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Original poster

To think this is unnecessarily bitchy?

521 replies

BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 17:56

Will try to keep brief!
Last Friday I went out with some work colleagues for drinks. Whilst out my colleague/friend bumped into her husband who was with his friends. I hit it off with one of the men he was with and we've been texting with an aim to meet up soon.
My colleague knew this and seemed very keen for us to meet. However yesterday colleague told me she'd seen this man I'm due to go out with as he's a mutual friend. She said quite casually ' I told mutual friend you've got 3 kids by 3 dad's and you've had a boob job'. I told her she's being bitchy and not to put ideas in this man's head. Why would you tell someone that?

OP posts:
Original poster
BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 18:20

Yes it is true. However I don't see why it's her place to tell him anything about me. She knows how it will be perceived.

OP posts:
SundaySalon · 22/02/2018 18:21

Yeah fair enough, I can see that.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 18:22

And it's not an obvious boob job either

OP posts:
Winteriscoming18 · 22/02/2018 18:23

Tbh I don’t think what rollonbath said was wrong especially if it’s true.

sirlee66 · 22/02/2018 18:23

Perhaps she told him because he might not be okay with that and it's better for him to show his true colours now than for him to leave you high and dry down the line? So friend was looking out for you?

NataliaOsipova · 22/02/2018 18:24

However I don't see why it's her place to tell him anything about me.

I agree. Or, at least, if she's a friend of both of you and he's asked (reasonably), "Tell me a bit about Bears", then it's a bloody bitchy way to do so. A friend might refer to your three children - arguably, it'd be odd not to - but their paternity is irrelevant and, as you say, seems to have been intended to make you look bad. Not kind. Not the actions of a friend.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 18:25

I told her that was unnecessary and although I'm not ashamed of anything in my life I chose what to tell people and when.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/02/2018 18:26

She's trying to ruin things for you. Cut her out of your life she can't really like you if she says those things can she?

Bluntness100 · 22/02/2018 18:26

I cant believe someone is doing the fake big eyes and asking what's the problem. Who fathered her kids and her breasts are her business to tell people as and when she pleases. it's not for her so called friend to go telling blokes she might go on a date with.

Winteriscoming18 · 22/02/2018 18:27

It sounds like he’s asked about you and she’s been honest about. My dh knew I had ds from a past relationship and he decided to proceed with our relationship. He was very aware of the situation.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 18:27

She's a long term colleague/friend but I'll be referring to her as a colleague only from now on!

OP posts:
ExFury · 22/02/2018 18:29

That really is bitchy. Even if he asked about you and she mentioned your kids there's absolutely no need to mention their Dad's or your boob job. She's definately a colleague and not a friend op.

bakingaddict · 22/02/2018 18:30

So a women with 3 kids by 3 dads and a boob job is somebody to put on the dangerous list now 'of people to watch out for'. Never mind the news has been littered with aid relief scandals, Brendan Cox, convictions of sadistic and predatory paedophiles, people like rolltopbath thinks poor wee men need protecting against predatory woman with false boobs. Marvellous!

theftbyfinding · 22/02/2018 18:31

Maybe she was trying to show him you've been unlucky in relationships a few times by mentioning the kids/dads? As in, treat her nice, she's met a few losers? Trying to look on the positive here although tbh, I don't think she's much of a friend either.

DeathStare · 22/02/2018 18:31

However I don't see why it's her place to tell him anything about me

I agree. What you choose to share with him, and when is up to you. And yes it's bitchy that those were the things she chose - not because there is anything wrong with those things, but because they are quite personal things and because she knows how they could be perceived (by judgmental people).

If he'd said to her "tell me more about BearsandHearts" she could easily have said "oh.... she grew up in X town, loves 80s music and hates Chinese food" (or whatever). TBH those things would probably have been helpful to him in terms of providing him with something to talk to you about.

Greenglassteacup · 22/02/2018 18:32

Rolltopbath is going to be one of the horrendous mother in laws I read about on here!!

Lashalicious · 22/02/2018 18:32

Op, she is not your friend by any stretch of the imagination. She on purpose told him those things to make you look bad, to cut you down. She is a bitch. She resents you, probably because you are attractive to men and she isn’t. There’s a reason she did this, it wasn’t “casual” and there was no reason for her to tell him things like that. Did she also include facts about you that put you in a good light? No, she didn’t. What a bitch! You will know to stay away from catty, stab you in the back, women like her. I hope you go out with the guy and he realizes what an awful person this colleague is.

Fwend · 22/02/2018 18:33

Jesus, RollTopBath is one nightmare MIL of the future in the making there. Let's hope her sons don't fall in love with anyone with life experience, eh?

OP: she's jealous of you, and your probably perky boobs.

Antigonads · 22/02/2018 18:34

She is nit your friend.

I may have told him. But not told you.

AgnesBrownsCat · 22/02/2018 18:34

It’s bitchy but honest . The boob part is irrelevant though . I wouldn’t want to date a man with three children with three different men so I think sharing that part is fair enough.

imnottoofussed · 22/02/2018 18:36

I agree with Agnes. I'd want a friend to tell me if I was about to start meeting up with a man with three kids by three different women. It's a headache I wouldn't want unless I really thought I might like the person in which case I'd see how it goes. If I wasn't really into the other person I'd rather be warned off before I got into anything complicated.

bobstersmum · 22/02/2018 18:37

She sounds like a complete cow, obviously if the guy decides he likes you enough to start a relationship with you he'd find out about everything anyway, she was out of order to say. Does she fancy this guy perhaps? I know she's married but still..

Birdsgottafly · 22/02/2018 18:38

A very similar thread has been posted before and posters agreed that she was out of order unless she was specifically asked.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 18:39

My life isn't complicated though! She's made me out to be some nightmare I bet

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 22/02/2018 18:39

Agnes could a man have three children with three different men? How does that work?

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