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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone At Door 😣

413 replies

spagbol11 · 15/02/2018 19:15

It’s 19.13, I’ve just put 2yo dd to bed, done all my housework, been at work all day, so about to have a lovely hot bath and someone is knocking at my door, door is locked, not expecting anyone, my dp is working nights. AIBU not to answer or even check who it is...I’m scared

OP posts:
himynameiss · 16/02/2018 08:21

To all the insensitive b**ch$ on here.

Anxiety is real, especially when kids are in the house and NO I don’t answer my door to anyone but the Hermes delivery driver or post man!

twinone · 16/02/2018 08:37

The last time we had a night knocked, it was a woman asking for money. Her story was that she'd just visited her dying relative at the hospital, up the road, and didn't have enough petrol to get her home.
She had already scammed our elderly neighbour across the road a number of weeks ago.
I heard the conversation, was upstairs, and managed to get the number plate of her waiting fella.
Thanks to us, the police got them. They'd been doing the rounds for months but the car had always been out of sight.

Bexter801 · 16/02/2018 11:33

Whatever any of us think,if she doesn't want to answer her door,simply its her choice not to :) Her home,her life,her door!!.....her absolute,genuine fear(not for us to say it's a 'stupid one',an 'insignificant one') @spagbol11 I notice you apologising a lot,you absolutely have nothing to be sorry for...you asked for a bit of advice,I would listen to all the kind words,and understanding people on here,and ignore the ones,who almost remind me of a group of bullying kids! x

Slarti · 16/02/2018 12:05

you asked for a bit of advice

TBF she asked if she was BU and people answered based on the information available. The mental health board might have been better suited for support and advice. Not that the OP needs to apologise for anything or put up with insensitivity towards her mental health issues on this part of the forum, but since disclosing that I don't think she has, I think people have been understanding and supportive.

Dieu · 16/02/2018 12:11

I cannot believe the folk out there who don't answer their door. You do recognise that you are exceptionally strange, right? Hmm

Dieu · 16/02/2018 12:13

And what do you tell your children about why you're not answering it? It really is the oddest example to set. Get a chain for the door and grow up.

Bexter801 · 16/02/2018 12:17

@Slarti you seem to disagree with everything I say :/ 'Am I being unreasonable?' You don't think is asking for advice. At that very time,I'm not quite sure the mental health board were available to speak about whether she should answer the door. And the fact she highlighted she was scared of a knock on her locked door,I would imagine would trigger to most people,she was Anxious,no.

TheStoic · 16/02/2018 12:17

I cannot believe the folk out there who don't answer their door. You do recognise that you are exceptionally strange, right?

Only to the exceptionally stupid.

Katyb1310 · 16/02/2018 12:23

I haven't read the full thread but read what was there last night. All the people saying they don't know anyone who gets scared by someone at the door - I think it's perfectly normal to feel a little anxious, especially in the dark when you're not expecting anyone, if it's out of the ordinary. I have to admit I'm a bit "who the heck's that?" most of the time when the door goes, other than when it's around the time for the postman. I don't like it when the door goes at night x

ginghamstarfish · 16/02/2018 12:36

I wouldn't answer the door at that time ... our house is isolated and there are no streetlights etc. I find it odd to have someone unexpected knocking after dark. In the daytime I can at least look out to see their car/van etc before opening the door. If I'm alone and it's someone I don't know/am not expecting, I always shout 'I'll get it' just as I'm opening it, as if talking to someone inside!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 16/02/2018 12:42

It might be in a busy area for all we know.
I think its the same as being able to see Caller ID.
She doesn't want to wake the baby, get the dog excited and whole household up again for the same of an uninvited random caller who may not even be for her.
Get one of those door viewer thingys, problem solved. and a Door chain if you . Plus. You dont have to answer the door if you don't want to, anymore than you have to answer the phone to marketing calls either.

loopylou6 · 16/02/2018 12:46

Ffs, why do people have to be so nasty?
Fwiw I would also have been nervous, infact a knock in the daytime has my heart racing.
Yes I suffer anxiety, and yes I hate being this way, and if i was the op posting this last night, then a virtual kicking would of made me feel even worse.

YoloSwaggins · 16/02/2018 12:50

Has someone genuinely made an internet post asking what to do about a door knock at 7pm

Jesus christ, get a grip!

Rageofglitter · 16/02/2018 14:04

Dieu why
My parents always ring to check i am in before coming. My Dad and kids both have keys.
Neighbours have my number
Landlord has my number.

Anyone who desperately needs me will leave a note.
Police hammer till you answer if important

PushMyButton · 16/02/2018 14:14

Simple solution... Get a chain fitted to your door so you can open it safely.

Even if you're in rented, it would be hugely unreasonable of a landlord to refuse that request.

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer · 16/02/2018 14:23

@spagbol11
I'm still following your last thread about your cf neighbour. Has she tried to make contact since? Do you think it might have been her last night?

Given your last thread, you were definitely not BU to be freaked out at someone knocking on the door last night.

I really hope your neighbour is leaving you alone Thanks

LemonShark · 16/02/2018 15:41

This thread is really odd, as far as I can tell OP has had some problems with not standing up for herself with a CF old lady next door. Fair enough, but what's with all of the posts on this thread along the lines of 'based on your last post OP do NOT answer the door' as if she's in grave danger? When I went to read her history after all of the melodramatic 'if you had read her last thread you'd understand' expecting that she was in physical danger or something. But a cheeky fucker old lady neighbour? Doesn't exactly make it dangerous to answer the door surely? PP made it sound like she was an axe murderer!

Drama llamas all over the place!

MadMags · 16/02/2018 16:11

I agree Lemon. Utterly ridiculous!

FluffyPineapple · 16/02/2018 16:33

Exactly when did it become necessary to post asking advice from total strangers, on the internet, about mundane matters?

If you are feeling sociable answer the door. If you don’t want visitors, or be arsed with cold callers don’t!

What could be more simple? There’s nothing to say anyone has to answer the door, during the daytime/early evening/nighttime... Hmm

gamerchick · 16/02/2018 17:30

Exactly when did it become necessary to post asking advice from total strangers, on the internet, about mundane matters

That mundane it’s reached 12 pages of replies, including yours? Hmm I haven’t seen the rules on posting topics, maybe you could point it out.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 16/02/2018 17:37

A survival expert advises not to open the door to people you don't know? In an urban area, not in the wild wastelands?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 16/02/2018 17:39

Cheeky old lady nextdoor neighbour? Hmm. Op ramped up the drama somewhat by posting "I'm scared". Ffs!

manicmij · 16/02/2018 17:39

Would it make a difference if it was 7.15 in the summer? Maybe you are scared not because of the time but that it is dark. Put your lights on so that other folk will be able to see you when you open the door. Mass murderers are quite rare.

wildchild554 · 16/02/2018 17:40

Yanbu I don't. Answer my door to anyone l don't know after dark. It is not safe these days especially not in my area. At the end of the day you are responsible for your Childs safety so don't risk answering it if you don't feel comfortable. If they deem it important enough they can return during daylight hours. ;)

jarhead123 · 16/02/2018 17:41

Ignore!