To ask for your secret nicknames for co-workers, customers or clients?

[Midge1978]

Just checking I'm not the only one who does this!

Car mad sons of NDNs were Terry and Wang Wang (from a very old TV comedy sketch show)

I bloody luffs all these!

Tic - not the full ticket
The Sheep aka Baa - first name Sean.

The Twat in the Hat - don’t know real name, always wears a baseball cap
Emma Dilemma - always in a quandary
The Chins - family next door to the office, he has a huge chin he tries to hide with a beard
The Spook - ex Royal Mail spy, always telling tales
Finger mouse (don’t ask!)
Cuprinol - orange fake tan, wooden personality
Sparks - wore a nylon suit, we tried to get it banned as a fire hazard
Professor Yaffle

Yon mon - the man over yonder......
The boy - Yon mon's son,
The claw,
Lurch,
Chuckles / Little Miss Happy / Sunshine - sour faced lady

We also have duplicate first names so nice, boring Steve is Steve or Stevie,
Sexy Steve is STEVE STEVE with extra emphasis on the first 'Steve' and Steve with the extra large cock is STEVE STEVE STEVE with fake orgasm sounds and cum face expressions. (The name isn't Steve BTW).

People at the gym:
Blondie Faketitterson, and her husband Roidy
PT Barnum
Man Bun wanker
My neighbors from West Virginia - Cletus and Brandene
The Translucents
KKKaren ( racist co worker)

Adding another one, how could I forget Rawhide! Too many sun bed sessions!

If we are voting, my favourite is Fly Pie Roy

Perpetually we also have a poisoned dwarf although he was a man

Big Gob Bitch 😮 well she is.....

Mine are mainly people who I see walking past my house, as I work from home.

Coke can man - he walks with one arm out as though he’s carrying a can of coke, in fact he isn’t though.

Walks Far Man - always walking past on the main road into town, no matter what time of day you’re driving in.

Shy horse woman - never says hello if you pass her in the street but she looks like she would like to.

Scared dog lady - she has an anxious dog who is scared of the sound of electric cars.

My brother - he isn’t my brother but he is the absolute spitting image.

Darren Again - this is actually a dad from school who we have a running joke about as whenever you look out the window or open the curtains or come out the front door, he is ALWAYS walking past.

We used to call the shop assistant in our local co-op Continental Drift because she served so slowly.

Headteacher is the dragon🐉

Ive enjoyed these immensely, please keep them coming!
My favourite must be........ oh heck I can't call it, I'm laughing too much.

One of the managers at work has astonishingly long eyelashes. During an alcohol-rich staff night out, I told him his eyelashes make him look like 'a really nice cow'.

The name stuck and he's been known as 'Really Nice Cow Eyelash Manager' for months now. Poor bastard

Just boss: The Bulldog.

Love Continental Drift!

PIL live opposite the van twatt family. They own a van and park too close to people's cars. The man sings (badly) when he drives. Wife is obviously Maria van twatt

I used to work with someone known as two phone Tone, he had one phone for his wife and the other for his girlfriend ;)

My old boss was known as the Fat Controller

Ooo I've remembered another.... A woman at my gym who used to wear a black puffer jacket that had white stuff on the back and the end of one sleeve. I call her jizz jacket

Wonky eye Dave
Anal beed Amy!! - who liked to make Home movies
shouty family - old neighbours, family of 5, who no matter what their mood they shout. When the Dad leaves for work in the morning you see the window open then all 3 children shouting bye Daddy, Love you. It was cute the first time!

A woman at work ; The Walking Miracle - always off with a diabolical medical condition . She told us her blood pressure was off the Richter Scale.

A family in the same road that all dressed in white from head to toe when they went out - The Sunblest Family

Dreadful fat blonde woman who is really mean to everyone: Miss Piggy

I absolutely can't bear her. She has made so many nice people cry.

From school:
Muddycoat Morton
Rice Krispie boy
Bullet boy
Hang dog
Baby hang dog (younger sibling)
Fish sandwiches (sat on bus with legs wide open)

Work (managers):
Octopus Hands
Bitch flaps
The Gimlet
Mr Loverman
Toad of Toad Hall
Beloved Leader (sarcastic)
Should have gone to Specsavers

Clients:
Man with collapsed face
Mr Needy
Snarky Cow
Shortarse aka Little Man syndrome

At work, commonly known/used
Mr Burns, looks a little like the Simpsons character
Wonky Donkey, from a job he did and rumour on the size of his manhood
Mr Moan, needs no explanation
Side Show Bob, again Simpsons character similarity
Foghorn Leghorn, volume is always at deafening and generally patronising
Uncle Fester, name rhymes with fester and is larger with little hair

Various other names that vary as and when
I am talking about them and colleagues seem to know who I'm talking about even if I use the same name to refer to different people on different occasions.

Hmm it seems I struggle with real names sometimes

One of DH's customers was nicknamed "50 shades" by his cleaner, who recommended DH.