Oi SAHMs over here

[StealthPolarBear]

Sit there - - >
And let me give you a good kicking.
It seems to be the day for it :)

Do you think I can avoid a kicking today after being smacked 5 times in the face with a ball? Might only have been one of those soft fabric balls but it still hurt

no - I will not let anyone kick me because I am emotionally aware enough to realise that my personal choices are just that - choices.

Choices that are individual to me and my circumstances, and that are not defined, validated or negated by anyone else choices.

And right now my choice is to be at home, watching the winter olympics and drinking a really rather lovely mug of coffee.

Stealth grab your passport. Another international SAHM signing in. Kids finish school in 5 mins, and I don't even have to do the school run - they will get deposited at the front door in about 45 mins.

Who is going to look after your kids while you dish out all our knock downs?

zzzz - I was being somewhat tongue in cheek - but I'll bite. I don't believe there is ever only one path - so yes there are always choices (or decisions if you wish) even if those are limited/constrained somehow.

Isn't emotional intelligence about being about to recognise that others choices may be limited by circumstances beyond their control? That this isn't a binary state - with one 'choice' being right and another 'choice' being wrong?

My current set of 'choices' are limited by many factors - and I was getting very tired of feeling like I had to defend myself to other women whose personal identity is tied up in their own choices. I think I get tired of all the demonising of 'other'. The lack of awareness that other states do exist and are just as valid. The invisibility that comes from dealing with people who can only see the world from their viewpoint.

I could divorce DH and go back to work i suppose. That would be a choice i could make. But then i'd need a kicking for being a single mum to 3 young bairns and not seeing into the future properly. I can't see any other choices for me.

zzzz Maybe we are agreeing/disagreeing about the same thing? If you see the choice as a binary one between stay at home/work - then yes - I can agree that there are circumstances where there is not the privilege of choice.

But I don't see these as binary issues - I think life is much more complex than that. That there is a gradient of choices you can make - no matter what your circumstances.

But what I agree with is that we need to have social systems that empower and enable women to feel they can and that they have the right to make choices. That we need to build a support system that enables choice and doesn't shut it down. That all women, no matter what their life circumstances should always feel they have a 'choice' - but we are heading deep into discussions about agency and what contributes to lack of agency here.

I am more than aware of the hardship of not having a choice (or at least feeling like you have no choice) - that was never in question.

Oh zzzzz did you have to?

@soupdragon that is genius

Don't most people have choices though, obviously apart from those who are carers for partners or dc with sn.

I'm always aware of the extent that we went to because we wanted a sahp, we could have said we had no choice if we wanted a particular pathway, but the sahm was the one thing we wanted, so everything had to fit in with it, including going off grid and being self sufficient for a while.

Most people i know childcare costs more than their wages and the family pot couldn't support it, so there really isn't any choice - its sahm or no dc.

toomuchtooold no international kickings sorry. Brexit, you know

Shocking. This sort of blatant discrimination against immigrants expats would never have happened in the days of the Empire

I reckon DH would sue me under the trades description act if I told him he was married to a prostitute...

Haw haw

Although as I have just ticked a box saying I am "economically inactive" dh certainly shouldn't expect much.

MrsKoala

I'm not saying it would be my choice, but some people do continue to work when childcare costs them more than their salary.
They work at a loss for a number of years relying on the spouses income.
It wouldn't be my choice, but some people do choose this.

sandland asks a very good question Stealth...who is going to childmind for you whilst you administer the kicks? Or do you have a team of shin kickers you can delegate to?? If so can you employ me & then I will no longer be deserving of said kicking

*I did once have sex with the ex h in exchange for a kebab for tea

I hope you insisted on both sides of the bargain being consumed concurrently?*

@MrsKoala This is the level of multitasking I aspire to. One day.

But there is a loss you can afford and a loss which would mean you couldn't pay the mortgage. What choice is that?

I accidentally had sex with dh for a creme egg

I honestly didnt think he had one...

I think i'd maybe offer sex for a creme egg...i'd need to see the goods first tho

Don't worry zzzzz you can have some that I have going spare from the upper echelons.