreciate how you feel, my son is almost 6 and my most favourite person in the whole world! The thought of him preferring to spend his time with someone other than me is horrifying, and yes, I will probably be loathsomely jealous of whoever he decides to partner but hopefully I’ll be better at disguising it than most MILs!!

My mil was like you to her first son. My dh is her second son. Her ds1 is a selfish lonely man. My dh is loved and happy.

Make your choice for the benefit of your ds, not your self.

Tootsings I sort of get your adoration but will say you need a couple more kids to level out all this overwhelming love!

However, I totally get how you are at the moment with a 4 month old because I was besotted with my first DC. Then even more besotted with no. 2 and throw in a DSS into the mix and the besotedness gets a bit diluted when real life takes over!

However, they are all now adults and oh my golly good god I think I am regressing. They all live independently hours away from us and I miss them! I've just been away meeting lots of people I've never met before (a holiday) and when they've asked if I have DC my heart is absolutely bursting with pride when I talk about them, I can feel like I'm welling up, but I am so so proud of them all.

I can't say they've caused me huge problems but teenage years teach you properly how to let go, to let them fly. Now I'm at the stage where we have such fun together, they even deigned to come away with us abroad for five days last year, what a treat that was!

All I'd say is... don't build up your expectations that you will always feel like this - you won't. Life throws curve balls at you as far as parenthood but if you can let them go and know that you've done the best you can do to make them independent, teach them morals, manners and kindness to their fellow human being, you'll reap the benefits with them as adults. I feel privileged to be part of their lives, as opposed to the other way round!

Rousette what a gorgeous post. Im like you (although kids are younger) and I am rearing them as you describe - full in the knowledge i expect them to fly away and be their own people, as opposed to extensions of me, if that makes sense

Oh, 4 months - yeah, I was a bit like that with DC1 at that age. Although I had PND too so there was a whole extra level of irrationality too.

I spent an hour crying once because she would go to university and leave me. She wasn't even crawling then .

OP - over love. Me too as a) ds was the baby we were told we’d never have b) marriage broke down and so have nothing else. The minute he was born I was ‘right - time is ticking down for next 16 years’.

I relished every single moment and worked myself into the ground.

My own mother told me I should pray that DS is gay. Actually - nope - don’t care.

Ds is now in year 7 and I still love him the same but I’m glad when I can offload him to his dad’s home a bit.

Nope, not unhinged but with an only child I had the time to indulge.

Dont worry, once he hits 13 you'll change your mind!! 😂

My ds is 12 and though generally a sweet boy, he makes me wonder how so many people survive til adulthood!! 😂

You need to stop ironing his vests OP. I mean, seriously.

My dp used to put the wipes on the radiator to warm before he changed our babies' nappies!

OP, he's still brand new! I remember the overwhelming feelings of love. I still deep down think that no one can love their dc as much as I love mine. I remember my second pregnancy being ruined by panicking about what I'd done to DS1. However DD was born and I loved her just as much as DS1 - who knew?! Now I have 3 dc and can smile at new mother self back all those years ago. If you still feel like this when he's 18, get yourself some therapy

I watched that video today and thought to myself the only message I want to convey to his future love is that if she ever hurts him I'll rip her fucking head off.

Didn't post that though. It didn't seem to fit with the tone of the rest of the comments.

I used to think that . He’s 17 now and I want him to find someone who loves him when he’s older .I won’t be jealous as I want him to be happy. If she dares hurt him though ....

Thanks sosOgood

I think it's normal to feel besotted and protective when they are babies. I recently looked at some old photos of my son as a baby and thought good god he looked really quite strange and unattractive, but at the time I thought he was the most beautiful baby ever!! But as they get older your emotions can shift. My daughter is 3 and is whining and stamping her foot and even hitting me at the moment. I couldn't let her out my sight until recently, never had a night away from her. I've just applied for a full time job. I hope I get it :-)