Early morning sex ...

[Sodamntiredasalways]

I get one lie in a week, a Sunday. The rest of the week I'm up for work or training (5:30/6am) and DH is still in bed. Apart from Saturday when we train together. DH has developed this habit of wanting sex at 6am on a Sunday morning. The sun wakes him up .... but apparently it doesn't Monday to Friday AIBU to want to scream at him to bugger off and let me sleep or should I appreciate the affection? He will persist every 15 minutes until I finally wake up and begrudgingly agree. So I can't pretend to be asleep. (This is lighthearted, I love him and we have a great physical relationship - I just was one lie in a week) thoughts ?

Best not to discuss sex at all on AIBU.

What he’s doing is wrong really.

I think this is probably down to communication, rather than anything really sinister When do you initiate sex? Is he receptive then?

Nobody said the OP was feeble or had no control over her actions. She obviously feels she has to agree when he annoys her for sex and doesn't let her sleep.

It doesn't meet the legal standard for rape. It is still shitty behaviour from her husband who doesn't want to take no for an answer and carries on persisting until she eventually begrudgingly says yes.

Of course its not rape, he does sound like a selfish dick though. If DH pestered me (which he never has, as not a dick) I’d be very annoyed and tell him he’s a selfish dick. You should do that OP.

pretend you’ve just had a poo when she's just been woken up? Kind of implies she's pooed the bed?

pretend you’ve just had a poo when she's just been woken up? Kind of implies she's pooed the bed?

Well, can you imagine anything more off putting?

When you go to bed just say if you wake me up before 9am I will divorce you. Don’t wake me up for sex, don’t ask me any questions, don’t ask me what’s for breakfast. Leave me alone.
This is what I do to my DP but I get one lie in a week where he’ll get up with baby and I get actual rage when he comes and tries to talk to me.

God no way, all I want in bed before 10am on a Sunday is tea, toast and the radio on.

Ok so this was meant to be lighthearted.... I've tried talking to him, negotiating even ! But sometimes he just wakes up and takes a notion. We sleep naked, so generally his hands will just wander - which in my eyes is fine. I never ask him, if I can grab him bum or kiss him, so I don't see the difference .... I'll generally say, not yet it's too early. He'll cuddle in, leave it a while - then chance his arm again ! He is in no way a bully, controlling, disgusting, a dick or a rapist. It's all done in a very nice, respectful, playful way. I just think FFS, I drag you out on bed to train on Sat, you're dead to the world m-f ! Why, oh why do you wake on a Sunday so early !!!

Seriously why did you post this thread op? The sexual abuse of women by creepy and abusive men is plastered all over the news at the moment. And you decided to post a 'lighthearted' thread about a man who doesn't respect your boundaries....OK then

Those who describe the above as real rape deserve ridicule. They need to study the legal definition of rape before they start shooting their mouths off again.

@allyjay because it was meant to be lighthearted. If I said no I'm not interested - he would back off. I'm not belittling what's happening in the media. But this isn't even vaguely related. Overreacting much ?

I just don't find it a particularly amusing subject. You obviously do meh

Glad to hear he would back off though

It can’t be that annoying if you could easily put an end to it, but won’t.

I would no longer sleep in the same bed with him on Saturday nights. Someone doing this on my lie-in a week would make me absolutely livid. I wouldn't find it lighthearted at all.

He backs off but then comes back and tries again.

I always do it in the morning. I'm too tired at night

Wow what a scary over reaction for a few people on here.

Op Saturday mornings get him back. Wake him up nice and early for some action.

@LadySainsburySeal I don't say no .... I say later ! His later is just a lot sooner than mine !

At best he's inconsiderate. Why is he asking for sex when he knows it's your one chance to sleep in?

Well give him a time, then, if he’s so thick.

‘Don’t wake me before 8am’.

@Pfftkids ! Don't worry I do ..... he is usually a bit dusty on a Saturday and training is the last thing he wants to do - so I push him extra hard .....

eugh. I love sex but if dp woke me up at 6am for it and was persistent id be really fucked off and tell him to never do that again. I do NOT like being woken up before im ready. Not enough sleep makes me physically ill. Why cant he wait till a more reasonable time?

Glad it seems lighthearted to you. For many women it isn’t lighthearted, and they are genuinely in abusive relationships where their male partners will not take no for an answer.

There are a couple of answers to your ‘why oh why’ lamentations. One is that you always concede to sex, so your husband probably thinks that you think it’s part of the routine. The second possibility is that he doesn’t actually respect your autonomy over your own body, so believes that when you say no he doesn’t have to take any notice.

If you don’t want to have sex then don’t.