Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have lost the will to live

406 replies

lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:15

Someone please give me some advice or something, anything to take my mind of how fuming I am.

I am being induced tomorrow at 11am, boyfriend went for a pint with a friend, fine, said he'd be back by 12, fine, gives me a chance to bath/clean/chill.

It's now 3am he has just stumbled in absolutely steaming, rang the doorbell constantly, waking me up even though he had his keys on him. He's been sick in the bedroom/bathroom knocking everything over. To top it all off I'm now on the sofa as he's diagonal across the bed snoring his head off and he's far to heavy for me to move him.

You know any other night I may have found it slightly amusing and left him to it. I just wanted tonight of all nights to not be woken up and kept awake and having to get up early to clean up all his sick before I come home with the baby. He will be a nightmare to get up in the morning and I don't think I can face the dramatics and moodiness of him when I have to get up and go and have a baby.

Would I be a complete bitch if I left him to it and went and had the baby myself and made him regret it for a long time. Or is that a step too far? It's my first baby and a high risk pregnancy. Sorry for the rant it's early/late and I'm angry.

OP posts:
TheViceOfReason · 20/02/2018 16:11

Hope the baby comes soon.

On a serious note - he will NOT change OP. He has shown you who he really is. This isn't the usual MN over reaction. He has massively let you down and then been a fucking prick instead of crawling on bended knee to apologise.

Tell the hospital staff you do NOT want him to be allowed in, and go straight to your parents house on discharge.

Otherwise in a years time you will just be yet another poster complaining about their abusive / arsehole partner. And in 5 years time you'll have another kid or two and stuck in this awful relationship because you now can't escape. All the time setting a terrible example to your kids of what a relationship should be.

jaseyraex · 20/02/2018 16:19

Oh OP, I'm sorry your induction is taking so long. I was similar with mine. Those babies can be stubborn, if they're not ready then they're not budging! Hopefully they'll have space for you soon to try and progress you further. I hope all goes well however it finally starts happening.

I'd go to your mums when baby is here and you can leave hospital. She sounds very ready to welcome you both at home! It doesn't have to mean splitting up with your boyfriend if you don't want to, but some space might make him buck up his ideas and realise what a fool he's being. Take care whatever you decide Flowers

Stilllivinginazoo · 20/02/2018 17:49

Hope things start moving along for you soon OP
Make the most of the sleep while you can(hard I know when frustrated and wanting to meet your lovely new baby)

sportyfool · 20/02/2018 18:37

Sorry to hear you are in your own .. it's so easy to say leave him etc but you at your most vulnerable and scared right now so expect him to support you . It's nothing the nurses and midwives haven't seen before so don't worry about talking to them x

Ginkypig · 20/02/2018 23:20

I agree with others saying sleep while you can it'll happen before you know it.

NewSingleMummy · 20/02/2018 23:38

Good luck OP

Original poster
lovelystar · 21/02/2018 01:35

No news yet! Still just waiting to be moved down to labour ward. I guess it's a bit lkke a holiday because I'm not feeling ill and get looked after :) fingers crossed little one males am appearance soon

OP posts:
UniversalAunt · 21/02/2018 02:53

Lovely,

Just popped on to find out how you are.
Hopefully you are zzzzz or very busy bringing baby on.
You may be alone at the moment but multiple MNers are with you in spirit.

Auntie x

kubex · 21/02/2018 03:39

You've got this lovelystar !!

Focus on the safe arrival of your little one for now - you can deal with your man child afterwards.

Thinking of you! Flowers

MadeForThis · 21/02/2018 04:10

Good luck. Glad you got some rest.

Stilllivinginazoo · 21/02/2018 05:36

Thinking of you OPFlowers

Original poster
lovelystar · 21/02/2018 06:31

Thank you everyone for your well wishes. Been informed I'm now going to the Labour ward so hopefully they can try more things to get stiff Kickstarted! Have text other half just to let him know what's going on but I doubt he'll be awake for a long time yet. I'm all on my own at the moment which is stressful, I'm scared of being in pain on my own Sad. I don't even know how to properly hold a baby and I've never changed a nappy before...

OP posts:
Original poster
lovelystar · 21/02/2018 06:31

Stuff*

OP posts:
Biscuits101 · 21/02/2018 06:37

One of my biggest fears was of being in labour on my own and I actually was for 14 hours overnight, it was fine! Also had no idea about babies and had to ask the midwife to show me how to do a nappy, they did no problem, soon you'll be doing them with your eyes shut! Good luck, you are already doing fab! X

Afreshcuppateaplease · 21/02/2018 06:40

Op you will be fine!

All new mums have those worries Flowers

userabcname · 21/02/2018 06:42

Good luck OP!!!

CyclingFanGirl · 21/02/2018 06:51

Hi @lovelystar,
Have been following this for the last few days, I think you are doing amazingly and you will be fine.
I was also induced and it took days, once you're in labour ward you will have a one to one midwife and they are way more support in labour than most partners (even ones who are really caring just don't quite know what to do). Is there any chance your Mum could come in? I remember you saying she would be back soon.
I also had never held a baby before DD was born, we muddled through just fine, the midwives supported me through the first 2 nappies (far less difficult than it seems) and taught me how to hold her, DH looked up info in the internet about how to bath her, HV helped me to breastfeed. My parents offered lots of support and advice (they are a long way away). You will muddle through, there will be tough days (the baby blues are awful at about day 4-8), but if I can do it so can you.
In your position I would go to my Mum after the birth, it will give you a chance to rest, recover and be looked after. You need time to think things through and that will be hard enough with a baby, even harder with someone who seems at best to be extremely selfish
Thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well and you have a beautiful baby to hold soon.
Flowers

LavenderDoll · 21/02/2018 06:58

Good luck OP
Hope you have your mum there and he keeps his distance

billybagpuss · 21/02/2018 06:59

Good luck, don't worry you'll be fine, they will show you all the nappy, bathing feeding and how to hold stuff.

BrutusMcDogface · 21/02/2018 07:22

Oh you poor thing, this is dragging on! I really hope today is the day. Totally agree you will be absolutely fine with the midwife; many of us find that when in labour we retreat "into ourselves" and don't need anyone there anyway. You can do this! Good luck Flowers

jessei · 21/02/2018 07:27

You might be better off in labour on your own op. I was petrified of being alone and in pain but actually I preferred it, as when my dp was with me he just moaned and asked me annoying questions Hmm I hope today is the day!

Wakeuptortoise · 21/02/2018 07:30

Just when you think you've heard it all you read this. I cannot believe he has done this to you.

RandomMess · 21/02/2018 07:39

Huge hugs, tell the midwives you are on your own and your partner is abusive. Once on the labour ward the ratio of staff care is much higher.

Please try and relax Thanks

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 21/02/2018 07:41

Good luck op!

Wakeuptortoise · 21/02/2018 07:42

Best wishes with the labour.
Sorry pressed post too soon.

Swipe left for the next trending thread