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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone At Door 😣

413 replies

spagbol11 · 15/02/2018 19:15

It’s 19.13, I’ve just put 2yo dd to bed, done all my housework, been at work all day, so about to have a lovely hot bath and someone is knocking at my door, door is locked, not expecting anyone, my dp is working nights. AIBU not to answer or even check who it is...I’m scared

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 16/02/2018 18:55

*wanting not walking

ferrier · 16/02/2018 19:08

If it's dark and I can't see who's there then I won't be answering the door either. More likely to be cold callers or worse. If it's a neighbour in need of help they can shout through the letterbox. Anyone else can text me first.

SeamusMacDubh · 16/02/2018 19:14

I don't think it's odd to think twice about just opening the door when you aren't expecting someone.

OP I was in your exact situation a couple of weeks ago. I was reading stories to DC (both under 5), no other adult home, around the same time of night. I thought I heard a knock but dismissed it as I wasn't expecting anyone, then they knocked again so I had to make sure my DC weren't going to injure themselves or do something silly, go downstairs, I turned the outside light on and then lifted the blind next to the front door to see who it was.

I don't think it's odd to feel vulnerable and think twice about opening the front door when you are the only adult at home with two small children (and a dog). It may only be 7ish at night but it's winter so that means it's dark. I also wonder whether anyone has been watching the house and realised that my DH is out long hours and I'm often home alone with my DC in the evening.

Ignore the people saying you're mental, I'd rather check and make sure it's okay first.

SuspiciouslyMinded · 16/02/2018 19:17

Chienrogue The difference is that you need to walk the streets to function in life. OP doesn’t need to answer her door to an unexpected stranger.

GnotherGnu · 16/02/2018 19:17

More likely to be cold callers or worse

Why? If anything it's more likely to be a courier delivery service, or a neighbour.

alisonm85 · 16/02/2018 19:18

Who do you think will play you in the movie?

SuspiciouslyMinded · 16/02/2018 19:19

Courier delivery service is usually not unexpected.

bigmummydragon · 16/02/2018 19:20

Just rtft and there are so many people on here! Op you have no need to apologise. I never, ever open the door until I know who is on the other side of it - for surely obvious reasons? Seems like half of mumsnet live in quaint little villages with zero crime rates and friendly bobbies on every corner. Op yanbu and please ignore all the stupid comments on this thread!

alisonm85 · 16/02/2018 19:20

So thank goodness you DID answer the door and was able to help the mentally ill man by contacting the proper authorities. Imagine you hadn’t answered the door, something terrible could have happened to him.

bigmummydragon · 16/02/2018 19:21

*so many mean ppl on here!

Dianag111 · 16/02/2018 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun · 16/02/2018 19:26

Bloody zombies, they never let up. No respect for privacy.

BrendasUmbrella · 16/02/2018 19:28

So thank goodness you DID answer the door and was able to help the mentally ill man by contacting the proper authorities. Imagine you hadn’t answered the door, something terrible could have happened to him.

Yes thank goodness, just as simple as you describe! How else could it have gone after all?

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 16/02/2018 19:32

3 Europeans? @Dianag111 were they from Stockport, Helsinki or Berlin? Could you be a bit more specific?

Havana7 · 16/02/2018 19:34

Milk man? Window cleaner? Wheelie bin cleaner? All call after 6 for payment

LanguidLobster · 16/02/2018 19:38

Spag have you looked into any methods to help anxiety and boundary setting?

robertaplumkin · 16/02/2018 19:40

i wouldn't shit myself and not answer/hide and it really pisses me off when all the cool girls come along and scorn that. it's ok to be scared. not fun but ok.

robertaplumkin · 16/02/2018 19:42

*would shit myself 🙄

BanyanTree · 16/02/2018 19:44

One of the best investments I ever made for my house was a lockable gate with an intercom. I also have sign saying no cold callers. My neighbours get loads of people down our street knocking on their doors. They rarely ring my bell but if they do I just tell them to move along.

Rainbowsandunicornsandpoop · 16/02/2018 19:44

I have severe anxiety and won't answer the door unless I'm expecting anyone (or I can see who they are) after a rather horrifying experiencr a few years ago.
It's rare, but sometimes people knocking on doors can be dangerous.
There's nothing wrong with being scared to answer the door, you never know what people have been through in the past.

Jobjobjob · 16/02/2018 19:44

or when it's dark when we're both in. You just never know these days.

That's the most irritating phrase I hear, "these days" How many fucking generations have said that!

Jobjobjob · 16/02/2018 19:46

My dh always answers the door when it's dark when we're both in.

Ahh but supposing door knocker has a gun, or its 15 door knockers all hiding, or or or!!!

PositivelyPERF · 16/02/2018 19:50

I work from home and my clients come to my back door. If my front door goes, it makes me a bit anxious, as all friends, family and clients don’t use the front door. My neighbors are absolute basturds and find any excuse to complain fight with me.

PositivelyPERF · 16/02/2018 19:51

I should add, they come to the front door.

Laiste · 16/02/2018 19:54

spag i remember you as well Flowers

If you're still reading this thread don't read any more!!!!! Please love.

Start a new one and chat with us there. Here, or in 'Chat'. Call it 'Update on Spag's thread' or something. Lots of posters here will read and come and talk to you about it all.

I'll keep an eye out.