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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mocked by manager for way I walk

209 replies

cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 17:07

My manager (think small store part of bigger company with lots of stores) was describing me as forthright in my speech. I was taking this onboard when he then proceeded to imitate how I am forthright and overphysical when I walk and over-acted me walking to the back office and flinging open the door in an over dramatic manner.

I have cerebral palsy. This is how I walk.

I burst out crying and ran out.

Mumsnet I need your wisdom. I think this is wrong and upsetting. Am I being unreasonable?

(Be gentle am still crying)

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 15/02/2018 19:47

oh my goodness.

just, well, so wrong.

notapizzaeater · 15/02/2018 19:49

Hope the area manager takes it seriously, unbelievable in this day and age

Glamourgates · 15/02/2018 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyFleur · 15/02/2018 19:53

OP, how your manager behaved is disgusting. You need to be prepared for the call with the Area Manager. Bullet point what you want to communicate; what happened and what you would like to happen from here.

Please look at the web links that you have been sent and get prepared. Good luck Flowers

TheArtOfNoise · 15/02/2018 19:56

Yanbu, what a complete cunt Angry

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 20:02

Thanks everyone. I am sat here a bit scared. I love my job. I love what I do. I just don’t want to have to deal with him.

OP posts:
NewYearNewMe18 · 15/02/2018 20:09

Rare, but I'm lost for words. I am actually speechless and agog on your behalf.

fadingfast · 15/02/2018 20:13

I would absolutely bring a formal grievance in these circumstances and it is not something I would always recommend (I am an employment lawyer). Can you recall the date(s) when you asked him not to use the offensive language? Did anyone else witness any of these events?

Glamourgates I really can't agree that the OP would 'basically get £40,000'. It would very much depend on how the company deals with the complaint, and I would not recommend taking this route purely on the expectation of financial gain (not that I think for a minute that would be your motivation OP).
Good luck Flowers

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 20:17

Fadingfast - thanks for your advice. I love my job. I really love my job - it is perfect for my life and my children’s life. I just want to be happy at work. I don’t want money. I just want to know that he isn’t laughing at me and thinking he can say anything with no recourse.

More than anything I would like to come out of this with my dignity and pride intact. I just don’t know how to do that. Do I accept what my line manager tells me, do I challenge him, do I mention the other instances etc. I just don’t want to do wrong when trying to do right. I hope that makes sense.

OP posts:
Louiselouie0890 · 15/02/2018 20:20

Sorry if I missed a few points of you have already answered. What did he do when you left? Has he apologised?

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 20:21

Yes he sent a “I am sorry, I did not mean it that way text” to a colleague.

OP posts:
LucyAutumn · 15/02/2018 20:22

You've absolutely done the right thing OP and hopefully your area manager will too. So sorry you've been treated thus way Cake

fadingfast · 15/02/2018 20:22

Check your employer's grievance procedure, or ask the area manager how to register a formal grievance once you've explained what has happened. The policy should tell you who the grievance should be addressed to (it may well be the AM in this situation). Doesn't have to be a letter, an email is fine (better in many ways as you have got proof of when it was sent). Keep a written note of what the manager says to you. Keep a paper trail of everything and try to be as specific as you can about dates and what was said, who was present.

Mivery · 15/02/2018 20:24

It doesn't matter that you've only been there for two years! If that was your first day what he did would still be totally unacceptable.

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 20:24

Will a formal grrievance help me in the long run? How are people treated after these?

OP posts:
Flatprob · 15/02/2018 20:24

What a despicable little man. Sorry you had deal with such ignorant behaviour.

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 20:24

Sorry for asking so many questions. (Feel like an idiot)

OP posts:
Cantchooseaname · 15/02/2018 20:24

Tonight- listen, and see what they offer. Give yourself time.
I hope that the overwhelming outrage here gives you back your dignity. You are not the one who has behaved appallingly, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Your manager, on the other hand...

fadingfast · 15/02/2018 20:25

And you might want to contact Acas for free advice on how to proceed, once you've spoken to the area manager. Include everything in your grievance, in as much detail as possible, not just the incident today.

sportyfool · 15/02/2018 20:25

Sweet Jesus this can't be true in 2017 can it ?? I was going to stick up for him and say maybe he didn't know you had cp ( not that it makes it much better ) but using the spastic word is disgusting . Complain !! He deserves the sack for that !

SauvignonBlanche · 15/02/2018 20:27

That sounds awful! Angry I hope the area manager is supportive Flowers

MarklahMarklah · 15/02/2018 20:32

Your manager sounds like a dick. Definitely go to HR. Doesn't matter if you've been there 1 year, 1 month, or 1 day. He's an arse and he needs telling.

As a slight aside, I misread "do you have a union" as "do you have a unicorn?" which set me on a very odd train of thought where I imagined you astride said unicorn, shouting "Onward, Eustace!" (Eustace being the unicorn) and trampling idiot manager. Grin

blueskyinmarch · 15/02/2018 20:35

That is awful OP. I hope your boss can reassure you that something will be done.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/02/2018 20:38

His language and behaviour are totally unacceptable. If you are in a union, get in touch with them about this appalling man.

littlebillie · 15/02/2018 20:43

That's awful 💐

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