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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jo Cox's Husband

336 replies

itsmeimcathyivecomehome · 18/02/2018 08:15

I was really shocked and depressed to see this. It feels like an epidemic:

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jo-cox-husband-brendan-cox-step-down-charity-a8215951.html%3famp

He's said some things about hatred since losing his wife that were so right - but now this has come out.

It's hard not to think all men are the problem when these stories are so frequent, even though I know that's not true from the lovely men in my own life!! I'm trying to see it as a positive thing that more women are being encouraged to report these things and that's why it's in the news more, as maybe that will help younger generations of boys to grow up NOT thinking it's ok to assault women.

AIBU?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/02/2018 20:27

I am surprised . I thought he was a good one , and he clearly isn’t
It’s disappointing mainly because he is sole parent for 2 kids who had their mum brutally murdered

Sadly am normalised to male sexual abuse by now

SersioulycanitgetWORSE · 18/02/2018 20:28

Wasn't there some time famous author or actor whose wife had to wank him off to stop him from going after women at parties?

ItsAllABitStrangeReally · 18/02/2018 20:32

Pumper, I never suggested women are as bad........but they do seem to get lighter sentences for violent crimes.

No, we didn't report what happened. This was at least 10 years ago as the dc were only young. We just got them out of there as quickly as possible as there was a lot of swearing and things could have escalated as they were drunk.......I remember at the time thinking how hypocritical. If a man had grabbed my privates the men walking past would have comforted me (( I hope )) not threatened me !!

What happened, happened. Nothing I can do to change any of that but I really do think women (( and men )) who turn a blind eye to any sort of abuse of their children should be prosecuted.

Elle8989 · 18/02/2018 20:32

Jess philips on brendan cox. 'What you think is harmless banter is received completely differently'. 'He mabey didn't realise'. These words onc4news are not standing with the women as she claims.

KERALA1 · 18/02/2018 21:00

These pathetic statements after the event are laughable. "I made mistakes and behaved in a way that may have caused offence" Hmm times 1000.

Were these men like this anyway or does the saying "power corrupts" apply? Seems to dh and I that wherever there is a power imbalance this shit happens.

20nil · 18/02/2018 21:24

Jess Phillips and anyone else in the Labour Party who in any way tries to minimise this should be ashamed. This shouldn’t be about left or right. It should be about condemning this sort of behaviour, full stop. What a hideous man he is.

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 21:30

I've lost respect for jess Phillips over this.

I'm ex Labour voter but there's still respect there for a (dwindling) group of their MPs on my part.

The northern MP responsible for the "Edstone" too.

I hope people don't take these responses and Mr Cox' s apology at face value but look into what's gone on.

Also I read his recent piece in Prospect about being a "Cosmopolitan" or something - what a deluded big head he appears to be.

I'm sure given his wording of his statement he intends to come back in an influential role at some point in the future.

ilovegin112 · 18/02/2018 21:36

I see his late wife’s family (at least her sister) are standing by him, it doesn’t sit easy with me that his wife probably knew all about this as well and it was hidden by who he knew

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 21:41

Lucy Powell MP is the name I was grasping for with the Edstone reference.

nauticant · 18/02/2018 21:44

His late wife's family don't have much choice in the matter. What do you think would happen if they started criticising him?

The Labour MPs busy whitewashing today and already actively working towards his rehabilitation should feel ashamed of themselves. It's a level of hypocrisy I struggle to express in words.

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 21:45

It's sickening isn't it?

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 21:47

If you wished the family well you'd hope he went through a lot of therapy rather than helping him brush off his behaviour as a slightly unfortunate Series of mishaps.

nauticant · 18/02/2018 21:49

I've been following this over the day and there are countless voices on the left minimising this (demanding sex from a woman he's grabbed by the throat for fuck's sake) over every trivial pretext you could imagine. It is unbelievable to watch. This is pushing me so far and so fast away from Labour I'm not sure what it would take for me ever to return.

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 21:51

Yvette Cooper sky news now

aRespectableBureaudeChange · 18/02/2018 21:51

Well his intended return probably depends on how many other women are prepared to speak - it seems unlikely the reports to date are the only women he has harassed. Could be the first case where everything's out there, but unlikely - time will tell.

Jess - not madly keen on her, but would have hoped for more from her - disappointing when women on the left are apologists for such men.

Honestly most men manage not to behave like his - he is an entitled specimen and seemed obviously so to me.

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 21:56

She moved away from his case pretty quickly onto generalities on harassment.
Fair enough, she's a skilled politician.

aRespectableBureaudeChange · 18/02/2018 22:01

I don't think any further relevations are required though. I mean it will scupper the rehabilitate poor prince Brendan drive the left are hell bent on if further claims arise.

I wonder how Jo's sister might feel if it was her throat his hands were around?

TheAntiBoop · 18/02/2018 22:04

It's hard for the family - they don't want to risk their relationship with the kids

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 22:07

I don't blame the sister and family. They really do have to back him.

nauticant · 18/02/2018 22:08

As far as other women speaking up is concerned, last weekend the story broke and was pretty much ignored by the media, today the story broke so wide open it couldn't be ignored, and the result is people falling over themselves to excuse his abuse. Any victim looking at this will think twice about whether they'd get a fair hearing and whether they'd be likely to get support or find themselves somehow to be in the wrong.

MissEliza · 18/02/2018 22:13

I actually feel sad that a classy intelligent woman like Jo Cox was married to someone like that. I hope she had no idea.

aRespectableBureaudeChange · 18/02/2018 22:13

Couldn't disagree more with those comments Nauticant.

Story has been out there a long time, this is timed damage limitation. I'd expect others to feel more confident of being believed.

AntArcticFox · 18/02/2018 22:20

The original story about the accusations at his employer , the charity Save the Children, was published in UK papers before Jo Cox's murder.

Pumperthepumper · 18/02/2018 22:22

I agree Nauticant - look at Harvey Weinstein and how many women were accused of ‘band-waggoning’ or how many people think Michael Fallon shouldn’t have resigned over what he did, or how many people are sneering about #metoo because ‘some assaults are less serious than others’. I think you have to be very, very brave to come forward when it’s a high profile case.

aRespectableBureaudeChange · 18/02/2018 22:25

no disagree Pumper.

Weird comment - almost sounds like you a trying to discourage anyone further coming forward.

Weird.