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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is unnecessarily bitchy?

521 replies

BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 17:56

Will try to keep brief!
Last Friday I went out with some work colleagues for drinks. Whilst out my colleague/friend bumped into her husband who was with his friends. I hit it off with one of the men he was with and we've been texting with an aim to meet up soon.
My colleague knew this and seemed very keen for us to meet. However yesterday colleague told me she'd seen this man I'm due to go out with as he's a mutual friend. She said quite casually ' I told mutual friend you've got 3 kids by 3 dad's and you've had a boob job'. I told her she's being bitchy and not to put ideas in this man's head. Why would you tell someone that?

OP posts:
Peekaboo3 · 22/02/2018 19:42

@adviceplease360

Peekaboo read the thread, you need to report nitro if you're so offended.

@adviceplease360 And YOU need to bold other peoples comments then! And not make them look like they're yours!

And yes I HAVE reported it. And yours too, seeing as how you made it look as if YOU had posted the comments!!!

Not everyone reads the full thread. So you need to bold other peoples comments, and (preferably) let people know who posted what you're quoting!

DeathStare · 22/02/2018 19:43

It’s not that private to be fair - the op has told work colleagues. I can see why the kids thing would come up on co versariokn bur not the boob job

Because they've worked together for years and she told a colleague she thought was a friend. Maybe she was working with the colleague when she actually had the operation.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 19:44

Is the bold thing a rule? I didn’t know that.

Shalva1970 · 22/02/2018 19:44

NataliaOsipova

I’d warn a friend about you. You sound tacky & a bit of a slut.

Bloody hell! You don't know anything about her!

I have a friend; she had a baby at university when she was 19. She then got married and had another child, but sadly her DH died of cancer in his early 30s. She then remarried in her late 30s; her new DH didn't have kids of his own, so she agreed to try for one more. She therefore has three kids by three different fathers, but is very far from being either "tacky" or a "slut".....
This
There’s so many possible scenarios.
She was being bitchy.
I’m curious as to your scenario though.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 19:45

Is she a friend. Or a colleague?

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 19:48

I would have called her a friend but no more

OP posts:
Peekaboo3 · 22/02/2018 19:48

Is the bold thing a rule? I didn’t know that.

Yes. Albeit an unwritten one.

And it's common sense. Otherwise how is anyone meant to know it's not you saying it? As I said, not everyone reads the full thread.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2018 19:48

I think he may have asked her for more information and she gave it. I'd run a mile from a man who had 3 kids by 3 different women, personally. Lots of hypocrisy on this thread because a man who'd posted he had 3 kids by 3 different days and didn't tell a woman he dated that would be roasted. We don't know if it were done in a bitchy fashion, only the colleague and the man were there for the conversation.

YearOfYouRemember · 22/02/2018 19:49

BearsandHearts - I hope you have a nice date with this man.

Some of this comments on here are disgusting. Some posters should be ashamed of themselves. I'm certainly embarrassed for them.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 19:50

I thought reading the whole thread was a rule to be honest. I’ve always tried to read the whole thing even when it’s long.

iklboo · 22/02/2018 19:51

You're both as vile as each other. You should be ashamed of yourselves, talking to another woman, like she's something under your shoe.

Where has the OP talked the woman like she's 'something under her shoe'?

SouthernComforts · 22/02/2018 19:52

This reply has been deleted

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Beeziekn33ze · 22/02/2018 19:52

Bears - enjoy your date. I'm sure you and the guy wil get to know each other in your own good time if you get on well.
Interesting that your (ex)friend felt she had to warn him about you! She's either jealous or just a real spiteful beeatch! At least you've seen her true colours now.
As for the posters who say they'd do the same and are judging you - well, we now know who these narrow minded morality police are!

Desmondo2016 · 22/02/2018 19:53

The odd thing is telling you she told him! That's the bitchy bit. If he's a friend of hers then she hasn't got any more loyalty to you than him and whilst her comments were obviously bitchy it's pretty standard gossipy behaviour to be honest. If what she said was true then I wouldn't see that she had gone out of her way to sabotage your chances.

Peekaboo3 · 22/02/2018 19:53

I thought reading the whole thread was a rule to be honest.

Nope.

It's not.

HonkyWonkWoman · 22/02/2018 19:53

BearsandHearts, I posted earlier stating that imo your friend is a bitch.
I would forget it now, the guy has made arrangements to meet, any way.
Just go and enjoy yourself! He could be a great guy!
Good luck Bears!

JacintaJones · 22/02/2018 19:54

Men care much less than women about these kinds of things in my experience.

So your friend probably intended to bring you down a peg or two in his estimation whereas it probably went right over his head.

Other women will still want to slut shame you though, obviously.

ilovegin112 · 22/02/2018 19:54

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be happy if my friends let me date a man who has 3 kids by 3 mothers without telling me, as awful as it sounds I wouldn’t touch the man with a barge pole, the boob thing is nobody’s business but op’s

Mixingitall · 22/02/2018 19:55

Have a great date tomorrow and try to forget about her comments, they’re in the past now. I am also in my late thirties with 2 small children and don’t have time for people who don’t have my back or feel the need to belittle others. Life is too short to be around toxic people. Live and let live and be happy, try not to allow her words turn in to a drama, be the better person, have a fabulous date and don’t tell her anything personal, transition her in to a colleague.

Peekaboo3 · 22/02/2018 19:58

Ignore Nitro. Most of her comments on other threads are rude and unpleasant too.

@sugarpiehoneyeye

You're both as vile as each other. You should be ashamed of yourselves, talking to another woman, like she's something under your shoe.

WTF? The OP has said nothing like that!

DeathStare · 22/02/2018 19:58

Lots of hypocrisy on this thread because a man who'd posted he had 3 kids by 3 different days and didn't tell a woman he dated that would be roasted

They haven't even been on a date yet. I don't think a man would be roasted for not telling a woman who he hasn't been on a date with . I think if the relationship was getting serious and he said he intended to keep it from her, he'd be roasted. But this isn't getting serious yet, and the OP never said she planned on keeping it from him if it did get serious. She just wanted to be the one to decide what personal information people get to know about her and when. Don't we all want that?

rightknockered · 22/02/2018 20:02

Gosh, what does it matter if someone has 3 children by 3 different co-parents, what ever the gender? As long as the person is a good parent, it doesn't really matter. So what if you have had a boob job, OP? Lots of men and women have procedures done these days. Your friend is a fool, a bitchy fool.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 22/02/2018 20:02

If he is a nice person and he genuinely likes you it won't bother him OP.

Your colleague is a bit of a bitch for telling you that she told him. She has issues. Rise above it.

Hope the date goes well Smile

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 20:04

I wouldn’t want to waste my time dating someone with kids younger then mine and I’d prefer to know before hand.

I do think a man with 3 kids by 3 women would get roasted. ESP if he’d spent thousands on tattoos, for eg. He’d be told that money should have gone to his kids

expatinscotland · 22/02/2018 20:09

'If he is a nice person and he genuinely likes you it won't bother him OP.'

It's entirely possible to be a very nice person and like another person and not date them or even want to date them because you feel they have too much baggage you don't feel prepared to take on or you know you're not able to.