To ask for your secret nicknames for co-workers, customers or clients?

[Midge1978]

Just checking I'm not the only one who does this!

Somuch... I used to have a customer for years that I named Manbag!

I work with a team of people who I never see, but I see their handwriting a lot.

There's 'Fancy Calligrapher', 'Writes-like-a-Doctor' and 'Annoyingly Tiny Writing Person'.

Out of the people I work with and actually see, there's Tight T-shirt Man, the Addicted to Tea Crew, Sir Chatsalot and Smells Like a Badger.

neighbours: the cleaning lady. (she is out with the washing really early and washiing up a lot.)

and weekend dad. (his dd used to come everyother weekend with a big bag.

we know a lot of the neighbours by name, and the rest seem to come and go too often to get a name. many of then are just known by their numbered flat.

I used to have neighbours (so not quite the same I know) called Mrs Downstairs - because she lived downstairs... and a mother/daughter combo who lived together called Dollop and Cabbage! They weren't the brightest...

The manager nobody wants to work for:

Nobody-likes-her-everybody-hates-her.

alltoomuch great minds think alike!

Oh another one - teacher at DS's school is Mr Tumble because he looks just like Justin Fletcher.

The Wise Old Elf (has beard and makes fuck ups)
Commander Data (robot like efficiency and lack of human emotion)

I used to work with someone who we nicknamed Billgo. His name was Bill and he always came out with the same sentences. We drew up some bingo boards with his various sayings on it and whoever filled the board first won. Made so many boring shifts bearable

Human headache is one of my colleagues

And the staff at my local Starbucks call me Andrew Lasca for Large Skinny Cappuccino which is my caffeine shot de choix!

I used to work with a woman that worked really fast then went shopping for the rest of her shift - Kelly 'Bolt'
Play on speed and her exit.

Oh and also MC plaque, he was a famous YouTube rapper and had the worst teeth I've ever seen. It was a funny day when we found his YouTube videos.

I once worked with a FWOT ‘fucking waste of time’

A bigus dickus (he was very big and called richard)

CanIGoToBedNow I am disappointed!

Never had them for colleagues, or really SUs either. I did earn myself nickname Sargent Major seperately from majority of our clients tho...became a bit of a standing joke

We have a Dementor... sucks the joy out of eeeeeeverything

Colleagues
(From various jobs over the years, were all pretty lovely to be honest!)
Fat first name
Psycho first name
Shouty first name
Tiny first name
Nick the dick (it only has the same effect if you know the real first name)
Matt the twat
Noodle (due to messy hair)
His royal highness (for the overall manager)
Prince Charming (for the second in command, also best mates with HRH, and looking very very rough so PC is a bit of a joke)
Princess peach- PC’s wife

Clients/customers

Hairy mole first name
Banjo man
Nicker twist Norma
Half job harry
Heroin mum 😢 (her children were the politest most beautiful little things)

I was texting my friend about our manager once and my phone autocorrected cunt to cynthia, so that was her name if we talked about her to each other lol. She lived up to it to be fair

"Bald Bitch Barbie"

This has me howling

Boss: Elevenerife or Scabbers - always goes one better, picks his scabs, looks like scabbers from Harry Potter
Boss's mate: Captain Awesome, Lick Mygroin, Snow White - says awesome a lot, name rhymes
Boss's favourite: Wonderboy, Buttscratcher
One team of 5 are called the seven dwarves as a couple of them are short. They work for Snow White.
The area the young ones work in is called the Youth Club.
Our whole department is known as The Adams Family as we have a reputation for being a bit odd.
I've recently found out they call me Nanny McPhee

Our Office:

Lunchbox Rob (due to his unfeasibly full trouser package)
Edmunds (bearded guy)
Miss Marple (nosey older lady)
The Arse (manager -named because of his perfect arse, not that he is one. I don't believe.)

I work with Fly Pie Roy. Named because he ate a pie that a fly that had been on. This was in the height of summer while working at a waste management depot

My previous boss was known by the rest of the team as "3 lips" because he was a cunt and a half 🤣

Not nicknames per say, but our --very professional- work whatsapp group is primarily used for slagging off the other nobs in our department.

strikeout fail