To not want my future child lied to?

[cjferg]

Dh and I agree we won't be lying to our soon to be born child about anything. We both know how much it can fuck any relationships up and undermine trust.

Massive argument with MIL recently about santa. She thinks we are being ridiculous to not want to tell a pointless lie more often than not used to control children's behaviour. I think there is enough beauty and 'magic' in the world already without making shit up. I'd rather teach them about that.

Also our kid is going to get lied to enough by everyone/thing else in life so why would we want to add more?

And lying to avoid awkward questions is just a lazy cop out. In this day and age a kid is probably going to find out about sex and stuff like that pretty young anyway and I'd rather tell them myself if they asked than them find out some half baked version from wherever else.

Bless you OP, we all have odd ideas about bringing up children until we’re faced with the reality.

I used to judge parents who let their DC watch TV. Mine was going to do jigsaws and board games. The reality is he’s just spent the afternoon watching back-to-back Disney films.

Father Christmas/Christmas threads in February - there's still several months to go for this thread surely?!?!

Why not wait and see when you actually have a child and see how you BOTH - mum and dad - feel about it at the time.

FWIW the vast majority of people grow up perfectly normal and happy having believed in father Christmas as a child. I have yet to actually meet a person in real life who was upset by such a 'lie' - only ever heard about it on MN. For many people, it is just a story, not a reward scheme. And FC early brings everything - its normally just a stocking and/or a gift or two. Many people never even tell their child he is real or not - they just go with the flow of their own children.

Right, yes - I have a terrible relationship with my parents because they let me believe in Santa as a kid.

Wait - my mistake... We somehow have a fantastic relationship, in spite of their deceit on that matter. Guess we were the lucky ones!

That's nice OP but please tell your child not to tell any other kid that Father Christmas doesn't exist and fuck up their memories of a childhood Christmas eh?

Fun sponge.

So what's this beauty and magic you speak of that is so abundant in the world today?
Pity your kid!

Your child won't thank you for it

Did you post to ask if YABU OP? Only your post seems like you have made up your mind and want to lecture everybody else.

Each to their own OP but try not to have too many “ideals” before they are even here! I swore I would never use sweets as a bribe! How I laugh now!

Just wait until Xmas eve when you have a bouncy excited 7 year old! Or a child playing up as they are bored in the Christmas holidays - trust me when I say the Santa threat works and I for one am happy to use it as long as it works.

BTW I have 5 well balanced children - none of which have been “damaged” by Santa

WHat kind of weird pervert santa were you told about that requires knowing about where babies come from?!

Santa doesnt bring babies. Storks do. Ffs.

We've always had "Father Christmas" in this house, although my dd no longer believes and I'm pretty sure my ds is skeptical. But I completely understand why some people are reluctant to introduce Father Christmas into their families. I work with children and it's tough seeing how "Father Christmas" can afford to spend hundreds on some children but can only get a few very cheap second hand gifts for others. It makes it hard to talk about him.

I think it's becoming harder to keep it going. My daughter also commented age 7 that Father Christmas didn't seem to bother visiting some countries.

So despite the lovely magic, I think in these days of more knowledge and awareness it's a difficult concept when he's so blatantly "unfair". Children really do notice this.

Please update us in 24 months.

I'm guessing you will be measuring their age in months.

I think it's a shame you think of it as lying. I think if it as stretching the imagination. I told my toddler his imaginary cake is delicious - is that lying? I mean when you have a small child part of the delight comes from making up things and enjoying them use their imagination.

Ps. I have never met a grown adult with trust issues because their parents told them Santa was real!

Please make sure your kid doesn’t go into school and ruin it for everyone else.

Also OP I am quite interested to find out why you have linked Santa to questions about sex???

We don’t do Father Christmas, Easter bunny, tooth fairy or anything like that. We have plenty of fun and my children aren’t damaged. Nor have they spoilt it for others. They know to keep it secret.

But this thread will go down like a cup of cold sick.

You're right OP. My parents lying to me about santa really undermined any trust I had in them and the betrayal stayed with me well into adulthood.

For fuck sake, if this isn't the kind of tripe spouted by the kind of people who are more interested in the principle of the thing rather than the reality, I don't know what is!

Ha ha ha ha - first child is it. Brilliant. Good lunch with that!

Lol I was a fucking fantastic parent before I had kids too, OP

“I’m never going to lie to my future children about anything”

I'm with your MIL. You are ridiculous.

No Op your artwork isn't good it is shite.
No you will never be a doctor because you are too thick.
No you should not try a musical instrument because you are tone deaf.
No you don't look pretty, your nose is too big for that

Oh god, your DC are going to be those kids in shopping centres loudly telling everybody that the santa in the grotto is just a man in a beard. Buzzkill!

What happened to investing in our kids' imaginations?

Let me get this right...You picked a fight with your MIL about whether or not you'll tell your as-yet-unborn child about Santa?
Right-o, do crack on by all means. Want a medal? Here you go:🎖

Booooo you, OP!

You are bonkers. Hope that clarifies things.

🎅 🎅 🎅 🎄

You will be so unpopular at primary school. A family who were raised like this told all their classmates santa was a myth, cue, tears, the parents were called in and told to tell their children to zip it.

Parenting hypothetical children is so very very different from parenting real ones. It's good to have a rough idea of your parenting views but I wouldn't set too much in stone...you may feel differently when they are here. There is a difference between bad damaging lies and fun filled traditions.