to feel sorry for my friend with the eco-warrior DH?

[k2p2k2tog]

(sort of lighthearted but not really)

Very close friend is married to a professional eco-warrior. He's employed high up in a green charity and has in the past been involved in Green politics. They have two daughters of school age. Friend also works but not in the green sector, she's a nurse.

Because her DH is a dyed in the wool "knit your own lentil" person, he has to be seen to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Nothing non-eco. They do have a car, but he cycles to work and she takes the train.

But what makes me feel REALLY sorry for her, and her girls, is that they have bought a touring caravan for all holidays. Despite the fact they're earning good money and could afford a week in the sun somewhere, they spend every holiday cooped up in a tin box so he can show what a WORTHY person he is.

They are currently in Wales. In the freezing cold and rain. In fucking FEBRUARY.

That article was based on 1.38 people per car. So still more efficient to drive rather than fly for a family of 4.

Is she happy with the way their life is? Not your opinion, hers. Does she say she is unhappy or missing hotels? I don’t think there is anything wrong with being focussed and livening your life the way that suits you.

My db is a vegan but that doesn’t make me worry about his dw and if she is suffering. As long as all are happy and thriving life is good.

FWIW my favourite holidays are in my beloved tent whether in the rain or sunshine. I am camping next month with our scout troop and already excited about going 😀😀.

Caravan touring is a holiday. It doesn't just have to be a long journey and then a holiday in one place.

There is amazing freedom in stopping at interesting places - unplanned.

Our teens loved camping - in France with us. They got a say in where we went and where we stopped. We chose on the day - according to weather and whim.

We tried the fly-to resort holiday too - and they enjoyed that -but preferred to camp and travel.

But she doesn't have to, she's chosing to. He can't actually stop her hopping on a plane and I doubt he'd be able to stop her taking the kids, even if he fought it through the courts. So her choices are:

-caravan holiday in the UK
-abroad by car
-abroad by ferry
-abroad by train
-abroad by plane.

All he can do is tell her he doesn't want her to fly and why. He is allowed an opinion.

They sound fine to me. People who are living their lives according to their principles. Is it really that hard to get your head around the idea that people choose to live their lives differently to you?

So op, we all know how you feel about it. How does she feel about it?

DH and I love caravans holidays with our DDs (or cottages) but I can't say I would want to do it in February! My DDs haven't been on an aeroplane yet at 8 and 5 (9 and 6 next month) but that's changing this summer when we go to Canada!!

I admire your friend's DH, my DH is very environmentally conscious, votes green sometimes and is into recycling. Quite clearly, your friend has decided to go along with it so presumably she's happy. Each to their own, I say.

I think it's great to walk the walk not just talk the talk - I know some very worthy types who preach on social media or in person but they pick and choose what suits them, conveniently overlooking their holidays by air when lecturing in a worthy tone about how much pollution is caused by air travelling holidaymakers etc. Or travelling to Indonesia (by plane) to do a sponsored mountain climb to raise money for the ozone layer. That kind of thing. Really annoys me.

However there's a difference between people who are making the right choices because that's how they roll, even if nobody knows about it, and those who want to be SEEN to be making the right choices. Most people can sense those who want to be SEEN doing it, in a kind of smug aren't "I better than you look I'm so green" kind of way.

Holidays are unnecessary travel - as per the wartime poster. If captain windfarm is serious, they should be staying home.

She doesn't have much choice in the matter, she's kind of resigned to it all

She has every choice. She chose him and his principles, she chose to marry him, she chose to have children with him, she chooses to stay with him and to lead this life with him.

What she didn't choose is you judging her choices and bitching about her online.

You are sorry for her because they holiday in a caravan? That's really not that bad as far as doing things for show goes. It's not like he's forcing her to send her children to a school she doesn't like (Jeremy Corbyn) or publically insulting family members for being gay (Tony Abbot). I'm sure that if she really hated the caravan they just wouldn't use it-especially considering that it isn't all that eco friendly in the first place.

At least he does walk the walk. Most eco warriors I know seem to pick and chose what’s eco only when it suits.

if shes not compalning then does it matter

if she wants a holiday abroad she has to just do it-im sure she knew what he was like when she married him

I wouldn't like to be them. I don't do caravans and roughing it but some people enjoy it even if they can afford better. Just leave them to it.

YABU
One of the best holidays I ever had was camping in the snow on the Black Mountains. It was cold, but it was awesome to wake up to a camp field with just us and lots of snow.

If he was a fervent religious believer and insisted that their whole life revolve around his beliefs, regardless of whether his family agreed, then the answers on here would be very different. There's a difference between a religious belief and a recognition that our lifestyles are damaging the environment

There's a difference between a religious belief and a recognition that our lifestyles are damaging the environment

Not to a certain type of believer it isnt, they truly believe that non believers are damaging their souls and ever lasting life. To them it is as much a fact as global warming is to Capain Windfarm.

That doesn't actually make it true though, does it? Regardless, if your idea of good holiday fun is kicking back with a hog roast and 20 bottles of beer, probably best not to marry a devout Muslim. Or if you do, don't complain if he won't join in.

Some people absolutely love their caravans and wouldn't swap them for a hotel somewhere warm.

If he doesn't want to join in, that's his prerogative. The problem arises if he tries to stop her from doing what she would like!

I wouldn't knock it - we are currently all 5 of us in a caravan for a long weekend in Warwick we are visiting Warwick Castle & Cadbury World & have just scoffed pizza & ice cream the kids are at one end watching Moana in their bunk beds & we are at other end chilling with Sky News & Mumsnet!
Breakfast will be bacon butties followed by morning walk round the farm getting up close to sheep & then off to Cadbury World😁.
We are not eco warriors at all we just want to visit lots of different places!

Surely the Channel ports are accessible by train? If they really want to go.

I think, on balance, I have met people I have felt sorrier for than this family. Like....eerr...everybody that is going to have to live with the consequences of our current wasteful attitude towards the environment.

My parents didn't fly and they didn't have a car. We had wonderful holidays in southern Europe. And we lived in Sweden.

Surely if your friend wants to go somewhere hot and sunny she can go on a train? That's what my eco warrior friends do. They do fly when no other way is possible, obviously they don't row across the Atlantic.

YABU

YANBU.
I am Welsh. I am in Wales. I don't even want to be here.

It's bloody cold and wet.

Taylor22

YANBU.
I am Welsh. I am in Wales. I don't even want to be here.

It's bloody cold and wet.

Haha. Love your post and love your humour.