to ask if I've f*cked up

[pipandco]

Sometimes I have these moments of panic that I've fucked up in terms of a career...so here we go. Sorry if this ends up pretty long!

So I graduated 2015 age 23.

I'm from Surrey and most people I know went straight from uni into London on graduate schemes. I didn't feel at all ready for this- mainly because most were 2 year long schemes and I didn't want to commit to that especially as I was clueless as to what I wanted to do. On top of that (and this may sound silly to some or like a cop-out) but my self esteem was at it's all time lowest around this time. For various reasons my confidence had taken a dive from around age 19 and I almost didn't feel good enough for a "proper adult job." I just didn't want the suit-tie-commute-into-london-corporate-life that my peers were going for.

Not wanting to move home, I decided on a total whim to take a job in a hotel in a very remote location that offered accommodation. It was intending to stay until the end of the year but I ended up there for 14 months (September of 2016 I left.)

I knew I really wanted to travel for a year or more at some point before settling down into a career. I planned on doing this from around the end of 2016. However various things kept me at home- mainly family issues- that meant I really had to postpone. Again not wanting to commit to a career per se as I really wasn't sure how long I'd be around for, I ended up working in a family friend's cafe for a few months and then went onto nannying. A friend of my mum's was looking for a full time nanny. I had a fair bit of childcare experience so thought why not. I did that until January of this year.

Now finally I am off to do the travelling I always talked about. In March I am heading to NZ and will make my way around NZ, Aus, and SE Asia from there. I'll be working a little in Aus to keep the funds up.

It'll be around March 2019 that I get back, which will make me 2 months short of being 27.

I understand plenty of people have a career change at any age, but I really fear that employees will look at me and essentially wonder wtf I have been doing with myself since graduating in 2015. Hotel work, nannying, bits of retail/cafe work with no direction. I should stress that my work ethic isn't at question- I've worked consistently since age 15 and all through university. I definitely feel like my mental health was a big reason why I didn't go straight into the workforce. Then desperately wanting to travel meant I faffed around for far too long.

I'm also worried as I know I definitely don't want to work in London but am not sure where to head to! I've visited Manchester a lot and love it so am thinking perhaps there.

I know comparing oneself to others is a huge mistake but I can't help but see my peers on facebook going up in the world and I feel really lost and annoyed at myself for falling behind. I have a vague idea of what I'd like to do after my travels, but as I say I'm worried employees will think I'm a bit of a f*ck up. I also worry about getting on the property ladder. After my travels I should have around £20k left of savings, which obviously won't get me far!

Honest opinions would be amazing. Sorry for rambling!

Careful, Pancake will be on here in a minute telling you how daft you are to have a puppy and how it's the worst thing ever.

Take no notice of the 'it's better to be almost mortgage free and settled before you travel' brigade. Life is for living and although the grass seems greener on the other side it rarely is. I bet a lot of people are really envious of you especially those who have spent their younger years worrying about mortgages, children and divorces. You are still young and have years of opportunities in front of you.

Why are these people trying to scare you into thinking your life will be awful?

Words from my mum sitting right next to me

Is this the same mother who scared you into doing an academic degree when you wanted to do media studies? Fwiw I think she was right, your actual degree is respected and has a much wider application.

The root concern is probably the same - that you seem quite vague and unfocused and a bit naive.

Your life will be fine btw but you do need to get a shift on.

I actually think Pancake has made some valid points and all the accusations of negativity are ott. The Op posted asking for opinions, not everyone was going to say "yeah, what the hell, go off and see the world and don't worry about the future". I agree there is an element of living vicariously through the Ops plans though ultimately no one here is responsible for whatever she chooses to do.

pipandco it sounds like you want to go traveling and that's fine but it is possible that on your return you'll struggle to get into the area you are interested in. Or you might not. That's the chance you take because some employers will see your various jobs and travel as a positive and others will consider it a lack of focus, you can't control which way that will go. In your shoes I would be concerned about getting to a point where employers might look at my very varied years after university as a negative but admittedly I have a cautious nature.

I also know somebody who got her degree, didn't feel ready initially (for the same reasons as you actually so I sympathise) and tried various jobs here and there but ultimately didn't "stick" with anything.
She's now 35 and at this stage her chequered work history pretty much rules her out of a job in the area she's qualified for. In her case though, family money means she won't struggle for a roof over her head so at least there's that but it's fair to say she has regrets. She's working part time in a low skilled job that she's not especially interested in and she feels quite "left behind" in life compared to her friends.

On the other hand I know someone who never came back from her year of travel, goes from country to country doing various jobs, meeting interesting people and seeing the world. She loves her life!

but I do feel like you've just been finding any way possible to put me down.
Like when I defended Anthropology as a useful degree?

OP I feel youve plucked me out as the personification of your doubts and shouting me down is making you feel like your vanquishing your deamons or whatever...

Ive not criticised your PAST choices Ive advocated not putting off the sensible stuff any longer. Which doesnt mean HAVE NO FUN because the career stuff can be fun and combined with fun.

You are right where you are suppose to be in life!! Travel & enjoy!! You are still sooo young and have your whole life ahead of you to settle down & work.

Good, balanced post from clowns

I agree there is an element of living vicariously

People absolutely do do this a lot when they themselves would take a more pragmatic approach with their own lives.

Its all moot anyway since now the OP says shes getting on it with the work experience anyway.

But do beware of the "dont think just jump, it'll be FINE" posters. Very few would actually follow their own advice....

FlouncyDoves of course OP doesn't know the correct visa to suit her despite having had this on the cards for years. She's completely stupid and naive remember, with her doss degree

Sorry I haven't rtft, but if I was you I would get a mortgage on any property, even a tiny studio somewhere affordable, with that 20 grand, before I went travelling, and rent it out.
Owning a property is what makes the difference in life. A person can have no career, and a pretty rubbish job, but if they own a property they are pretty much sorted.

Who has said "don't think just jump?". Oh you mean those posters, like myself, who have said she didn't fuck up just because she will be about 5 years older than some other people, coming straight out of uni? Those posters who haven't projected all their negativity onto the OP because they are unhappy with their own choices? For what it's worth I have followed my own advice. I'm absolutely FINE. In a better position than most actually.

For what it's worth, I spent my twenties travelling. Came back and started postgrad aged 26. Now I'm 40, good career, mortgage nearly paid off, decent pension plan and a great family.

Yes, some careers want you to start young, but I know lots of people who have started again or changed career and done well, and others who started out career focused and burnt out hugely. It'll work out. I would recommend coming back and hitting the ground running - volunteer in some areas you're interested in and build your experience, maybe do some courses or something. But you can do it. I had one friend from school who went back to medical school at 24 (little younger than you, but everyone else was 18!) and is now a doctor.

It's maybe a little later but I really think you've got the time, esp as odds are we'll be working until 70 anyway.

Charley50

I would have agreed with you 10 years ago but BTL isnt the easy cash cow it once was.

Dontforgetyourtowel I wasnt refering to the been there done done that or who have recruiting / industry experience or whatever and have positive things to say. There are however always a "go for it" crowd who wouldnt and havent been quite so cavalier with their own lives.

At 27, even if you have fuck*d up, there is plenty of time to recover. Plan ahead and forget about what you could have done.

I'm not saying BTL is easy money, but if it's possible, it's still a good idea to get on the property ladder. With that money, in some areas, she can

I'm absolutely FINE. In a better position than most actually. Yes and that's great Dontforget but it's not true for everyone and it's not wrong to point that out.

We all say things like "life is short" but it's not all that short actually and often (not always) there is a point by which you need to be getting established in your chosen career or it can become more difficult to get into or progress in that career.

IF a person also hopes to eg buy their own home, have a comfortable living, save for the future, retire before the age of (whatever the hell it'll be!) then yes, decisions made now are likely to have a bearing on that. Boring and practical I know but true for most people.

I disagree. These days a short term BTL could be a money pit.

Better IMO to ring fence it in a non instant access fund / isa of some sort and then use it to put a deposit on an actual home to live in on return.

The property "ladder" isnt what it was in that the days of any property = a good investment are kinda gone and its a bit more complicated now, especially in the BTL field.

You're probably right.

I would also take a chunk out of the 20K and put it in a private pension fund to compensate for the travel year. I am SO glad I did that in my 20s in the years I was working less, because I didnt find myself in a position to overpay any pension in my 30s to make up for it if I hadnt done it at the time.

Everything is just shit in your life isn't it Pancake? I bet if someone brought you a cupcake you'd tell them that sugar is a killer. If someone said how lovely it is that the sun's out you'd go on about skin cancer. Someone is changing careers they are going to suffer forever. God you're depressing.

Enjoy your travels and try to gain as much experience / take as many opportunities as you can while away - you never know where they may lead!

Your generation are going to be working for a long time, so make the most of this time and don't worry too much. The corporate DC pensions that your peers are paying into now are unlikely to be worth all that much in 50 - 60 years time, you'll have a lot of time to play catch up.

In my twenties, I didn't really know what I wanted to do other than see the world. Did the working holiday visa thing in oz, travelled in Asia and interned in NY - which led to a very well paying job when I finally returned to the UK at age 26. By 30, I'd "settled down" with my DP and bought a place in London - while the mates who had gone into corporate careers straight after uni were having a change of heart, quitting their jobs and going travelling! In your twenties and thirties, you'll see peoples lives ebb and flow, a bit different to the linear achievement-based experience of school and university.

So, there are no "right" answers - you've just got to follow your nose and make the most of what comes your way. Good luck!

Your generation is, even...

I've not read the thread op, but if you think creatively you don't have to do the conventional thing.
My best friend lived in an eco community in Devon. No mortgage, little savings, but it's the most gorgeous place in a fantastic location. Costs are low so her ordinary job ( she manages a gp surgery) gives her plenty to live on.
Another friend lives in a popular city and does air bnb hosting. She got permission from her land lord, and is now buying the place off him!
I realise neither of these things may appeal to you, but it's interesting to look at different types of lifestyle, and what is possible.

Shellyboobs I'm not sure where I said that I wouldn't use travel for work experience / internship / short courses..where did I say that doesn't appeal? and you seem to be really anti travelling lol as others have said travelling in your 20s is very different to doing it in your 50s. Yes it is a risk taking time out to do it now. I could skip it and start on the career. Perhaps that is more logical. But as I say I don't want to live with regrets and be on my deathbed wishing I'd done more.

So why the fuck are you asking then?

Crack on with tossing it off around Asia/Aus/Africa/wherever.

Op I have just restarted my teaching career at in the last few years at age 35 now. There is plenty of time.

You haven’t wasted your life.

People change all of the time.
Life isn’t perfect whether that be illness, divorce, kids. Often people don’t follow the ideal career path. Some do yes but not all.

Ok I am having to restart and get back on the property ladder but it’s all possible. I don’t regret my past. Sometimes I think I could be earning a lot more by now but to me theres more to life than being rich. I just need enough. I have enough.

Good luck and don’t worry x