to ask if I've f*cked up

[pipandco]

Sometimes I have these moments of panic that I've fucked up in terms of a career...so here we go. Sorry if this ends up pretty long!

So I graduated 2015 age 23.

I'm from Surrey and most people I know went straight from uni into London on graduate schemes. I didn't feel at all ready for this- mainly because most were 2 year long schemes and I didn't want to commit to that especially as I was clueless as to what I wanted to do. On top of that (and this may sound silly to some or like a cop-out) but my self esteem was at it's all time lowest around this time. For various reasons my confidence had taken a dive from around age 19 and I almost didn't feel good enough for a "proper adult job." I just didn't want the suit-tie-commute-into-london-corporate-life that my peers were going for.

Not wanting to move home, I decided on a total whim to take a job in a hotel in a very remote location that offered accommodation. It was intending to stay until the end of the year but I ended up there for 14 months (September of 2016 I left.)

I knew I really wanted to travel for a year or more at some point before settling down into a career. I planned on doing this from around the end of 2016. However various things kept me at home- mainly family issues- that meant I really had to postpone. Again not wanting to commit to a career per se as I really wasn't sure how long I'd be around for, I ended up working in a family friend's cafe for a few months and then went onto nannying. A friend of my mum's was looking for a full time nanny. I had a fair bit of childcare experience so thought why not. I did that until January of this year.

Now finally I am off to do the travelling I always talked about. In March I am heading to NZ and will make my way around NZ, Aus, and SE Asia from there. I'll be working a little in Aus to keep the funds up.

It'll be around March 2019 that I get back, which will make me 2 months short of being 27.

I understand plenty of people have a career change at any age, but I really fear that employees will look at me and essentially wonder wtf I have been doing with myself since graduating in 2015. Hotel work, nannying, bits of retail/cafe work with no direction. I should stress that my work ethic isn't at question- I've worked consistently since age 15 and all through university. I definitely feel like my mental health was a big reason why I didn't go straight into the workforce. Then desperately wanting to travel meant I faffed around for far too long.

I'm also worried as I know I definitely don't want to work in London but am not sure where to head to! I've visited Manchester a lot and love it so am thinking perhaps there.

I know comparing oneself to others is a huge mistake but I can't help but see my peers on facebook going up in the world and I feel really lost and annoyed at myself for falling behind. I have a vague idea of what I'd like to do after my travels, but as I say I'm worried employees will think I'm a bit of a f*ck up. I also worry about getting on the property ladder. After my travels I should have around £20k left of savings, which obviously won't get me far!

Honest opinions would be amazing. Sorry for rambling!

Pancake will you give it a rest telling the OP how much harder her life is going to be now in your opinion. You are projecting so much and seem absolutely intent on making her feel bad. Why?

The OP is where she is now, and she's not fucked up anything at all. Quite the opposite. She's about to embark on an epic year long adventure and will in all likelihood do absolutely fine after. Especially with the positive attitude she seems to have. Stop trying to knock her down. There are so many many many examples of people who didn't start in careers immediately and did very well. They are not wrong. Their lives are not harder. You seem to think they, and I, have all fucked up. You're obviously not happy with your decisions but not everyone is you... I happen to be very happy.

You remind me of someone I know. She's also a massive Debbie Downer and likely to regret every decision she makes because she can't see the positive in anything. Her life choices aren't the problem. She is. The OP doesn't seem to be that kind of person so through that alone I know she's going to be ok.

Pancake my visas for both Australia and New Zealand are not tourists ones.

Also did you see the email I posted a few posts up? That was sent about two months ago so of course since then I've thought about getting work experience while in Aus.. would be pretty foolish of me to get an email like that and ignore the advice!

I think people are being hard on pancake, I don't think she's trying to put down or depress the OP, just being realistic, and giving the fruit of her experience.

I do think the OP sounds quite unfocused about what she is expecting to do or get out of this trip. She's now talking about 'internships' which are highly competitive and have to be applied for, yet she is leaving in March.

Well then thats a significantly different scenario to what you presented at the start of the thread where you said that your oz/nz work would be to fund further travel as opposed to industry work experience. Then you brushed over several posts about using your travels for work experience, but now you're all about that and have been for several months....

ridingwindhorses I'm going to New Zealand in March. The work experience if I managed to do it would be in Sydney. Having lived there for a year I know that running work isn't all that hard to come by especially unpaid which isn't ideal but I'd be willing to do it to get a foot in the door.

OP - as an employer, a variety of work experience, especially working with the public, would be viewed as a good thing and personally, I think travelling teaches you independence, self reliance and self motivation which are excellent characteristics to have. I always look at someone's attitude in interview - I can teach them the job but I can't magic up a good attitude. You are 26 not 46 - do what is right for you, not what is expected. Have a fantastic travelling year and come back ready to start the next stage.

Oh dear I’ve touched a few nerves on here. I was never setting out to make you feel thick OP, so I’m sorry for that. I was just highlighting that your chosen degree might be seen by some as less rigorous than others.

Anyway, it’s moot now. Agree to disagree.

It’s a shame you didn’t pursue your dream at the age of 19, and effectively seem bullied (in as nice a way as possible) into a more academic uni course.

Good luck getting into TV when you come back. The pp who suggested getting a decent camera and documenting your travels is on to something. That would show decent iniative.

pancake I can send you a screenshot of the email in case you think I've made it up.
I didn't brush over any thing. I was actually sat with my mum as a lot were rolling in and discussing this. Most of what I've responded to are either the negative ones (ie yours) or the ones asking what career direction I'm thinking of... I've replied directly to very few.

A lot of internships are unpaid.
The kinda work that funds further travel is usually hospitality/agriculture etc type work unless you have desirable professional skills.

You did say that the "work" part of your plans was to get extra travel money. So have you now secured a paid internship?

Also (and I’m sure this will be taken as being negative too) justifying your decision based on the experiences of annonymous posters in an internet forum is a weird way to justify the choices you’re making at a vital juncture of your life.

And if you’re doing paid work make sure you’ve got the right visa. Otherwise you’ll be delaying your career for a few years longer while await release from prison.

pancake you really are determined to make me feel like shit and look an idiot aren't you. If you'd really like a full rundown-

Having lived in Sydney for a year I have s few contacts one of whom owns a hotel in Melbourne. He's offered me Work and accommodation there which I intend on doing for perhaps 2-4 months. At $24 an hour I'll be able to save a substantial amount working 50+ hour weeks- up to £900 a week. I won't need to spend the entire year in paid work to save a decent amount.

Flouncy, what the hell? You are now criticising the fact the OP posted here for advice? Best tell the whole of mumsnet then that they are all weird for ever having posted on here..!

I'll be working a little in Aus to keep the funds up.

^just to reassure myself that Im not imagining things.

Now its an unpaid internship

Fine. Great. But dont rewrite your own thread then pounce on anyone who replied based on what you origionally posted.

Flouncy yes thank you I know about visas and have my sorted.

Pancake honestly are you twisting my words for your own amusement ?

Why does working in aus to keep my funds up mean I'll be doing paid work the whole year.

Equally why does doing unpaid work experience mean I'll be doing that the whole year ?

Again totally different to your OP

"Ill be working a bit as well as doing some unpaid work experience" is an ENTIRELY different thread..

pipandco if I'd listened to the naysayers I wouldn't be where I am now, I'd still be in my box where those people wanted me to stay. Just saying.

Not criticising her for posting here looking for advice, or those who post parking threads/nonsense that doesn’t really matter, but basing a big decision or justifying a choice based on annonymous comments from any old sod is an odd thing to do.

Why does working in aus to keep my funds up mean I'll be doing paid work the whole year.

Equally why does doing unpaid work experience mean I'll be doing that the whole year ?

It doesnt. But your op only mentioned one of the above so stop lashing out at my for replying based on the information you gave us!

Why are these people trying to scare you into thinking your life will be awful? ^
^
Words from my mum sitting right next to me. Oh dear

Tell your mum: Because for many people who are unhappy, it makes them feel better to piss on other people's chips.

Pancake ok so perhaps I should've mentioned the email in my OP. It didn't occur to me but fair enough in hindsight. But your words were along the lines of "I don't know why doing work experience while abroad doesn't appeal to you."

I literally never said that. I hadn't even responded to those posts at that point. Why not say "posters recommending Work experience have the right idea" rather than telling me I'd flat out said that it didn't appeal when I hadn't said anything vaguely along those lines. Are you really telling me that if my OP had said "I'll do
Some paid work for a while and also see what I can do about getting my foot in the door" you'd have been supportive because I can't see it.

Are you really telling me that if my OP had said "I'll do Some paid work for a while and also see what I can do about getting my foot in the door" you'd have been supportive because I can't see it.

Well given that I WAS one of those earlier posters suggesting you combine travel with CV building, erm yes, obviously!

Only after several of those posts were skimmed over and your replies still implied you were going to work on your career after travel, did I say that I didnt understand why you didnt seem interested in combining the two.

But keep lashing out at me if you think youve got it all figured out. You really didnt post that way at the start.

Pancake I don't have it all figured out at all which is why I'm on here. Tv and film is highly
Competitive. Even if I get the odd bit of work experience it could add up to nothing. Especially when there's people out there who've been passionate about the subject since they were 14 and can prove it. Yes I have a vague idea but I absolutely don't have it all figured out. Anyway as I say constructive criticism is welcomed and valued but I do feel like you've just been finding any way possible to put me down. I'm off to walk the puppy.