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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oi SAHMs over here

423 replies

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2018 15:18

Sit there - - >
And let me give you a good kicking.
It seems to be the day for it :)

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 20/02/2018 15:53

I accidentally had sex with dh for a creme egg

Please elaborate further. Did you:
A) Trip over and fall onto his erect penis while trying to grab said creme egg; or
B) Think you were having sex with him for some other confectionery reward and get stuffed with a creme egg instead (hopefully not literally)?

zzzzz · 20/02/2018 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NataliaOsipova · 20/02/2018 15:58

I'm a very high class hooker SAHM. If sex occurs for confectionery in our house, it's for Laduree macaroons. All the way. I'll do pretty much anything for a box of those. Possibly with a box of those.....😂

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 16:44

natalia

Gosh its not as exciting as 1 or 2

Dh asked if we were going to have sex that night and i said (half joking) no...and then he said what if i gave you a creme egg

So going along with what i thought was a joke i said that obviously if it was a creme egg i would definitely have sex no question...that would be an absolute given

I didn't knkw he actually had one

Plus HE WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME ANYWAY

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 16:45

THE EGG!!!

NOT SEX!!!!

zzzzz · 20/02/2018 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mustbemad17 · 20/02/2018 17:00

Rufus you most definitely got played 😱 But it could have been worse i suppose!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 17:04

must

True

I might not have remembered to check that he actually had the egg before we had sex

Desperatelyseekingsun · 20/02/2018 18:31

At one particularly happy time in my life I had two school age children, a live in maid, gardeners and a driver. Think of the kicking I would have got then! Sadly no staff currently and I have worked in between my SAHP blocks.

MrsKoala · 20/02/2018 18:34

It's a rookie mistake Rufus. Us old pros would never fall for that. It's confectionary/kebabs upfront or the gaudy floral housecoat and rollers stay firmly on.

Desperatelyseekingsun · 20/02/2018 18:38

I am super classy and will swap champagne or peanuts for favors, definitely not telling DH that as he is keeping me at home he has automatic entitlements!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 18:38

Proof of before pants off

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 18:39

Im obviously a lot less classy than desperately

Desperatelyseekingsun · 20/02/2018 18:48

See that is why I like online communication, rufus, you would never think that if you met me!

NataliaOsipova · 20/02/2018 19:20

Rufus Thank you for clearing that up - I would have wondered about that all week (in between episodes of ER) Grin

And for this - Proof of before pants off - you are my new SAHM hero!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 20:21

Yeah!!

In this house Po Po used to mean police

But no more!!!

mustbemad17 · 20/02/2018 20:48

Definitely have to see the goods before going through the motions!!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 21:00

must

Motions??

What???

I have to do motions Shock

NataliaOsipova · 20/02/2018 21:12

I have to do motions shock

I thought you'd perfected the Creme Egg shuffle.... 🍳 Grin

mustbemad17 · 20/02/2018 21:12

Apparently so! I was gleefully informed today that it doesn't count otherwise 😱

I bought my own creme egg 😆

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 21:21

Ive just had a ripple

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 21:21

Apologies

I forgot what we were discussing

Most inappropriate

troodiedoo · 20/02/2018 21:45

Grin this thread amuses me.

NataliaOsipova · 20/02/2018 21:50

Ive just had a ripple

Did you have to perform a disgusting sexual act for that?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 20/02/2018 21:54

Im not telling you that !!! Shock

(I pinched one while he nipped to the loo Grin)

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