Early morning sex ...

[Sodamntiredasalways]

I get one lie in a week, a Sunday. The rest of the week I'm up for work or training (5:30/6am) and DH is still in bed. Apart from Saturday when we train together. DH has developed this habit of wanting sex at 6am on a Sunday morning. The sun wakes him up .... but apparently it doesn't Monday to Friday AIBU to want to scream at him to bugger off and let me sleep or should I appreciate the affection? He will persist every 15 minutes until I finally wake up and begrudgingly agree. So I can't pretend to be asleep. (This is lighthearted, I love him and we have a great physical relationship - I just was one lie in a week) thoughts ?

“I worry that if we don't watch as a society we will take all the fun out of relationships. We will have to agree the night before or have a timetable for sex just to ensure we are not seen to be a sex pest.”

It’s really easy not to be seen as a sex pest. Just don’t be a sex pest!

Oh god, I LOVE morning sex - warm, sweaty bodies...absolutely love it!

It sounds like you are in a dynamic where his needs trump yours. Not good.

Quite a few comments similar to the above from people.

Can you see the problem with this statement? If Sunday is the only morning a couple get in bed together, and he is horny in the morning (as most men are, more so than in the evening) why shouldn’t he want some fun with his wife? Why does her desire for more sleep trump his desire for a shag?

Relationships are about compromise, and all the women here stating that they mustn’t ever be woken for sex, no matter how horny their man is, are doing exactly what the poster in the quote said in reverse.

He's only horny on a Sunday morning though. Exactly the day when the OP wants a lie in. Coincidence? I think not.

The five basic human needs
Oxygen
Water
Food
Shelter
Sleep

Unless of course you are an executive in Oxfam in a country devastated by a major earthquake, obviously you would add sex to that!

Can you see the problem with this statement? If Sunday is the only morning a couple get in bed together, and he is horny in the morning (as most men are, more so than in the evening) why shouldn’t he want some fun with his wife? Why does her desire for more sleep trump his desire for a shag?

Jesus Christ, I despair. So just give it to him anytime he wants? Doesn't matter that she doesn't want to?

The person who doesn’t want sex always trumps the person who does. A persons body doesn’t become marital property which gets shared about. I thought this was fairly basic stuff.

It’s for the OP to decide whether or not she feels her husband is a sex pest or not. After all, she’s a fully functioning adult.

Telling her how she should be viewing him is extremely patronising.

Some of these comments make feel like I've fallen into the 1950s.......

Service your husband when he wants it like a good little wife. Keep that smile on your face because his needs come before yours wife.

No I don't agree it's rape. But it's annoying, it's selfish and if he's that desperate to get his jollies then why can't he wank rather than disturb his wife? Or you know wait a fucking hour.

This is lighthearted,
This is a good start. Mind if I continue in this vein (if you’re still here)?

I love him and we have a great physical relationship
Lovely!

I’ve tried talking to him, negotiating even ! But sometimes he just wakes up and takes a notion.
Most healthy men wake up with a notion every morning…

We sleep naked,
This may tend to weaken your negotiating position.

so generally his hands will just wander
This is called negotiating the terrain.

I’ll generally say, not yet it's too early. He'll cuddle in, leave it a while - then chance his arm again !
His naked arm.

He is in no way a bully, controlling, disgusting, a dick or a rapist. It's all done in a very nice, respectful, playful way.
Sorry, you appear to be posting on the wrong thread.

I just think FFS, I drag you out on bed to train on Sat, you're dead to the world m-f ! Why, oh why do you wake on a Sunday so early !!!
Sunday = ?

His later is just a lot sooner than mine !
It sounds like his cock is still on British Summer Time. This will correct at the end of next month.

*Some of these comments make feel like I've fallen into the 1950s.......

Service your husband when he wants it like a good little wife. Keep that smile on your face because his needs come before yours wife. *

Ffs. It’s nothing to do with being a woman or anything from the 1950s. It has everything to do with compromise within a living relationship.

There are men who have posted on here that their female partners sometimes wake them to suggest sex. It happens all over the world every day in male female relationships, female female relationships and male male relationships.

“There are men who have posted on here that their female partners sometimes wake them to suggest sex.”

Yes, and if that is something both people are happy with that’s obviously fine. This is about one person being asked not to do something and carrying on regardless. Very different.

The way the poster has been portrayed on this thread is unbelievable! 1950s housewife married to a sex pest, doesn't say no and just lays back and thinks of England!! I'm sure her and her husband are very happy and have a very good relationship, compared to some of the posters on here!!

Am I the only one waiting for taylorj86 to come back and explain "while he works away lol" ??? Surely this isn't implying he has sex while she "sleeps" and neither see anything wrong with it? The true intention of OP posting this thread is lost on me I'm afraid... attention/thinly veiled brag???I have no idea but I find it hard to believe the OP didn't foresee that rightly or wrongly this post would get the reactions it has...

Yes mumsy and the op has stated she's not happy with it. Did you miss that part?

I won't have sex with anyone just to keep them happy unless it's going to make me happy. Married 17 years. Thank you.

So happy with their relationship that she posts on a national forum asking whether it's unreasonable to refuse sex with a husband who continues to pester her, even when she has repeatedly asked him to stop and let her sleep?

Many of the posters on here have reiterated that in a healthy relationship either partner can try to initiate sex, but if the other partner is unwilling then you don't just carry on and over-rule them.

Have people actually read the ops follow up posts, or just the thread opener?

It’s lighthearted ffs, some of you must be right miseries to live with

Mumsy (sexy name by the way) We are happy and happy in our sex lives too.

Which is why we don't post on AIBU about it. and then back peddle furiously because it's not lighthearted and actually quite serious

So shall I give into anal sex to keep my man happy? I really don't want to do it but compromise? How about violent sex?.compromise?

How about "I'm really not OK with it, I'd like an extra hours kip but maybe in an hour or 2?"
Man- nope. Me want now, me getting what I want now and die trying.

Where's the compromise from him?

Ofcourse... I'd just be so much more fun if I just let him do whatever he likes whenever he likes. Silly me, forgetting it's not the 1970s!

Thankfully I am married to a wonderful, respectful man who knows he's welcome but is also perfectly happy with a snuggle. Relationships should be about communication and respect.

You should start waking him the mornings he can sleep in but you have to wake up early and see if he's happy about it. (He might be of course lol)

The way the poster has been portrayed on this thread is unbelievable! 1950s housewife married to a sex pest, doesn't say no and just lays back and thinks of England!! I'm sure her and her husband are very happy and have a very good relationship, compared to some of the posters on here!!

You must have missed some bits of the OP posts:
AIBU to want to scream at him to bugger off and let me sleep or should I appreciate the affection?

He will persist every 15 minutes until I finally wake up and begrudgingly agree

The OP obviously has a problem with the above behaviour or she wouldn't be posting about it.

Unless you have discussed it and agreed that you like waking each other for sex (which is fine, if you do like it), no one should wake anyone else up to just to ask them for sex. It's inconsiderate and selfish. Even more so when you know your partner is tired. Waking a partner up because you are bored and want them to listen to you/watch TV with you is generally recognized as annoying behaviour, so why do some people find it so hard to understand that doing it for sex is not acceptable, either?

I think that doing it habitually is more than just annoying. SGB

Why does her desire for more sleep trump his desire for a shag?

I have no words

*Why does her desire for more sleep trump his desire for a shag?

I have no words*

It's fucking ridiculous isn't it? I had no idea so many women were just having sex when they didn't even want to. I have literally never done this, with DH or before. And these husbands that are having sex when they know they've badgered someone to do it. All sounds shit really.