Can *everything* be fit into the 6am-6pm working day?

[Whiskaspie]

And I mean everything bar putting dishwasher on after dinner and putting kids to bed. All house/food/bills/kids/garden/planning etc etc...if one were a sahp.

Not if you've got am ebf baby, or more than 2 preschoolers. I can remember feeding one of mine for 12 hours s day sometimes.
But if all your children are at school, then yes, it probably is possible.

If we, as full time working parents out of the house 7am to nearly 7pm, can manage to get everything done, then I don't see why you wouldn't be able to.

If your kids are young, your primary focus should be childcare anyway. Anything else can be done during naps, for an hour or so in the evenings, and at weekends.

Your a Stay At Home MUM which means you're parenting at home. The end goal isn't you doing every single chore under the sun, otherwise you can add Stay At Home Cook or Dogsbody to your "title"

Absolutely not. Well, I can’t do it!

Surely this depends on all sorts of things?

If you're fit and well, have one child at school, and a small house, then yes sure.

If you've got a huge house and a baby and toddler at home, then not so much.

Depends...my kids don't go to bed until 8

Banking and bills doesn’t take very long, but sorting out car insurance (often x2), home insurance, internet and phone, possibly TV if that’s something you choose to pay for, remortgaging, gas and electric, possibly breakdown cover, travel insurance are all once yearly tasks that take more than no time if you want to make sure you get the best deal. If you add those up, suddenly it’s a once every 6 weeks job not a never job.

But do agree that most things can be managed by direct debits or standing orders!

I used to be able to get all the chores done, but not including taking to cubs/ swimming lessons/ guitar lessons/ collecting from play dates, and making dinner and any help with homework once they were older and we didn’t eat till after 6.

Over a number of days/weeks I’d get my admin etc done plus housework.

Easier when the dcs are at school - very difficult during the holidays.

I work four days a week and dream of being a SAHM now the dcs are at school!

Yes.I tend to have done everything I need to do by 6pm.I only have one ds 4 though so whether it would be different with more I don't know.Dh works full time

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess your dp thinks you should be able to do everything before he gets back, therefore he doesn't have to lift a finger?

You got it weird.
When I say everything bar putting dishwasher on and (reading to one DC) putting DC to bed, that's what I mean. The list included bills (some of which are not DD and need doing online) to try and give a wide view. Car organisation and holiday planning also...

DC are primary, so I get most stuff done through the day. However, after 3pm, if I'm not ferrying round to after school activities or otherwise entertaining them, they create mess :).

Occasionally he'll bring laundry in if asked, rarely off his own bat. Does put bins out. I bring back after bin Day. The dishwasher and bins are a relatively new thing. Reading to one DC is slightly less so. He never did his fair share when we both worked FT, slacked off when I went PT. Now seems mostly incapable of thinking to help.

Just tired of having to ask him to do something that benefits us all, as if he's doing me a personal favour... Recently DC had a number of school books to cover. He left me to it in the evening, even though I'd already asked if he thought it was fair I did it all myself in the evening while he was on the computer. Got told it should have been done through the day and fitted into the time he was commuting/working. The books were brought home and needed to be back the next day, so obviously I should have made it my priority right after a half hour walk, in between snacks, fight mediation, entertaining DC etc and making dinner.

It's the constant assumption that everything should be done and if not he doesn't think I deserve a helping hand... He rarely gets asked to do anything in the evening/weekend.

I was a sahm for 5 years and husband was shiftworker ( 12 hours, including nights sometimes) so I was doing all the caring and house stuff myself. There were PLENTY of times I was still busying around into evening because I always felt like it was a balance between doing stuff with DS and getting jobs done. And when they are first eating there always seemed to be so much extra kitchen / clean up work, when they go to groups or swimming or you are out for the day nothing gets done and so you need to catch up. I did anyway!

I was always up close to 6am and my boy actually was in bed around 6/ 6.30. There was a lot to fit in our daily routine, and we have dogs too so needed to get those out in day, as dh may have been working at night so I couldn't leave house in evening.

I am sure at one stage I had ideas of keeping a working day at home!

Tell him to get to actual fuck. Seriously, don't entertain that or discuss what hours SAHMing should fit into. He's your partner and he's treating you like shit, like a feckless employee. Fuck him. See who covers the kids' books for the next day on his nights when he's been binned off and living alone.

Sounds like a dick tbh OP.

If he thinks all 'your' jobs fall into his working hours, then what are his thoughts on things that naturally fall out of that time - night wakings or weekend activities. Is he doing his fair share of those? My arse is he!

No. I'm a SAHP to a 16 month old and a 2.9 year old.

My day often starts at 5am when my 2 year old wakes up and finishes around 10pm when I finish the bedtime battle trying to get her to go to bed - she's an horrendous sleeper and also wakes once or twice during the night.

I don't have either of my children in nursery because I'm a SAHP so I'm constantly picking up, tidying up, wiping up, and that doesn't finish at 6pm.

The beauty of staying at home is mainly there is no rush to get things done surely? So if you want to leave the hoovering until the evening then you can? I’d tell him to shut up and carry on. As long as it’s getting done then it doesn’t really matter when.

Oh god another self righteous, selfish, arrogant, narrow minded dick of a husband! What is it with these men?!

So he goes 'out' to work - well give the man a round of applause - big fucking deal!

You also work but in your home rather than somewhere else.

Of course there are jobs and running around to be done outside of these hours, have you done such a good job in keeping him so cosseted that he's never noticed this before?

Yes easily.

However it amazes me how long it takes a SAHP to pay the bills, organise appointments and do planning

I do everything on your list bar the gardening and work full time. If I were at home it would be a breeze and I'd have the majority of the day free to do as I pleased.

Probably but I used to tend to leave all admin stuff until the children were in bed and focus on them during the day so lots of time spent playing games, going on walks, doing crafts etc.

We have a 7-7 day here. After ds goes to bed at 7pm neither of us do anything unless there's some unusual extra job to be done. We only have one ds though and he naps for 2 hours at lunchtime. Dh also gets in at 4.30pm from work.

I'm updating my answer above in light of your most recent post. The reason we get to sit down together after ds is in bed is because my dh pulls his weight when he gets home from work.

The beauty of staying at home is mainly there is no rush to get things done surely? So if you want to leave the hoovering until the evening then you can?

Yes this. With children going to school there's a busy time in the morning and a busy time when they get home. So I make sure I get time to myself during the afternoon.

No!! After 6 the kids still play with toys, their clothes still need to go in the wash bin, they still spill drinks after 6pm, if you e hoovered in the day they still manage to get hair and crumbs everywhere, if they are bathed at 6 you still need to clean the bath after and put away bath toys. I can’t see how young kids do nothing for 1.5 hours before bed. Mine are toddlers. I clean during the day, but I still need to tidy again after they have gone to bed, I sit down around 8:15 then I have to shower eat myself get my stuff ready for the next day and then their things. I completely stop at 9:15 and bed at 10 to do it all again at 6.15am

@Deandre they’re hardly what I’d consider ‘jobs’. Chuck some toys away and rinse some water round the bath. I get my kids (5 and 2) to put their toys away and after bath time is quiet books/films/tablets.

You mean can everything be fitted into a 12 hours? Yes.
Everything can probably be fitted into 5 hours of work time - whether those hours are spread or condensed is entirely a different matter.

Yeah, I think so. I have done it regulatory with two kids at home. But I have really easy going kids. That said, I have also had some days where they have trashed my house over and over again, so essentially I'm at square 1 by bed time.

My kids are also in bed by 6.30, and they don't come down stairs after bath time which is roughly 5.30-6pm.