Someone At Door 😣

[spagbol11]

It’s 19.13, I’ve just put 2yo dd to bed, done all my housework, been at work all day, so about to have a lovely hot bath and someone is knocking at my door, door is locked, not expecting anyone, my dp is working nights. AIBU not to answer or even check who it is...I’m scared

Rousette,

An emergency would mean calling 999.

A person who is having a stroke, call 999.

A dc friend in trouble? what is that about, why would they call to my door and not their parents' door, anyway they have other ways of communicating nowadays that don't involve doors of any kind.

A friend who needs my help? That's what phones are for.

Sister who's car has broken down, again phone me.

It is not isolationis, it is sensible and non time wasting, meaning I will help anyone I know, or a neighbour as long as I know it is them. A quick text or call will sort that out.

I cannot understand opening the door to all and sundry quite frankly. Take it as you will.

OP please don't apologise for asking advice! I never answer the door in an evening when it's dark and I'm home alone or just with the kids. I suffer from anxiety and the idea of it fills me with dread. Just get in the bath and enjoy the peace. If it's important they'll try back again another time or contact you in some other way. I don't think you're being unreasonable asking what others would do at all xx

Last time we had someone unexpected knock door late at night it was because I had left my car door open (in midst of toddler tantrum) and no one else all day had mentioned it. Come 9.30, 3 hooded teenagers knock on the door to tell me. I had my judgmental worries blown out of the water that night. I was so scared in the instant I opened the door and they were the most honest helpful people in my whole neighbourhood.

Time before last it was the police as some neighbours had a garage broken and were looking for witnesses.

If any of you had the neighbour the OP has you wouldn’t open the door either.

Agreed. But why on earth would you not put that very relevant fact in the initial post.

There’s apparently backstory but how the hell was anyone supposed to know that?!

Generally yes YABU to be scared of opening your door at 7.13pm

virtual I know that. However, maybe NDN is waiting for ambulance and wants some help whilst she waits. I've lived here 20 years and my NDNs don't know my number, they would run over and knock.

Mobile batteries run out too. All you say is why I advocate door chains and spyholes, that way I can help when I know who's knocking. If I felt uneasy after looking through spyhole, I wouldn't open the door.

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I thought you were someone near me til you said about three hooded teenagers! My friend and I knocked someone’s door at 9.30pm recently to tell them they’d left their car door open. But we’re much older and did not have hoods!

Door chains are reasonably easy to break and spyholes are useless if someone stands to the side a bit.

Ffs don't we all have chains and spy-holes?

I left the handbrake off my car and it was creeping its way down the street, I'm bloody glad my NDN knocked on my door!

You should be able to see who it is and speak to them without fully opening the door. Spyhole, CCTV, chain, adjacent window, whatever.

Last time someone knocked on my door in the evening it was a neighbour telling me I'd left my car lights on! If I hadn't answered that I'd have been stuffed the next morning.

I didn’t get out of the bath for the knock at my door! By the time I was in my towel and downstairs I figured they have gone, and I have my amazon safe place set..

Of course, it was amazon and they didn’t leave it in the safe place (again!!) cocks.

But yeah a knock on the door is a question not a demand so YANBU.

For those of us not in on the back story it’s a bit harsh of those who are to be off about it (and no even though I’ve been here years I don’t know how to find an OP’s other threads, when I AS someone I just get a shedload of random comments they made in 2009 on a thread about laundry!)

Just been thinking of the last 5 people who have knocked on my door unannounced.

1. the woman across the road to tell me she’d clipped the back of my car pulling off her drive and damaged the bumper. Gave me her insurance details and her apologies.
2. bloke doing an extension next door asking if I could flush the toilets as he was testing something to do with the plumbing.
3. milkman asking if we were happy with our service/if we wanted to change anything.
4. neighbour/family friend wanting to drop some little gifts around for the DC

No emergencies. 3/4 didn’t have my mobile number so couldn’t call. 3/4 were of some use to me. 1/4 of use to my neighbour.

Sorry, last 4 people!

Rousette,

I am not an ogre or an uncaring person either. All neighbours in the close are in a whatsapp group which is great.

I cannot be held responsible for anyone elses troubles if they do not forewarn me or their phone is out of charge, just stick it on charge to make a call.

This day and age is an absolute pain for people cold calling, trying to get me to change my religion, change internet providers, etc. and so on.

NO. Go away. I do not have time for this.

And the reality is that people will phone first, which means I will go to those in trouble rather than the other way around.

I know we cannot buy privacy but we can have bloody good try!

To all the people who NEVER answer the door if not expecting someone. Why?? I don’t understand?

What if you were new mum and had an emergency, knocked on a neighbours door for help?

Parcel delivery?

The police?

Someone with a parcel for you?

Next door neighbour has lost their cat and wants to check your garden (very specific but has happened to me, and yes I let them in, and they found their cat hiding under my shed)

A competition you have entered is here with a tv crew to announce you have won £100,000?

Lost child?

Jesus. People on here are weird sometimes. Look out the window or through the spy hole if you’re scared to answer your own front door. Even shout “who’s there?”

Baffling.

I always check through the upstairs window if I'm not expecting anyone. Ive never had a bad experience or anything and I know it seems paranoid. I just feel vulnerable home alone with kids. So no I don't think you're being unreasonable!

Personally, I don't answer the door (unless I'm expecting someone) if it's dark and I'm on my own. However, I do go and look through the front window blind just in case it's someone I know and I'm lucky that I can hear if it's my neighbour.

@spagbol11

Didn't you post about a CF neighbour?
If it's you then don't answer the door - but you knew that already...

Stay strong

i dont answer the door unless im expecting someone too many jw round here do my head in

Oh dear OP..ypu missed them!

This same thing just happened to me. I went to the window instead. I also find it intimidating to answer the door at night when I'm not expecting anyone. GO AWAY!

virtual I don't believe for one minute you are uncaring or an ogre! Not for one minute.

I agree we all do things differently. No whatsapp group here, some of my close NDNs wouldn't know what a whatsapp group was! Also our mobile reception is crap, so that cannot be relied on. I know a couple of neighbours mob numbers and that's it but the people round here would more likely knock on a door than text, it's the way we do it. Last time was a NDN saying her DH was out that night, and did I fancy coming over for a glass or six of .

Maybe we're unusual round here, and I do appreciate not everyone's the same.

spagbol11, i remember you from your other thread. you have no obligation to answer your door. it's your door, you can do what you like. esp if you think it's your cf neighbour. well done for not answering, and keep on not answering whenever you feel like it!