Early morning sex ...

[Sodamntiredasalways]

I get one lie in a week, a Sunday. The rest of the week I'm up for work or training (5:30/6am) and DH is still in bed. Apart from Saturday when we train together. DH has developed this habit of wanting sex at 6am on a Sunday morning. The sun wakes him up .... but apparently it doesn't Monday to Friday AIBU to want to scream at him to bugger off and let me sleep or should I appreciate the affection? He will persist every 15 minutes until I finally wake up and begrudgingly agree. So I can't pretend to be asleep. (This is lighthearted, I love him and we have a great physical relationship - I just was one lie in a week) thoughts ?

bold fail.

I like early morning sex-Dp doesn't usually.
I may on occasion snuggle up meaningfully ( you know what I mean) but if he rolls over and says "sleeping" I can't imagine waiting 15 minutes and trying again...and again. ..until he finally relents.
Jesus, who would want sex with someone who is doing it to shut you up and wants to scream at you??? I wouldn't.
It IS coercion, and it's nasty.

Am now convinced this post has nothing to do with sex/lie ons or anything in between...OP just wanted us all to know how fit she is and the hours she spends training on a weekly basis lol😂😂

Repeatedly disturbing someone's sleep because you want something from them (not because it's an emergency/you are ill/a DC is ill, or they asked you to wake them up so they get to work on time) is on quite a few abuse checklists. Sleep deprivation is a recognised form of torture, after all.

DP and I like to have a coffee in bed together every morning. Whoever wakes first does the honours; this is shared roughly 50:50, depending on who wakes first.

If I woke up early on Sunday morning wanting our usual would I be reasonable to wake DP to bring up the coffee, even though it was only 0600 and he was clearly fast asleep? After all, he enjoys our morning ritual as much as I do.

What if I woke him at 0600 on Sunday, week after week, despite him saying repeatedly that he would very much prefer to sleep because he's fucking knackered?

Would that be OK? Or should I make my own bloody coffee, and make us both a cup an hour or two later?

My abusive ex used to do this. I'd give in to shut him up and I'd usually end up enjoying the sex. But it always felt wrong.

It's scary to me that people think sex lives are better amongst those people who grudgingly consent or pester each other.

Some people have happy sex lives when both partners enthusiastically consent. Someone might initiate, but the other person reciprocates. It's not rocket science, is it?

In the OP's case, he initiates, she says 'later'. When she's awake and horny she lets him know. No pestering, no annoyance, no loss of sleep, still shagging.

Yanbu. Tell him to sling his, erm, hook.

light hearted provocation or not, this thread really has highlighted how many high strung control freak ladies there are here
Sometimes its ok to be gently persuaded of something pleasant in a relationship even if you weren't the grand feminine master of the initiation! The bacon sandwich analogy is perfect haha.
Save your MeToo victim speeches for Emma Watson.

You’re back!! There is a poster here who’s quite anxious for you to tell her that your bloke doesn’t have sex with you when he thinks you’re asleep.

However after reading that little speech it’s pretty obvious your bar is really low...

How depressing.

My dp sleeps at mine 4 out of 7 night a week. I get up at 4am every morning, he stays up late with the kids so I do the morning shift. Are people saying on here that it's alright if every morning I chance getting some sec every 15 mins until he gives in even though he's only had 4 hours sleep because yanno I just want sex and it doesn't matter that he's asleep because I want it...
That's what it's sounding like.
What happened to bodily autonomy? If she says no sod off then she means no sod off.

Do I have to copy and paste the whole OP? Gamerchick.... "(This is lighthearted, I love him and we have a great physical relationship - I just was one lie in a week) thoughts ?"
To clarify, you shouldn't take everything so literally and jump on it to make wild assumptions of rape, torture and abuse. laughable.
I have checked my bar and it looks fine, I am happy with it as are many others who are in well balanced relationships who don't feel the need to dictate their partners every urge.

Doubt OP is coming back. If he's hassling her for sex and waking her up every 15 minutes then he is a sex pest.

Do I have to copy and paste the whole OP? Gamerchick.... "(This is lighthearted, I love him and we have a great physical relationship - I just was one lie in a week) thoughts ?"

I’m not talking about the OP. I’m talking about what you wrote about your own bloke in your own relationship.

The one that’s now been deleted so obviously it can’t be talked about now. You might be happy to be treated like that but it doesn’t make it right.

I was replying directly to the op, with the same lightheartedness. Not my problem if some choose to jump into the 'super sensitive always a victim of something' mindset.
It's not wrong or being treated poorly if you are an adult of sound mind who is aware and consenting.

surely theres a difference between pestering and attempting to get someone in the mood? I mean I can sometimes not really be up for it but then after my husband puts a bit of effort in I do become genuinely more enthusiastic.... We kind of have to take the OPs word for it that she likes her sex life despite using the word 'pester' which she did go on to say was 'lighthearted' I mean its up to her? I think the OP implies that she does enjoy the sex when eventually she has woken up enough its just that she wants some time to have a lie in too? I dont think she is implying that she is getting assaulted here at all.

Gamerchick maybe some people get "gently persuaded" to delete posts😂😂

taylorj86

You were telling other people to leave the thread for daring to question your post.

You don't get to tell people to leave the thread. Anything you post can be discussed by others because it's a public forum.

If you really wanted to reply directly to OP, you would have sent her a private message.

And it's absolutely right for your post to be challenged.

There are lots of threads by women who are forced or coerced into sex or have had their partners have sex with them while they're asleep against their will. Posts like yours, unless challenged, may make other women think that it's normal to let your husband 'get on with it' while you pretend to be asleep.

And even OP asks 'should I appreciate the affection?', so even she's not sure how she's feels about being pestered every 15 minutes.

CherryMaDeary... absolutely spot on

Bet you regret starting this Op

CherryMaDeary calm down, it's jus banter innit!
I'll say whatever I wish, as I can see you do also.
You are certainly not one to judge what is decent and reasonable.
A lot of stuck up self important hypocrisy around unfortunately.

I'm confused @taylorj86

Were you making a joke about rape, or is your partner a rapist? Because it's one of those two. For clarity...

taylorj86 I am happy with it as are many others who are in well balanced relationships who don't feel the need to dictate their partners every urge

Not my problem if some choose to jump into the 'super sensitive always a victim of something' mindset

You can try and convince yourself that what your husband does to you when he thinks you're asleep is perfectly fine and normal but deep down you must know it's not...come on, there's been threads on here about it before and people were horrified.

This thread has taken a sinister turn. Especially with regards to the word hypocrisy.

I'm looking at you taylor

I saw your original post. It ended in a lol. Highly inappropriate given the content that went before.

Of course it's all just bantz babe!