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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mocked by manager for way I walk

209 replies

cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 17:07

My manager (think small store part of bigger company with lots of stores) was describing me as forthright in my speech. I was taking this onboard when he then proceeded to imitate how I am forthright and overphysical when I walk and over-acted me walking to the back office and flinging open the door in an over dramatic manner.

I have cerebral palsy. This is how I walk.

I burst out crying and ran out.

Mumsnet I need your wisdom. I think this is wrong and upsetting. Am I being unreasonable?

(Be gentle am still crying)

OP posts:
Tinkie25 · 15/02/2018 20:53

What a twat.

I hope the area manager is supportive.

PeerieBreeks · 15/02/2018 20:53

Op, I know plenty have told you before, but the manager was utterly unreasonable.

I hope the area manager has given you some good advice.

Hoping that this is a cross post and there has been an update!

Slarti · 15/02/2018 21:00

possibly disablist

It's definitely disablist.

Blackteadrinker77 · 15/02/2018 21:10

The Area Manager will protect the company. They will come down on him like a ton of bricks to stop you potentially going to court.

They may even transfer him out to a different branch and swap him with another Manager.

Just be sure that he is the person in the wrong here. Also ask for pay until the end of the week due to being upset.

blackchina · 15/02/2018 21:11

That's fucking disgusting OP. Sorry you had to tolerate this. Report this twat.

Halie · 15/02/2018 21:15

Straight to HR. Report. This is completely wrong.

PastaOfMuppets · 15/02/2018 21:17

OP, how did the call go? What are they going to do? What a repulsive boss you have. And do I understand correctly that he msgd one of your colleagues, not even you, with a half-apology??

Bearsinmotion · 15/02/2018 21:32

Hope you’re ok OP. I have a similar disability and would be devastated if someone did this to me. Hope your company do the right thing.

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 21:42

Thanks everyone. Nice call with area sales manager. He listened, was kind and supportive. He is going to mediate a meeting with my manager and I next week which should just involve my manager saying sorry a lot and hopefully learning from it. The outcome of that will determine any next steps. ie. if I feel it has been sufficiently resolved or if a grievance is necessary. Fingers crossed I will get a contrite manager who will think before he acts in future.

Thanks mumsnet for allowing me to winge. It was nice to have people post support and meant a lot. Flowersfor you all. X

OP posts:
honeyroar · 15/02/2018 21:45

That's good but I hope it's more than your manager saying a quick sorry and it all being brushed under the carpet. I hope you get support and he gets monitored and a huge wrap on the knuckles at the least.

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 21:47

On a side note I put my kids to bed without brushing their teeth or giving them a bath tonight. I am in awe of people who manage to do everything even when stressed and worries inside.

OP posts:
Greyponcho · 15/02/2018 21:50

At the very least, take someone you trust into the meeting with you, so that they can help you make a record of what was said during the meeting.
Sounds like he’s in for a slap on the wrists and nothing more... if he were truly sorry he would’ve said something to YOU not text a colleague saying it Hmm not wait for his line manager to haul his sorry ass across the coals and be shamed by line manager into apologising to you in person.

PeerieBreeks · 15/02/2018 21:51

Op, one day with no teeth brushed or bath will not be a problem. When I was a kid, we got bathed once a week...

Greyponcho · 15/02/2018 21:51

If he brings it up tomorrow, you might be best saying you’d rather wait for the meeting next week - shows you mean business that you’re not going to take his shitty attitude lying down.

Greyponcho · 15/02/2018 21:53

I know it’s hard to be “the one who stands up and says something” about shitty behaviour, but it really does help those who will follow in your footsteps, even if only to make shitty bosses think twice before acting so poorly towards someone

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 21:55

Fortunately my manager is not in tomorrow, we have only one day working together between now and next Thursday, so will be employing a heads down attitude.

I just can’t get over why someone would act like such an idiot.

OP posts:
BerylStreep · 15/02/2018 21:57

Ask for someone to come with you to the meeting next week.

I would strongly recommend you make notes before the meeting of what has occurred previously, and ensure that the meeting is minuted and you are provided with a copy of the minutes.

Knittedfairies · 15/02/2018 21:58

Cannot you have no reason to 'employ a heads down attitude' - that's what your halfwit manager should be doing! I get you want to stay out of his way, but you’ve done nothing wrong.

Greyponcho · 15/02/2018 22:00

I’d still be tempted to take HR or a union rep with you
(Or a unicorn, should one be available, for trampling-related activities)

pilates · 15/02/2018 22:01

Good, I’m glad your Head Manager has taken it seriously. Your Manager sounds ignorant and uneducated. Out of interest, how old is he?

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 22:01

I am so taking my kids unicorn!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 22:01

Manager is 29 (I am 40)

OP posts:
headintheproverbial · 15/02/2018 22:05

The fact that you have less than two years service is not relevant to a disability discrimination / harassment claim.

UpstartCrow · 15/02/2018 22:12

Please talk to ACAS. Their service is free.

www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1410

DropItLikeASquat · 15/02/2018 22:15

he sounds like a complete dickhead. got straight to HR this is discrimination and bullying.