Mocked by manager for way I walk

[cannotbelievethistoday]

My manager (think small store part of bigger company with lots of stores) was describing me as forthright in my speech. I was taking this onboard when he then proceeded to imitate how I am forthright and overphysical when I walk and over-acted me walking to the back office and flinging open the door in an over dramatic manner.

I have cerebral palsy. This is how I walk.

I burst out crying and ran out.

Mumsnet I need your wisdom. I think this is wrong and upsetting. Am I being unreasonable?

(Be gentle am still crying)

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Definitely talk to ACAS, HR, your union. Does your employer have anyone (individual or group) who looks after "equality and dignity" in the workplace?

I've not been through a formal grievance process myself but I hope it goes well for you. It will be worth it if it prevents your managers from brushing all this under the carpet and pretending it's OK, and then the dick manager being allowed to go forth and do it to someone else (or you) all over again. You are doing the right thing.

That's a real shame. The guy showed his colours. He had the chance to apologise and avoid further trouble and he didn't take it. He's dug his own hole. He's an idiot.

Dis you feel the senior manager felt it was an acceptable apology? It might be worth seeking advice from outside your employment (do you get any legal advice through a union / house insurance / anywhere?)

I think the reason I don’t think the senior manager was fair is that he could see it was the most awful not really apology and he just wanted me to accept it so he could say the issue was closed.

Have you spoken to ACAS? Your manager isn't handling this well either.

He's so shifty. Can't believe he's a manager.

I have a slight stutter. Worse when anxious and I got a job working for Directory Enquiries many years ago. A manager called me in for a "chat" and asked me was I aware I had a speech impediment and would it affect my job.

I left and phone DH who told me to grab my coat, get train and he'd meet me st the station. Manager phoned up to apologise, DH read her the riot act and said I wouldn't be back.

At the time he was my knight in shining armour but I regret now not pulling her over the coals. No one should ever address any disability in a way that makes someone self conscious or upset. Take it all the way OP. Good luck

Well done for not accepting his crap apology and going for the formal grievance. It would have been really easy to cave in under that pressure but you're definitely doing the right thing. I hope it all works out for you

And yes these senior manager just ticked boxes. The manager's demeanour should've been questioned and addressed. You have been treated abominably

Good God.

Well done for not accepting that shit!

Your manager is also appalling - I would agree with now just going through ACAS, where at all possible.

Write up detailed notes of the meeting. This should not have happened without HR present.

Well done, OP. That is not acceptable from either the twat in question or the senior manager.

I will say again, I don't think you should have agreed to it in the first place; HR should have been present. But you stood your ground.

I don't have any experience or stories to do with formal grievances, but I do think you should exercise caution. Remember it is the company's own grievance procedure –how likely is it that it is designed to protect you the employee rather than the company itself?

I can PM you with details of a good employment lawyer if you'd like to at least have an initial short conversation with them. And/or talk to ACAS.

What a childish prick. And how frustrating. Well they asked for it take out all the way.

She doesn't feel the apology was genuinely meant.
The option given by the manager to make a formal complaint seems to have presented as a threat to the OP.

OK. So the manager wasn't great but he is following proper procedure... he did tell you your options and has, presumably, helped you with your formal complaint.

Did you both agree the words of the 'apology'? Did you both agree with your assessment of the body language? Is it all in the formal complaint?

Regardless of all of that, have you contacted UCAS? They should be able to give you a lot of very useful information and support.

Good luck

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you OP. This is direct disability discrimination and completely unacceptable and illegal.

I agree that you should definitely put in a grievance. The company should investigate and have a meeting with you. If you are not happy with the outcome you should be given a right of appeal.

OP I've just rtft and I am so impressed with how you have handled this, and wanted to say you have absolutely done the right thing in raising a grievance. Sending good wishes your way!

Well done for not backing down over a half arsed ‘I’m saying sorry because I have no option’ from prick boss.
TBH, sounds like the ‘manager’ running the meeting is just being a lazy git, trying to get it swept under the carpet to save him the hassle of actually reprimanding this prick boss of yours, doing any associated paperwork or actual management of his staff.

was this in front of people?
what a complete arsehole

discrimination due to disability either psycially or mentally is always over looked and looked at as you are the issue I have had this problem with landlord it's actually sad

I'm glad you're taking this further. Absolutely disgraceful

Please get informed behind the scenes, you don’t have to want to leave your job to get armed with knowledge and insight about employers, disability and grievance processes.

I can feel how much you love and want to keep your job. Definitely keep this aim and use it to make it clear what your aims and also ethics are throughout this process.

But... do keep in mind that you cannot control the process. The law is completely and absolutely on your side. It really is. But, it’s not the law that will decide how the company will choose to behave. That, sadly, is up to them.

If they decide it’s in their interests to squash your complaint and make the problem disappear by telling you it doesn’t exist, then you may find it too upsetting to work there afterwards.

If they decide to stick by the manager and keep it in house by enabling his behaviour, then, again, you may find your situation has been spoilt by them.

However, if they can see that it’s in the company’s interests to distance themselves rapidly from any disability discrimination or inequality, then it can easily be dealt with so that you can keep your job and put this behind you.

This is why you need to armour up with some knuwledge now, and some reallly good phrases to put into emails etc with HR / the company management. You need to make it clear that it’s better and easier for them to deal with this fairly and by the law, and it would put them in an uncomfortable and difficult position to be seen to condone and agree with disabilist and discriminatory behaviour.

Basically, make it easy for them to do the right thing, and harder the do the wrong thing. Sadly that works waaay better than appealing to anyone’s morality or sense of wanting to do the right thing!

Applying the right kind of pressure now is important. Politely, with a smile, always explaining your commitment to the company and your desire to get back to working without this barrier. But making it clear the reality of the situation.

Please go get that legal advice and those great phrases you need to drop into your communications. Do it now, not later once they’ve already made up their minds (that was my mistake, I was too scared of annoying people and I paid for it later in spades - I had experienced legal advice telling me what I’m telling you and I ignored it!).

It was insentive, did he know about your CP?

Bear in mind that when you write your grievance, that he “apologised” and so therefore he admitted to it and admitted your feelings were hurt. It’s not like he was denying that it took place. And his belligerent attitude, as you described here, is what was upsetting and has made the situation worse and what with him being senior to you, it’s a very poor show all round.

Op seems very unwilling to let on whether he knew about CP or not. Problem is, if he didn't know then you could be in bother for not making him aware as your employer. He needs to know of all health conditions. If you haven't told him then I would drop the formal grievance as it won't stand

MotherofasurvivorOP confirmed on page 1 that he did know about her CP.

I rtht like Did you take someone 'Independent' into the meeting with you? Make sure you do every time; a union rep or trusted colleague.