Broken - yes I know exactly what you mean and can see how sacrificing one's own happiness in that way can be counterproductive and not make your children happy at all. I definitely won't be holding my sacrifices against my kids and have made sure that I have not sacrificed anything that will materially affect my mental health or that will breed resentment or bitterness. However I do find some aspects hard and I think that's fine. I don't need to be happy all the time and if I gain the ultimate satisfaction that I have parented my children how I wanted to then I think I will find it all worthwhile.
Well, I truly hope that you're right, OP, and that you will find any sacrifices to have been worthwhile in the long run. Obviously, I don't really know the kind of sacrifices that you're making so it's hard to comment, but there was something about the way you worded your OP that set off alarm bells for me. Please do think carefully about whatever it is that you have given up and what that means to you, and bear in mind that feelings can change over time.
In my mum's case, her greatest regret was giving up her career to stay at home with us when we were little. I think she actually enjoyed it when we were younger, and she definitely felt that she wanted to be there for us. She was an amazing, loving, nurturing mum. However, as we got older, and we needed her less, she started to feel differently. She started to worry that her life would be empty when we left. She wanted more for herself but she didn't know how to get it. She wanted to go back to work but she had been out of it for too long and had totally lost her confidence.
She became very depressed, especially after my sister left home. She tried really hard not to let it affect us, but the more she tried to hide it, the more difficult it was for us to cope with. I felt terribly guilty for all that she had given up, and personally responsible for making her happy again. That was an impossible task, and quite a lot of pressure for a young kid. My teenage years were spent trying to boost her confidence and keep her on an even keel as best I could.
She reached crisis point when I left home as well, and I felt utterly shit about it. I thought it was my fault. Thankfully, with medical intervention, she did eventually get much better, but she has never fully recovered. Her regrets constantly come back to haunt her. She adores her family and she is an amazing mum and grandma, but I have finally realised that none of that will ever fill the gaping hole that she perceives in her life. I will never be able to understand or fathom the true depths of her regret, because she can barely bring herself to talk about it. She is a very talented and intelligent woman, and she feels acutely that she has squandered her potential, that she has wasted this one shot at life. And as she gets older, she realises more and more painfully that there is no going back. And for all I try to point out all of the things that she has contributed and achieved - as a mum, as a grandma, as a volunteer in the local community - I now understand that none of it really registers because she can only focus on the things that she could have done but didn't.
And I find that, thirty years on, I'm still trying to fix it for her and I still can't do it. It makes me desperately sad - and yes, I do still feel a little guilty. So please, consider the needs of your children first, of course, but please think very, very carefully about the long term implications of giving up stuff that really matters to you. You may not be doing your children any favours in the long run.