to feel sorry for my friend with the eco-warrior DH?

[k2p2k2tog]

(sort of lighthearted but not really)

Very close friend is married to a professional eco-warrior. He's employed high up in a green charity and has in the past been involved in Green politics. They have two daughters of school age. Friend also works but not in the green sector, she's a nurse.

Because her DH is a dyed in the wool "knit your own lentil" person, he has to be seen to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Nothing non-eco. They do have a car, but he cycles to work and she takes the train.

But what makes me feel REALLY sorry for her, and her girls, is that they have bought a touring caravan for all holidays. Despite the fact they're earning good money and could afford a week in the sun somewhere, they spend every holiday cooped up in a tin box so he can show what a WORTHY person he is.

They are currently in Wales. In the freezing cold and rain. In fucking FEBRUARY.

Yanbu. I actually find that kind of puritanical view hilarious and I'm mostly eco-friendly anyway.

What does she think about it? There's nothing inherently 'better' about holidays in the sun. You could have a shit sunny holiday ( and a really expensive one if in school hols) and a fantastic caravan holiday. Presumably she agreed to go away in Feb.

I call these EGO-warriors, or ECO-maniacs. It is all about them. Dickheads.

I admire him living his values (though it wouldn't be for me)

Not so eco not to use fuel then.

Has she complained to you or are you projecting your own feelings on it?

She doesn't have much choice in the matter, she's kind of resigned to it all. She used to go abroad with her familly every 2 or 3 years before she met him and got married. He cannot / will not countenance anything which requires air travel.

And of course there's nothing bad with UK holidays - they can be amazing. But come on, a caravan in February. I'm sure friend would much rather be at home with her feet up and looking forward to a week in Mallorca or something in July.

YABU. He has a realistic appreciation of the future of our planet and is doing something about it, that’s by far the best thing he could do for his kids and a lot more important than ‘a week in the sun’

It’s horses for courses isn’t it. Wales is God’s own country with tons to do andbeautiful areas to visit so your cooped up in a frozen box actually sounds good to me. Caravans have heaters and you can cook sausages on the beach all year round. In fact that sounds like a good weekend plan to me!

They could take the caravan on the ferry and drive somewhere sunny?

If he was like this when they got together, I can only assume she's happy with it so you shouldn't feel sorry for her.

If he was an 4x4 Audi owning globetrotter when they met but changed, then you may have reason to worry for her happiness. Buy it is her choice.

If everyone was the same, it'd be boring.

She doesn't have to do anything. Presumably she shares his views or she a)wouldn't have married him and b) would have told him to get a grip and booked a week in Spain.

YANBU. My friend has a twattish eco-husband like that. Except he makes it worse by being a total hypocrite - eg drives his car everywhere and smokes fags, but won’t have cling-film in the house.

I really really wanted to tell her to LTB when she revealed that he turns the Dyson cordless charger off to save electricity, so it’s always flat.

If she's not happy then she needs to tell him she won't countenance anything that involves freezing her arse off in Wales and he can either come with or stay at home on his tod

But come on, a caravan in February. I've stayed in a tiny hut with no electricity in January. Because of location it was one of the best holidays ever.

Welsh waterfalls are wonderful in winter.

And I’m no stranger to camping holidays, but a caravan in Wales in February sounds shit.

I used to camp all year round and hope to get well enough to do so again.

I enjoy the seasons. I do hot holidays, but they've got to have history/culture added.

A lot of people are doing Benidorm at this time of year, now I would feel sorry for myself if I was made to do that, but I appreciate that others have different tastes. Why can't you?

Camping or caravanning is my idea of Hell, I absolutely loathe both of them, even if they were somewhere lovely like Wales.

YANBU. I find the type of person who uses a cause for self-aggrandisement pretty tiresome

I was at a national trust property this morning and got a filthy look from a dad because I started giggling when he pointed at a picture of an insect and turned to his 5/6 year old and said 'non-native species, dude. Not cool.' He then proceeded to loudly lecture his child on how the Romans introduced rabbits to the U.K. and muse on how long a species has to be in a country to become native. It was eco-performance parenting.

Presumably she knew all this when she married him, so she knew what she was letting herself and her kids in for.

I would find it absolutely miserable, but then I wouldn’t choose it. She has 🤷‍♀️

I am camping next week in Wales. Nothing ecofriendly about that. Maybe she likes it?

I fucking love a good caravan to be fair.

I was reading this morning about designer dresses for the Oscars being transported by private jet. A transatlantic flight, on its own plane, for a frock.
And yet it's us who are made to feel guilty for our one annual flight to Mallorca.

I think he's fab and I think his DW is fab. Caravanning isn't for everyone but you can't knock it because it's your idea of hell. He shouldn't be the object of your scorn for living a lifestyle he strongly supports and believes in. February is cold as hell, yep, but they are outside spending time together as a family unlike you criticising and grumbling about their lifestyle on MN.

Believe it or not some people like caravanning.

Dh and I just spent the best part of a house deposit on one with the intention of having 10 good years worth of family holidays in it.