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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jo Cox's Husband

336 replies

itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 18/02/2018 08:15

I was really shocked and depressed to see this. It feels like an epidemic:

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jo-cox-husband-brendan-cox-step-down-charity-a8215951.html%3famp

He's said some things about hatred since losing his wife that were so right - but now this has come out.

It's hard not to think all men are the problem when these stories are so frequent, even though I know that's not true from the lovely men in my own life!! I'm trying to see it as a positive thing that more women are being encouraged to report these things and that's why it's in the news more, as maybe that will help younger generations of boys to grow up NOT thinking it's ok to assault women.

AIBU?

OP posts:
DarthNigel · 18/02/2018 08:55

Ugh. I'm surprised by this and saddened. And what I wonder about is the arrogance of it really. If I'd been accused of what he had, and I'd admitted my behaviour in part as he seems to have, I wouldn't have the hide to make myself a public figure at all.Unless of course I thought my behaviour was trivial and not all that bad and why can't people just forget about it because I'm setting up this charity now so it's all ok, I suppose.
And what a shame that it will mar the work done by the charity and the memory of Jo a little in some peoples eyes-which will be the ultimate unfairness of it all.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2018 08:56

It is depressing, woulden't the world be a better place if women where in power or there were just women. I know that there are decent men about, but most of the decline in the world is due to men. Wars, fighting, abuse, rape, environmental issues. The individuals making the major decsions are usually men.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2018 08:57

I am not a man hater, I have a lovely husband and wonderful son, just thinking about this a few days ago, and talking about men as a collective sex, not individuals.

Nyetimber · 18/02/2018 08:57

Actually he’s now facing trial by MN. None of us know the facts. There is no suggestion he wasn’t a good husband and father.
My reading is that he potentially came on to a couple of women in a drunken, inappropriate way. That doesn’t make him anything other than an idiot. He’s not been found guilty of anything. He’s not even been on trial - yet we assume guilt of crimes of significant magnitude. He stepped down to stop the embarrassment of a media trial for StC.

Perfectnight · 18/02/2018 08:59

No but he has admitted it!

LifeBeginsAtGin · 18/02/2018 08:59

I always wondered what he did for a living. So he's from the charity sector!!

So his squeaky image was a front. The murder of his wife placed him in a unique position to head his own charity. He has enjoyed the publicity and doesn't want to give it up...

From the Independent: For that reason, while away over half-term, I decided to step down from my current public roles for the time being What does 'time being' mean??

WollstonecraftSpawn · 18/02/2018 09:01

NYE - so you think being a good husband is not incompatible with making unwanted passes at other women? Your world is not my world.

Didiusfalco · 18/02/2018 09:02

Erm, I think even if it was just ‘coming on to a few women’ that would make him a shit husband nyetimber, also that is the kind of minimising that’s been used to give all sorts of crappy behaviour a pass.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2018 09:03

Yes he has admitted it, and its very awful behaviour, even if he has not gone through the justice system. Grabbing women by the throat, and sexually harrassing them is awful and unacceptable behaviour.

HesterShaw · 18/02/2018 09:03

Yuck. They're all at it 😥

EllieMe · 18/02/2018 09:03

He's admitted it and apologised, although said not all accusations were true.

Let's leave him and the children alone now, shall we?

Original poster
itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 18/02/2018 09:03

How can he be a good husband and father if he's assaulted women? Confused

Do you mean, he covered it up well?

OP posts:
CapnHaddock · 18/02/2018 09:04

He's admitted sleazy behaviour at StC. This is not 'trial by MN' Hmm

Saucery · 18/02/2018 09:06

Men need to be held to higher standards than “but he could still have been a good husband and father”

chickenlegscarla · 18/02/2018 09:06

What a sleazeball.

Agree with a pp who says that the majority of problems are created by men; sexual harassment, war, etc.

Original poster
itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 18/02/2018 09:06

ellieme - don't you think that the more of these cases that come out, the more women will have the courage to speak out, and the more people will believe them?

"Leaving him alone" means burying it.

Of course that doesn't mean we should be assassinating his character, as that's unhelpful. But highlighting what he did to open up the more important issue of why does this keep happening in all areas of society, and how can we try to stop it isn't unhelpful, IMO.

OP posts:
givemesteel · 18/02/2018 09:07

Disgusting hypocrite.

Only apologises when he's found out.

I didn't even like him before this with all his moralistic aggrandising.

Perfectnight · 18/02/2018 09:07

Can’t we discuss his ‘sleazy behaviour?’

Original poster
itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 18/02/2018 09:07

I didn't put that well - i don't mean assassinating his character so much as i mean focussing on his family life etc. It's a bigger picture than just him, is what I'm trying incoherently to get out!!

OP posts:
buddhasbelly · 18/02/2018 09:10

It's made the headlines in most UK news sites. The guardian doesn't mention it at all.

SmurfOrTerf · 18/02/2018 09:13

Buddha I was thinking that. Maybe they will give him a job

PerfectlyDone · 18/02/2018 09:13

I think the sooner men AND women realise that wether or not a man is a 'nice' person, they are part of a societal structure known as the patriarchy which allows, almost encourages, a sense of entitlement which expresses itself in many men to overstep a mark that is now, finally, no longer seen as acceptable.

Thank the fucking heavens above!

Grilledaubergines · 18/02/2018 09:16

YABU. Stop with the ‘all men’ rubbish.

And it’s made you depressed? Really? You clearly know nothing of depression to be so flippant.

PenguindreamsofDraco · 18/02/2018 09:18

His statement is horribly manipulative. Whilst away for half term - I have kids dontcha know.

buddhasbelly · 18/02/2018 09:19

@SmurfOrTerf and yet they've done a piece about the Baftas and the Times Up movement. Ridiculous.

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