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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Annoyed at unexpected vagina poke.

264 replies

BathFallout · 21/02/2018 17:08

I was in the bath with DP, nothing sexy just washing and about to watch a programme on the tablet.

As I was finding the episode DP unexpectedly poked my vagina, in surprise I aggressively splashed her in the face with water to make her back off and was annoyed at her. I told her it shocked me (as wasn't even looking in her direction so no warning) and said she had to apologise to me. I said it could be considered assault nd she replied with "Oh, Bath..." and a withering look.

She has refused to apologise, and is now in a strop as I was "horrible" to her.

AIBU to wait for an apology over this?

OP posts:

HotCrossBunFight · 22/02/2018 11:08

Would certainly be more helpful.for troll hunters to just report rather than attack the OP who is quite likely to be genuine

Owlettele · 22/02/2018 11:09

Not sure why you are getting such random replies. I agree that there should have been an apology. I would have been annoyed too but would hope dp would have apologised so we could have just moved on to rest of evening.

hairycoo · 22/02/2018 11:24

But WHY did you wrongly think it was a troll rather than a genuine OP.

If someone had posted of a m/f sexual assault, would you instantly accuse them of being a troll trolling for rape fantasies? I suspect not. So what was different in this case?

And can you please just bloody accept that trollhunting is harmful and fucking unneeded. Dont believe the OP, hit the report button and move on. Or does your ego think that potentially upsetting one genuine OP is worth it if you get to call out correctly on occasion?

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 11:27

Ffs. I’ve been deleted AGAIN when I Said I DONT THINK THE OP IS A TROLL.

WildWindsBlowing · 22/02/2018 11:34

are you on glue? man touches wife in bath..shock horror. NOT.

It's only in MN land that a spouse needs signed consent notarised and filed or its assault if they so much as look at you funny

Coconut it was not just touching. Neither was it just looking. It was poking a finger onto someone's intimate body without warning. So what you say is meaningless. It is also rude to imply the PP must be drugged to feel upset.

Qcumber · 22/02/2018 12:12

Some really disgusting replies on this thread. It's so true that the thread would have gone in a VERY different direction if your dp was a man.
I'm also in a same sex relationship and it's horrible when every little thing you do is sexualised. I can't even peck dp in public without a few men staring like we're putting on some kind of show.
Just because you don't bathe with your partner doesn't mean it's beyond the realms of possibility. Having a bath together doesn't have to be sexual at all, it can be a lovely relaxing thing to do together. But everything lesbians do is considered sexual, yes mainly by men but that view has clearly rubbed off on a lot of women.
Sorry about the replies you've had OP. For what it's worth I think she should definitely apologise (as I see she has) although I also think you overreacted a bit, but you were probably startled. No one is allowed to touch you without consent. I hope you're ok and can overlook some of the horrid things said on this thread.

RedDogsBeg · 22/02/2018 12:13

Bluedoglead you are tying yourself up in knots trying to justify your behaviour on this thread and spouting the troll hunters mantra that you are just trying to save other posters from themselves.

How many times do MNHQ have to ask for posters to report rather than troll hunt on a thread? Honestly, if other posters are stupid enough to post the kind of details about their sex lives that you thought this thread was looking for on an open forum then more fool them.

You weren't trying to be a saviour to anyone you just wanted some kind of kudos for troll spotting.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 12:15

No I just threw ught it was ridiculous and clearly fake.

I was wrong. I admitted it and apologised.

I don’t want any kind of kudos.

I don’t get why the op bothered to name change and then had all her many namechange fails to the extent it was obvious who she usually is. Why bother? I can see one name change fails but not the number she had.

Anyway, The op is long gone and I hope she and her partner got it all sorted (but AS was illuminating and I think she should ltb)

HotCrossBunFight · 22/02/2018 12:28

She probably name changes die to all the agro.

Imagine posting about something that was quite upsetting for you and have a bunch of women calling you a liar and questioning why on earth you're doing something as basic as bathing with your partner.

RedDogsBeg · 22/02/2018 12:38

BluedogleadYes you admitted you were wrong and yes you apologised but you wouldn't have needed to do that if you had just reported the thread would you? No, you stayed around on the thread in your self appointed role as saviour because you think other posters are just too stupid to be trusted to use their own brain.

Idontevencareanymore · 22/02/2018 12:44

Not read the whole thread because some of the comments are just ugh.

But op if your dp inserted their fingers into your vagina then yes she was bu and no you're not Bu.

A cheeky grope is grabbing a boob or a cheek as they walk past. Sticking a finger up the vagina is way past a cheeky grope.
Glad you got your apology and I hope the line is clear for the future.

Sweetpea55 · 22/02/2018 13:04

This is similar to the thread ' DH STARTLED ME' '

Bloody silly

LonginesPrime · 22/02/2018 14:26

What's silly, sweetpea?

iklboo · 22/02/2018 14:35

There's a big difference between being started & someone shoving their finger up your vagina apropos of nothing.

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