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Original poster

To think this is unnecessarily bitchy?

521 replies

BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 17:56

Will try to keep brief!
Last Friday I went out with some work colleagues for drinks. Whilst out my colleague/friend bumped into her husband who was with his friends. I hit it off with one of the men he was with and we've been texting with an aim to meet up soon.
My colleague knew this and seemed very keen for us to meet. However yesterday colleague told me she'd seen this man I'm due to go out with as he's a mutual friend. She said quite casually ' I told mutual friend you've got 3 kids by 3 dad's and you've had a boob job'. I told her she's being bitchy and not to put ideas in this man's head. Why would you tell someone that?

OP posts:
PriaMaicel · 26/02/2018 00:56

I think it just comes down to having completely different values and approaches when dating.
I personally would appreciate being warned beforehand so I could immediately cancel if I had somehow arranged to go on a date with someone who has 3 children all by different partners, 5 different sexual partners in the past 3 months and had accepted their Mum's pension to finance a boob job.
But there are plenty of men & women that couldn't care less about any of that. Neither is wrong, it's just personal preference.

I'm glad your date went well op, hopefully this is the start of a healthy, stable & long lasting relationship for you.Wink

Teutonic · 26/02/2018 07:56

Returning to the original question that the OP posed......

However many children the op has, whether its one child to one father or ten children to nineteen different fathers, it is up to her how, when and where that information is disclosed, the same applies to her boob job.
It is personal information for her and only her to disclose as and when she see's fit.
No one has the right to judge others on their choices if those choices aren't impacting on anyone else's life, much less divulge personal details of that persons life to anyone else, regardless of their thoughts and feelings on the subject.
I hope you have lovely time OP.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 26/02/2018 08:39

God, there's some seriously judgemental shit on here.

BTW, I'll be getting a lump sum on my pension when I reach that age. And I plan to spend some of it on some frivolous stuff, as the regular pension being paid after that will be plenty to live on.

I love the way that some people are acting as if OP's mum is going to starve because she paid for the boob job.

mikeyssister · 26/02/2018 10:22

5 different sexual partners in the past 3 months

I definitely missed the bit that said they were sexual.

Maybe I should take some lessons from you Bears, I haven't even had one sexual partner in months Envy

I might tell a friend you had three children - simply in the passing of information about you, ie she's tall, slim, red hair, plays tennis, has 3 kids, drives a proche etc etc (but I'm not even sure I'd do that) but only if I was trying to fix you up with each other. And I'd only do that if I liked you both and thought you'd be a good pair.

starlightafar · 26/02/2018 11:08

What's wrong with 5 in three months so long as they are safe sex, the kids aren't seeing them coming out from mum's bedroom and that it was consensual?

Busybeesbutt · 26/02/2018 11:10

This thread is horrendous. Is this woman not allowed happiness because she's got 3 kids?Are people really expecting her to feel shame and hide away?

starlightafar · 26/02/2018 11:13

Yes busy. They are. And also need to warn their friends and family about women like her.

Busybeesbutt · 26/02/2018 11:14

I feel like I'm in the 1950s reading this honestly

newcarsmell · 26/02/2018 12:08

It's funny that the person being judged and shamed and put down on this thread, is the one being calm and classy in her replies.
Saying nasty, judgemental things about people will always say more about you as a person than it will about them.

Frequency · 26/02/2018 12:24

I feel like I'm in the 1950s reading this honestly

I thought I'd fallen into the fifties too at one point but then someone mentioned work and The Tax Payer, I might be wrong but weren't women frowned upon for working in the fifties?

I now have no idea which era this thread has fallen into but it sure as shit isn't this (present day) one.

mikeyssister · 26/02/2018 12:26

I hope at no stage anyone has felt I'm judging Bears. I'm honestly not and have never.

starlightafar · 26/02/2018 12:28

mikey it doesn't sound like you did.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/02/2018 12:45

Tbh whatever era it remains the fact that women are wrong if they ever make their needs important.

whiteroseredrose · 26/02/2018 12:57

In her defence those are probably the most interesting things about you OP. Loads of people I know have interesting jobs, read books, go running, drink gin rather than vodka etc. Nobody has children from different fathers nor has had plastic surgery! If he had said 'tell me a bit about OP' it's the most unusual things that spring to mind first.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 26/02/2018 12:58

Thanks for the kind comments ladies. I'm on my lunch break replying at work just pointing that out so people aren't saying I'm sitting on my arse on benefits when intact I work 34 hours a week

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 26/02/2018 13:05

I am bears perhaps you csn win browny points as you're working to pay tax to pay for me and my son not the other way round Grin

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 26/02/2018 13:50
Grin
OP posts:
WheresTheHooferDoofer · 26/02/2018 13:54

5 different sexual partners in the past 3 months

I've had one (yes, one) in my life. And now I've left him, I'm thinking I might just want to remedy that... Grin And I'm 49, I need to get cracking Grin

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 26/02/2018 14:27

Go for it hoofer. For the record I have not had 5 sexual partners in the past 3 months. That happened after my 1st marriage ended almost 8 years ago

OP posts:
HonkyWonkWoman · 26/02/2018 14:37

Hahaha! Yes, go for it Where'sTheHooferDoofer (safe of course) and come back and give us your "score" in 3 months.😂😂😂😂

You'll give all the "pearl clutchers" an heart attack.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 26/02/2018 14:51
Grin
OP posts:
Frequency · 26/02/2018 14:55

I'm single but I don't fancy five men in three months. That's far too many men, imo. It's not the sex that's the issue, or the sex with different people it's the men. All the ones I meet are crap. One crap man is too many, never mind five Grin

I wouldn't mind a man though. Sex tends to be better when you have one man (you have enough time to train them up that way). I don't want to live with said man, speak to him much, date him or be in regular communication with him. He just has to make himself available for sex when I fancy it and then leave without a fuss. If anyone has any tips on to find such a man, I'd be grateful Wink

HonkyWonkWoman · 26/02/2018 14:57

Hahaha! Frequency - same!!!!

SleepingStandingUp · 26/02/2018 14:58

I'm sure there's a FWB option on Tinder

LadyinCement · 26/02/2018 15:02

Where on earth do people find huge numbers of spare men? Where are they? I know a lot of single women and they can't find anyone , even online.

And what about dcs at home? I can't imagine telling my dcs, "This is Brian, no - wait - it's Eric," and then the following week producing Quentin or Gareth.

I would also be afraid they would be serial killers/paedophiles/infected with multiple STDs.