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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jo Cox's Husband

336 replies

itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 18/02/2018 08:15

I was really shocked and depressed to see this. It feels like an epidemic:

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jo-cox-husband-brendan-cox-step-down-charity-a8215951.html%3famp

He's said some things about hatred since losing his wife that were so right - but now this has come out.

It's hard not to think all men are the problem when these stories are so frequent, even though I know that's not true from the lovely men in my own life!! I'm trying to see it as a positive thing that more women are being encouraged to report these things and that's why it's in the news more, as maybe that will help younger generations of boys to grow up NOT thinking it's ok to assault women.

AIBU?

OP posts:
UpABitLate · 19/02/2018 12:30

lol @nauticant Grin

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake · 19/02/2018 12:44

I was going to say one of the lessons from this is we should stop believing people are perfect just because they tell us they are and all people are flawed but actually that’s bollocks. I’m flawed and I’ve never behaved like this. This is appalling behaviour. How dare this man preach to the world after his wife’s murder knowing what he’d done?
I feel so sorry for the children, what a family history will follow them through life.

Southwestten · 19/02/2018 12:56

. *Behind closed doors, I think most people have dark secrets, have behaved badly on occasions. No one is a perfect saint.

PS just reading about Hamilton and Jefferson, and they're great examples of this point.*

Wyclef do you think this applies to Harvey Weinstein too?

UpABitLate · 19/02/2018 13:07

Some people's secrets are darker than others
Some people's secrets only cause issues for themselves
I can safely say U've never put my hand around someone's throat in a club because they refused to have sex with me (as alleged)

SersioulycanitgetWORSE · 19/02/2018 13:09

where I suspect he is happy to preach because he didn't see he had done anything wrong..

SersioulycanitgetWORSE · 19/02/2018 13:10

Jimmy's Savile for the goodness sake, amazing charity worker wasn't he Hmm oh yes always raising money for children...

Oblomov18 · 19/02/2018 13:11

I just find him vile. But I get the impression that he doesn't see himself, in the same way as we all do.

SersioulycanitgetWORSE · 19/02/2018 13:15

Yes indeed, right on, on the the morally right side... How could anything he do be classed as abusive!?

WyclefJohn · 19/02/2018 13:39

@Southwestten

I think Harvey Weinstein is an extreme case.

Kikashi · 19/02/2018 13:47

This is from the guardian based on his Mail on Sunday interview:
Reflecting on his past behaviour in an interview with the Mail on Sunday, Cox apologised for any hurt and offence caused. “Certainly, I had too much to drink at times. I probably behaved in a way I thought was sort of jokey or flirtatious. I often wasn’t being serious, but that was perceived differently by others,” he said.

“There was never any malice, any intention to upset or offend people. But the bigger picture is that you do have to face up to how you make people feel, not just what your intention was. I didn’t reflect on it – that’s not a defence, it’s a failing.

www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/feb/18/brendan-cox-resigns-from-charities-amid-sexual-assault-claims

So - it was a failure to "reflect" on his behaviour which was "flirtatious", "not meant to cause offence" but was perceived differently by others. So, basically he thinks he didn't really do anything wrong - it is other people's difference in perception. Yeah - BC is really sorry because a hand round your throat is such a joke - right?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 19/02/2018 13:51

The bad guys are always ugly and creepy rightwingers aren't they? They are never tall and handsome and leftie. Except they are.

But aid workers for God's sake, I actually despair. And I never knew a thing about the UN peacekeepers Derxa highlighted. Have I had my head under a rock? Why is this not massive news?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/02/2018 13:51

How can you non-maliciously and jokily (allegedly) put your hand round someone's throat?

This is a real "sorry you felt that way" non-apology

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/02/2018 13:53

Separately, if I were Jo's family, I'd be deeply concerned about watt disciplinary techniques BC thinks is appropriate for children if grabbing someone by the throat is acceptable

LadyinCement · 19/02/2018 13:59

It sounds like a script for a tv drama series. Dodgy husband with successful wife hides complaints about him, then wife is killed and he accidentally becomes a hero - the grieving handsome widower - with plaudits heaped upon him and he is finally in the ascendency... and then it all comes tumbling down when his past catches up with him.

derxa · 19/02/2018 14:01

He seems to have quite a serious drink problem. He needs to get that sorted.

SersioulycanitgetWORSE · 19/02/2018 14:02

Twinkly the whistle blower was big news when it came put re un peace keepers

LittleLionMansMummy · 19/02/2018 14:04

Yes Lady I too predict a future mini series.

Kikashi · 19/02/2018 14:37

lady you are spot on.

LinedPaper · 19/02/2018 15:01

Indeed, the Politician's Husband.

LadyinCement · 19/02/2018 15:07

Yes, a bit of editing and filming extra bits and the BBC could save money by using the same programme.

AntArcticFox · 19/02/2018 15:10

The number of women who have apparently complained about him beggars belief.

This is not your average office party sleaze.

Hygge · 19/02/2018 17:48

AntArctic - how many women have complained? I haven't been able to find that. One report makes it look like just one woman, but others are clear that it's more, just not how many more.

AntArcticFox · 19/02/2018 18:23

It's in the not confirmed realm.

Kikashi · 19/02/2018 18:31

I thought I read that 12 women complained at Save the Children but can't now seem to find a link to corroborate that.

Leontine · 19/02/2018 18:41

I've only heard about the one incident that took place in Massachusetts. I had no idea there were others. I'm shocked.