Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mocked by manager for way I walk

209 replies

cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 17:07

My manager (think small store part of bigger company with lots of stores) was describing me as forthright in my speech. I was taking this onboard when he then proceeded to imitate how I am forthright and overphysical when I walk and over-acted me walking to the back office and flinging open the door in an over dramatic manner.

I have cerebral palsy. This is how I walk.

I burst out crying and ran out.

Mumsnet I need your wisdom. I think this is wrong and upsetting. Am I being unreasonable?

(Be gentle am still crying)

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 15/02/2018 17:37

And don't attempt to talk to him about it. Report through a manager or directly to HR.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/02/2018 17:38

Oh my goodness. Sweet heart of course we'll all be gentle. You have a bloody good cry.
The fucking horrible disablist bullying twat.
Go straight to HR. And Jax. Why are you making excuses for him.
No talking to him or giving him second chances. And as for the fact thst he might not know, well that's a huge failure in itself as it's a bad day when people don't know the medical conditions of their staff.
I hope he does get into deep water. It's no more than he deserves.and Hopefully it'll make hIm think before he mocks some one disabled in the future.

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 17:40

My area sales manager is his manager. I didn’t know HR protocol hence asked him. He didn’t mimic my limp but my pattern, ie. I am not graceful and am very heavy on my feet. Imagine watching an over caricature of yourself and the bit you hate the most.

OP posts:
ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 15/02/2018 17:40

Sorry to hear this OP. This is shocking behaviour. Don't try to speak to him about it.

Make notes before you speak to HR this evening, and see if you can find a way to record the call for your records.

It's absolutely not 'poor social skills'. Do not accept that. If you are part of a larger company he should have attended training to understand his responsibilities as a manager. Don't let them fob you off Flowers.

MeadowHay · 15/02/2018 17:42

You could potentially have a claim for financial compensation here, if you wanted to pursue that avenue. If you are in a union you could speak to them about that, or if you workplace has a union rep, or alternatively speak to ACAS or even better, an employment law specialist solicitor.

However I appreciate that may not be the route you want to go down as it could make continuing to work there very difficult, if you do indeed want to continue to work there.

Either way though, those comments are disgusting and you need to report them to HR. Your manager needs to be disciplined. Please also mention the comments about the computer being 'spastic' as that is important too - it shows that this is not just one isolated event but actually a pattern of behavior on the behalf of your manager which is even worse.

Thinking of you Flowers. I'm on the autistic spectrum and have had the way I walk mocked a lot as a teenager by kids at school, and by my dad who still decides to go on about now that I'm 24. And the way I walk is only very slightly different to most other people, if it's even noticeable at all. I feel for you and I am not surprised you are upset. What he is doing is wrong and he has no right to be treating you that way.

Dancinggoat · 15/02/2018 17:45

That's awful. It's bullying. Please let us know how it goes with the area manager.
Be strong. You are the better person and doing the right thing.
I'm shocked to be honest that someone has that much ignorance or is that uncaring and callous

MichaelBendfaster · 15/02/2018 17:45

Don't just rely on the manager. Go to HR. You don't need to know the protocol; just tell them what happened. They will know what to do.

He needs some awareness training at the very least.

Those saying it's his social skills or to ignore him Hmm need to have a word with yourselves.

ColaCube22 · 15/02/2018 17:57

What an absolute arse! I can't believe that he thought this was okay or in some way helpful.
Go straight to HR. I work for a large supermarket chain and in my experience telling his manager may just result in an undocumented slap on the wrists. You want the complaint to be delt with through the correct process and it gives you some protection and evidence should he behave like a complete and utter twat again.
Hope you are okay x

UpstartCrow · 15/02/2018 17:57

Contact ACAS and complain, he should be sacked Flowers

GrockleBocs · 15/02/2018 17:58

I am in my late 40s and remember when that word was in common use. Nobody uses it now and there's no excuse for using it. Especially in the presence of someone with cp. The only defence I could imagine is if he too has cp and has made you aware of that. The way in which it was used was clearly derogatory.
That and making fun of your gait should be seen as a pattern.
Whatever happens, I would start and keep a paper trail (write up your conversation with his manager and send it to him requesting he confirms any actions etc) in case this gets messy.

FluffyFerrets · 15/02/2018 18:04

What an absolute and utter fucking arsehole.
Yes to going to HR and reporting this officially. Take it as far as you can. As someone above said - reporting directly to his manager could result in him just getting a 'friendly' warning to limit involving higher powers/paperwork. He should not get away with this. Please do report it officially.
I'm a manager and I'd NEVER find it okay to say or do anything like that to my staff, nor about any illness/disability they have. It really makes me angry that some people do.
I hope you're feeling better.

Topseyt · 15/02/2018 18:09

I would agree that you shouldn't bother trying to talk to him yourself about this.

I would reckon he knows what he is doing. You asking him to stop will make no difference, and could lead to him mocking you further. Let the other managers and HR deal with it. He doesn't deserve any more chances.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/02/2018 18:10

Most children know not to take the piss out of someone, who is different. Let alone a grown man Angry. I agree this is a breach of the equality act and very serious Flowers.

specialsubject · 15/02/2018 18:19

Disgusting. Bullying anyway, abusing someone disabled too. Take no prisoners.

May he get what he deserves.

apostropheuse · 15/02/2018 18:28

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. I hope he's fired. At the very least he should have a written warning. Despicable man.

BakedBeans47 · 15/02/2018 18:42

What a cunt your manager is. Def report him x

Greyponcho · 15/02/2018 18:48

We’re here for you OP, don’t let this idiot get away with it!! Flowers

Original poster
cannotbelievethistoday · 15/02/2018 19:03

Thanks everyone. The area sales manager is calling at 8.30pm. Will let you know what he says. I think what I am really looking for is him to tell me what the company are going to do, i don’t want to have to make any decisions.

OP posts:
Parisetoile · 15/02/2018 19:04

I am outraged. This is the 21st century FFS. Where the hell are you working and who is this arse??. You have my support. Be strong and do as above posters have said. HR, witnesses...but really, this person can not continue in this manner, they need a long course in behaving in a civilised manner.....to say the least.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 15/02/2018 19:13

Sorry you've had to deal with this op, it's most definitely not ok. I'd be mortified if 5 yo dd did something like that let alone an adult. Was anyone else there? Flowers
Don't let your line manager minimise it, you should email hr and copy him/her into it while everything is fresh in your mind. I'd include the comment at the computer too for context.

LondonHereICome · 15/02/2018 19:16

If it was our place ( retail 'giant) he'd have his arse handed to him on a plate..... diversity is high on our agenda!

kaytee87 · 15/02/2018 19:19

What a bastard!! Make sure he gets his arse handed to him op.

Cantchooseaname · 15/02/2018 19:23

Might be worth having a think about what you want.
Apology/ training/ sacking? Compensation? None of these would be unreasonable for a repeat offender who sounds like an utter arse.

When they call- Make no agreement/ promises to manager- give yourself time to think.
If they tell you policy is to investigate/ interview / whatever, thank them and ask for it in writing/ email.

What he did was deeply hurtful and you need time to think about how you want it to be resolved. I know you are panicking and just want it sorted- but this is serious, and you have to live with it.

Good luck- be strong!

mamas12 · 15/02/2018 19:32

I'm sorry this is appalling
Agree with first of all having a think about what you want to happen
Ask the area manager what he/she's going yo do and ask for a timeline and then confirm the content of your phone call back to them
Not to agree with anuthing at this moment

iMatter · 15/02/2018 19:45

Your manager is a cunt.

Don't let this be swept under the carpet OP.

We are all with you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread