to ask if I've f*cked up

[pipandco]

Sometimes I have these moments of panic that I've fucked up in terms of a career...so here we go. Sorry if this ends up pretty long!

So I graduated 2015 age 23.

I'm from Surrey and most people I know went straight from uni into London on graduate schemes. I didn't feel at all ready for this- mainly because most were 2 year long schemes and I didn't want to commit to that especially as I was clueless as to what I wanted to do. On top of that (and this may sound silly to some or like a cop-out) but my self esteem was at it's all time lowest around this time. For various reasons my confidence had taken a dive from around age 19 and I almost didn't feel good enough for a "proper adult job." I just didn't want the suit-tie-commute-into-london-corporate-life that my peers were going for.

Not wanting to move home, I decided on a total whim to take a job in a hotel in a very remote location that offered accommodation. It was intending to stay until the end of the year but I ended up there for 14 months (September of 2016 I left.)

I knew I really wanted to travel for a year or more at some point before settling down into a career. I planned on doing this from around the end of 2016. However various things kept me at home- mainly family issues- that meant I really had to postpone. Again not wanting to commit to a career per se as I really wasn't sure how long I'd be around for, I ended up working in a family friend's cafe for a few months and then went onto nannying. A friend of my mum's was looking for a full time nanny. I had a fair bit of childcare experience so thought why not. I did that until January of this year.

Now finally I am off to do the travelling I always talked about. In March I am heading to NZ and will make my way around NZ, Aus, and SE Asia from there. I'll be working a little in Aus to keep the funds up.

It'll be around March 2019 that I get back, which will make me 2 months short of being 27.

I understand plenty of people have a career change at any age, but I really fear that employees will look at me and essentially wonder wtf I have been doing with myself since graduating in 2015. Hotel work, nannying, bits of retail/cafe work with no direction. I should stress that my work ethic isn't at question- I've worked consistently since age 15 and all through university. I definitely feel like my mental health was a big reason why I didn't go straight into the workforce. Then desperately wanting to travel meant I faffed around for far too long.

I'm also worried as I know I definitely don't want to work in London but am not sure where to head to! I've visited Manchester a lot and love it so am thinking perhaps there.

I know comparing oneself to others is a huge mistake but I can't help but see my peers on facebook going up in the world and I feel really lost and annoyed at myself for falling behind. I have a vague idea of what I'd like to do after my travels, but as I say I'm worried employees will think I'm a bit of a f*ck up. I also worry about getting on the property ladder. After my travels I should have around £20k left of savings, which obviously won't get me far!

Honest opinions would be amazing. Sorry for rambling!

I did a second degree straight after graduated from my first and so only actually finished uni age 27. I now earn an excellent salary and do a job I love. You’re absolutely right to take your time and please don’t feel you’ve messed up before you’re even 30!

Great idea to travel. Life is too short to worry about following the 'norm'. Be your own person. I employ a lot of staff and the most successful ones tend to be those who can think for themselves and who have had some colour and variety in their lives. Essentially, plough your own furrow. Also, piece of advice ; ditch Facebook immediately. It gives a distorted view of real life and does not help anyone who has low self-esteem or confidence. Carpe Diem.

I know someone in a similar position to you but older - travelled for 5 years. He found that he needed to get extra relevant qualifications to get professional level job, his degree wasn't enough. Could be a short course, part time, OU, funded by voluntary organisation you volunteer for.
Film/tv as a career is on a par with nannying or travelling for most people - insecure, badly paid, short term contracts. Though you could get lucky.
I know several people who started work straight after graduation and are managing coffee shops.
And others who are sick of the daily grind and want to drop out.
So I don't think your chosen path is any worse that if you had gone straight into a career after uni. And you will have more fun travelling!

I had a VERY patchy career record before doing a mature student course ending at age 37 and I got a job right away. Employers will look at what you've done as valuable life experience on top of your education. I'm sure you'll find it pretty easy to get a job anywhere with your resume. By the by, Brighton, Edinburgh and Aberdeen are all wonderful places to live! And if I'd ever had any savings I'd have been amazed - your 20k is a wonderful back-up sum.

Agree, @Draylon!

And there are very few millennials for whom an extra few years' employment will make any discernible difference to their pensions or retirement age. That kind of job security just isn't there any more.

Darling.... you’ll be 27! You have at least 40 years (as it stands at the minute lol) to develop your career. You’re only young once.

OP, I dicked about in a selection of low paid, no future jobs. I was 32 when I went to uni the first time, 35 when I graduated. I temped for a while after graduation, which led me to a career I believed in. I qualified four years ago at the age of 45, and still love what I do. Do your thing, have a wonderful time. I hope it leads you somewhere fabulous. It’s never too late to make changes.

OP I could empathise with your post. Like you, I struggled with MH and self esteem issues - still do, but they were especially acute in uni/early 20s age. I did a gap year before uni as I panicked about which uni to go to and ended up reapplying to another and used the time to travel. Then a gap year during uni due to MH, then after graduating aged 23 I had a panic about what to do with the rest of my life and took a while before getting into a 'grown up job'. I also have high-achieving parents and went to a private school that spoon-fed us a bit so I struggled with making my own decisions. I'm now early 30s and on the first rung of a career ladder I feel happy with but I have managers older than me and money is a worry.

Friends who were more pragmatic and 'got on with things' a bit more have got themselves into good positions where they've given themselves options due to good salaries, good experience and getting on the property ladder. Some are able to travel with work or take amazing holidays. I'm glad I got to travel, but with hindsight I wish I hadn't overthought things too much. FWIW, I have a friend who spent a full 3 years traveling the world extensively in their 20s after a large inheritance, and it still hasn't cured the travel bug - the world is a big place and there's always more to see. Is there still an element of you having low confidence that's making you put things off? I found CBT immensely helpful with getting confidence to progress from my first job.

I’ve dicked around in a hard working sort of way for the last 20 odd years. I’m 43 and finally studying Law after graduating in 1993 in a subject that I’ve never since used. This time it’s what I really want. The last 20 years have been valuable life experience. It’s not a problem.

OP, I too worked from about age 14, I always wanted to be independent.

I also did a degree in arch / Anth, and now I work in telly after changing careers at age 30 and starting again as a runner. I have all my ducks in a row with respect to retirement and pensions, and I wasn’t in nearly such a strong position as you financially in my 20s.

No-one cares what your degree subject was in this industry. In fact the more life experience and diversity of knowledge you have the better (it all contributes to richer scripting / finding good contributors and so on).

Have a great time travelling, there are no right or wrong answers here. Almost everyone I know changed careers at around 30.

Feel free to pm me if you want a chat!

Why not try get work in 'vaguely' what you want to do while you are travelling...
the 1st job of a graduate is often poorly paid if paid at all (in London).
A good trick is to get a temp role as your first job and then jump onto the second as a proper engineer/professional.
A lot of people get caught in their first job and don't change. Mistake as your wages will be reduced.
People with overseas experience are often seen as resourceful people so try to get work more related to what you really want to do with your life.
Being a nanny is just 'hiding' from life and is OK while you can live at home off your parents.

Travelling is fun too but can be a lot more interesting if you work abroad. you meet the native people and not just another bunch of 'travellers'. Make those jobs count as experience.

Why not find companies in your chosen field write and ask if they have any summer or temp 'roles' for foreign graduates ..
Be inventive.

Don’t worry at all, I’m also from Surrey and went travelling at 26 (I’m now 35!) I didn’t get a degree when I was younger, I went to Cyprus for 6 months at 21 and temped for a bit before finding a job that I loved until I decided to go traveling!
Don’t sell yourself short and also just let life Happen, you might end up staying in Australia or New Zealand, I met my husband at Rio carnival 9 years ago today and we traveled round South America and Australia for over a year! We now live in Dublin and I have a good job, doing a degree through my work and have a baby on the way (in two weeks!)
The fact you will have money to come home to is AMAZING!! We came back with nothing and now own a four bed detached house by the sea! Just so you know anything can and will happen, but have a lot of fun while you find out what you want to do!!!!
Please don’t judge yourself based on others that you know, I’d love to go back in time and be setting off on my travelling adventure again! I’d do it all over again and not change a thing!! Good luck and have the best time ever!! Xx

PS..
You are right perhaps to be worried a bit..
A degree not used is useless after a couple of years.
Degrees are just to get your first jobs and after a couple of years its your experience that people care about.

So travel but use it to get ex pat work experiences.

That's how Aussies and Kiwis travel the world, taking contract roles and then travelling in between contracts/temp jobs.
Try volunteering perhaps but in a role relating to your degree.

Most industries ask for a degree and do not care what it is in, unless it is for a specific technical role. Media degrees are mostly useless, I have one, it never helped me, I have had boring jobs which I could have done without a degree and I wish I studied something better. You need to find out what you want to do in the industry. Your degree would be very welcome in a researcher role. Otherwise, get specific training, if you wish to be a journalist, make up artist or operate a camera. Look out for work as a runner and apply for BBC trainee schemes and opportunities.

OP it’s so important to be aware of your mental health and to do what’s right for you, so I think you’ve been sensible and very self-aware. I expect this has been said above but if you are really worried about the future could you get a bit of experience during your travels in the field(s) that you are interested in? That will help you clarify your thoughts, will help with job hunting on your return, and in my experience working or volunteering abroad is by far the best way to learn about different countries and cultures, and to meet people. Have a great time and best of luck with all of it x

I see it had indeed all been said before! Best of luck x

As an employer when I recruit I'm looking for firstly, do you have the skills and knowledge i have defined as essential for the role. Second, do you have the skills and experience I've defined as desirable for the role. If you score highly on those then you're in a good place in terms of could you do the job. After that I look at team fit, are you bringing personality/characteristics that we lack in the team, would the existing team get on with you? At no point am I thinking about age.

So have you harmed your career chances by doing other stuff first? I don't think so. Think about so the transferable skills you've got and make the most of those.

I'd also say think about what you want. Not what other people want for you. Not everyone wants a big, high earning career. True, if you don't want the career you might struggle to pay for the lifestyle that goes with it but if you don't desperately want that then it's not a problem. If you do want that big career and lifestyle then I'd suggest cracking on with it!

Good luck.

Life is for living and for following opportunities as they arise.

You didn't follow your friends sheep-like to London because you trod your own path.

Well done!

Contrary to the belief of many people, you don't have to have a career and you don't have to work in London for a day in your life if you don't fancy it.
I live in a beautiful area of the SW that people move to in order to escape from London and bring up families, and have worked for the same company for over a decade having started there on a 6-month temp contract. I may work as a buyer, but I don't really say I am a buyer because it's not the very core of my being! My various roles have given me enough money to buy a house, sell it and buy another one, because you can get a 4-bed house here for £200k. And I'm home by 6 every night.

You may find you have a year or so of struggle when you return from travelling but if you can get your foot in somewhere like I did then happy days.

London isn’t for everyone. Corporate ladder isn’t for everyone. You seem to be drifting g and 30 years ago I was too and I drifted into amazing jobs.

You may on your travels discover something really interesting for a career choice. I did this taking a five year break teaching English as foreign language to earn money sometimes with accommodation included. Came back, did go back to Uni to upgrade skills. Obviously started work on lower salary than those who had left and gone straight into work. Made it up in no time at all as my experience travelling seemed to equip me with skills other didn't have e.g. bit of different languages, customs for foreign clients and a much more mature outlook on life. Go travel, don't over think it, you want to so do it. You may well find you aren't getting what you expected from it but unless you give it a go you will always be wishing you had.

Success can mean different things to different people. If you are happy and have enough money to cover your basic living expenses and a few little 'luxuries ' there is no need to compare yourself with other people.

Travel now before you have ties. I don't have many regrets but sometimes wish I'd been a bit more adventurous in my 20's .

And £20k savings at the age of 27 is brilliant! Well done!

You’re not behind!! You’ve done very well, gotten valuable working experience, and enjoyed your life. I think you deserve a pat on the back honestly. The only thing I would say is, always get a degree in what you really want and not what anyone tells you, even your mother! Other than that, don’t worry, you are still very very young!!

The only other thing is don’t discount children in the future. You will find as you get older that your priorities may well change, mine did! And for me, having my ds was the best thing I ever did, my career does not even begin to compare as much as means, it pales in comparison in the grand scheme of things.