Can *everything* be fit into the 6am-6pm working day?

[Whiskaspie]

And I mean everything bar putting dishwasher on after dinner and putting kids to bed. All house/food/bills/kids/garden/planning etc etc...if one were a sahp.

It’s this kind of silly shit that makes people lose respect for SAHPs.

Only people with no respect for SAHP generally don't deserve any respect themselves.

Come on. Making out that “emptying the bath” is an actual job is a joke.
Cleaning the bathroom is a job. Not emptying the bath. That’s just ridiculous.

The OP should really have said in her opening post that they have a house to re-decorate, a bare garden to plant up and along with all the normal house jobs with a husband who comes home, makes his own mess and refuses to clean up after himself, or even help with the kids etc. That would have been more understandable - all she said was all the housework, so she got responses telling her that housework isn't a huge job.

I dunno. When my DS has deposited his twenty billion toys into the water and doodled around with bath crayons it can be quite a job.

I never allowedbath crayons. They seemed like a nightmare. Bubbles and a few toys was my limit.

They are.

Obviously depends on the age of the children. If they are pre-school age, then definitely not, unless they are unusually undemanding (or you have additional help). If they are school-age then I'd have thought that was pretty straightforward, unless you have unusual circumstances.

I work full-time and I'm sure I could fit "everything" H and I do domestically within the school day.

dunno. When my DS has deposited his twenty billion toys into the water and doodled around with bath crayons it can be quite a job

Rod. Back. Springs to mind!

Do not use bah crayons. Paper and crayons for drawing, not at bath time!!!

Scoop toys into plastic tub. Rince out bath. Done.

Ah yes but he has so much fun. They were a Christmas present and will run out soon enough.

But landscaping garden and painting bedrooms are optional things. They are not part of the day to day core.

They're not day to day no, though some level of home and garden maintenance isn't optional, but OP mentioned them in the context of there always being something. Their youngest seems to have only just started primary, so it sounds like OP is still in the stage of working through the backlog of stuff that you do when you free up a bit more time, iyswim. Everything that just doesn't get done when there's a pre-schooler around all the time- and if they have a 5 year old and a 10 year old, the family composition has extended that period of time to the maximum possible length!

You think to yourself, oh my youngest has started their free hours or whatever, I have so much time to get stuff done, but it takes a bit of time to start to feel the benefit of it because you're also getting through all the stuff that's gone to the bottom of the priority list. Especially if your partner expects literally every thing to be done during his hours of work.

But landscaping garden and painting bedrooms are optional things. They are not part of the day to day core.
Exactly. They still need doing, even if you think they are optional. And I won't get any help with them because they van be done through my 6-6 week.

Your question (once you admited your dc are n school all day) was effectively, "do you think that 27.5 hours a week without interruption, plus another 30 odd with 2 Primary aged dc, is enough to do everything it takes to run a house"

I'm not just talking about running a house, though, am I?

Thank you behind, I'm also thinking a lot of ppl are actually ignoring the core problem which I have stated, and turning it into a sahp must have loads of free time issue. Which it isn't.

The OP should really have said in her opening post that they have a house to re-decorate, a bare garden to plant up and along with all the normal house jobs with a husband who comes home, makes his own mess and refuses to clean up after himself, or even help with the kids etc. That would have been more understandable - all she said was all the housework,

No I didn't. Your comments from the start show this is what you read it as though, which is why I've had to give more info along the way.

Thx beetle at least you and some few others seem to have grasped the situation! I didn't start this thread as a what sahp do in the day thread, but that's what it's turning into!

I'm not just talking about running a house, though, am I?

As far as I can tell, yes. Can you clarify for me what else you are talking about ? As I would consider checking out the best deals for utilities etc.; maintaining the structure of the house; keeping the garden in check ; decorating ; sorting the MOTs and car insurance and maintenance; and so forth all part of the running of a household. You do realise many many parents have to do all those jobs as well, around the 50 odd hours they are out of the house at work ?

But as I said in my last post, that isn't really the question you want answering I suspect. That is however the answer to the question you did ask.

OK then, we obviously have different definitions. Is holiday stuff, medical stuff, everything conceivably linked to us, our belongings, our families called running a household? Maybe I should have said running our lives, then ppl wouldn't be so focused on the housework and associated utilities etc.

when I was full time SAHP, which was when they were pre-school age, I could easily get everything done during the day if I wanted to.

I think I struggled when they were tiny babies, and dh was always very hands on when he got home, so we worked at a team, but yes , that is loads of time. And I would say 7 am until dinner, which was 6.

Now they are at school, and I work part time from home, I can still do most things, if I get off mn!

We don’t quite manage 6-6 here, but 7-7 happens most days. I work part-time 2 days/20 hours, DH works 4 days/40 hours. So there are 4 days where one of us is home, the 5th day we’ve got grandparents to help with the school run.
Two children, 4 and 8 and no 3 on the way.

For us 7-7 usually looks like
4pm home from school - 5.15 if there’s an activity
5:30-6 Family dinner, all 4 of us eat together
6-6:30 bath/PJs/teeth
One parent does the bath and other cleans kitchen, puts on a load of washing.
6.30-7 stories/tucking in - both parents
7pm - we sit down and do nothing till bed at 11. Usually have a cup of tea and something to eat because we eat so early with the children

I highly doubt this will still work for us when the baby comes, so I’m enjoying it while it lasts!

OK, sorry, I missed a few pages!

From your original post I asumed you meant day to day stuff.

No, I would not be able to fit the non day to day stuff in, we do a lot of that at the weekend.
I would say big garden stuff, redecorating, holiday planning, basically anything not day to day wouldn't really fit.
Although, my Mum told me if you have a big job to do (eg paint a room), don't do all the daily stuff first, the minnute the kids are out of the door, go and do 3-4 hours on your big job. The breakfast stuff and dishwasher will get done around everything else, but a big job won't. This is actually very clever, and worked very well, so at times, I have taken a few days to do this, and the everyday stuff gets done round it.

I have sympathy, because I think your issue is really that you are not working as a team. But you do have a huge amount of time.

OP - having read the whole (rather painful due to all the misunderstandings of what your issue is really about) thread,

I would say that if my DH ever dared to behave like yours - effectively treating me with no respect at all, seeing me as a maid, skivvy, admin and I was basically being a lone parent to my children in all but earning the money - I would seriously be thinking about divorce.

You are not in a partnership, it sounds as though your H has mentally checked out of the family and from being a parent. I would be asking myself whether he had also checked out of the marriage...

For all the pps who are throwing scorn on all the difficulties of doing all household tasks etc - it’s not just the physical act of getting things done, it’s the mental and emotional load that goes with it. The responsibility of having to do, remember, think of everything. That is exhausting if you’re doing it all on your own, unsupported.

Dripfeedtastic

SAHPing isn’t “running our lives” to the extent of being a landscape gardener, decorater and personal assistan.

Decorator^

SAHPing isn’t “running our lives” to the extent of being a landscape gardener, decorater and personal assistan.
Indeed. But this is my assumed role, to fit into 6-6, or any other things would be done by me in the evening, as per the book covering example.
potatoes you say dripfeed, I say giving further detail for clarity . Obviously ppl were assuming everything was just household chores and childcare, initially.
steppe I agree with your mum :)
cantseemto yes! The assumption I have responsibility for all things is my frustration!

Definitely interested in how this works! I have a 7 month old and some days I don’t get any housework done! I’m going to start working from home a few hours a day soon now that he’s in more of a routine with naps. Need to get better at fitting everything in but my boy is always more important than chores! As far as myself and my husband are concerned my role is to take care of our son, everything else in our house is shared! Though I do all the cooking.