To think this is unnecessarily bitchy?

[BearsandHearts]

Will try to keep brief!
Last Friday I went out with some work colleagues for drinks. Whilst out my colleague/friend bumped into her husband who was with his friends. I hit it off with one of the men he was with and we've been texting with an aim to meet up soon.
My colleague knew this and seemed very keen for us to meet. However yesterday colleague told me she'd seen this man I'm due to go out with as he's a mutual friend. She said quite casually ' I told mutual friend you've got 3 kids by 3 dad's and you've had a boob job'. I told her she's being bitchy and not to put ideas in this man's head. Why would you tell someone that?

Not that it's your business nitro but my children stay at my mother's house on a Friday night and have done for a good while therefore on a Friday I sometimes go out. I was asked out on the Friday why Not?!?

@Frequency well that just doesn't fit the narrative and justify the slut shaming and judgement.

Cos you've had enough sex for life OP, you should be praying for redemption on those Friday nights.

I'll become a nun starlight

BlackBerry my 1st child did not meet my 2nd child's father. He's only ever known my 3rd child's father who is the ex who I co parent with.

Did you grow up with a father around?
Amateur therapists are dangerous.
Why does that matter?
The only issue I have is where women decided that the new partner is going to take the role of dad of a baby which isn't his, and tell everyone except the child that he isn't really dad, but is as good as.
Some people here really do have issues, and it isn't the OP.

Blackberry, some women have very long term relationships only to find out the father of their child isn't cut out for fatherhood after the event (after all, you can't judge how a man will parent until they are a parent). It's very common. You're clutching at straws now.
I just thought it was rich of you to openly judge someone, then pump them for even more info.
I guess anyone not part of a 1950s nuclear family is chaotic to you. You must have a hard time with modern life.

Omg this thread is staggering.
It's 2018 people!
Life has moved on. Children don't work down mines. People live together without being married.
Some people are homosexual.
People don't have to stay in bad relationships.
Single mothers are not the work of the devil.
Women have sex and enjoy it.
Dating is different. It can be fun and casual.
The op seems very nice.
The colleague seems bitchy and over invested.
Did she say anything about the man?
Has he got children? Has he been married?
Or doesn't she gossip about men.

Op, I hope you have a great 2nd date. This is the most judgemental thread I have ever read.

@bearsandhearts your ears must be burning. Your life is getting picked apart on a random forum.

Your kids seem happy and live in a stable and loving home for that on a Friday night if you want to let your hair down and go on a date or sit in the house with a glass of wine it's down to you. Ignore the pearl clutchers x

Belinda he's never been married or had kids. He's had 3 long term relationships. Going by this thread I should be texting him telling him how grateful I am he's looked twice at me

@blackberryfairy
Well dad 1 she was with for 8 years and married him. That's pretty long term.

None of the kids have met him.

Dad 2 was the short relationship, the oldest might have met him,but it's also very possible he hasn't.

Dad 3 , OP has been in a friendly relationship with for years,even if their romantic relationship didn't work out.
He's the one that the kids have met and also picked up the slack from dad 1 and 2.

So the kids have a good mum,that raised them single handedly,that works and supports them,provided them with everything including a home they have been in since they were born. They met one man in her life(possibly 2 but i doubt it), a man that since they were friends they probably knew anyways,a man that stepped up and is there for them.... and that's chaotic?

Goodnight!

Bears, I hope you have a lovely time on your date.

So is your family finished OP or are you wanting to have more children?

Ooops x posted with nearly everyone.

I'm undecided nitro

I'm amazed you've got the energy to go out on dates being a single working mum of 3. I'm a single mum to a 2 yo and I'm always tired.

Be careful Bear some posters might have him marked as a weirdo, never being married!

The internalised mysogyny from female posters on this thread is astounding.

Fucking depressing.

Op, your life, your choices and your body. Glad the date went well and all the best

Peaches I have alot of support I'm lucky