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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my future child lied to?

434 replies

cjferg · 14/02/2018 18:46

Dh and I agree we won't be lying to our soon to be born child about anything. We both know how much it can fuck any relationships up and undermine trust.

Massive argument with MIL recently about santa. She thinks we are being ridiculous to not want to tell a pointless lie more often than not used to control children's behaviour. I think there is enough beauty and 'magic' in the world already without making shit up. I'd rather teach them about that.

Also our kid is going to get lied to enough by everyone/thing else in life so why would we want to add more?

And lying to avoid awkward questions is just a lazy cop out. In this day and age a kid is probably going to find out about sex and stuff like that pretty young anyway and I'd rather tell them myself if they asked than them find out some half baked version from wherever else.

OP posts:
alotalotalot · 15/02/2018 17:37

Counting sheep - I never lied for an easy life. They need to learn no or that they need to something. Short term pain for long term gain.

Perhaps the truth may have been diluted a bit or stretched a bit, or even avoided but no out and out lies.

Countingsheeeep · 15/02/2018 19:14

@alotalotalot...of course I am talking about diluted truths and little white lies here...don't make it out to be something it isn't 🙄

bobbinogs · 15/02/2018 19:25

White lies and avoiding unnecessarily brutal truths and being age appropriate is the way forward. My kids loved stories and myths and beliefs and magic and were more than capable of understanding there are shades of meaning and truth in things. We did santa in quite a lightweight way but when my son age 4 asked me outright does he exist I said what do you think, he said no it's not logical and I said fair enough you're right but it's a cool story and he was happy with that. it's possible to have fun and take part in cultural traditions without outright lying......

SirGawain · 16/02/2018 22:32

Let's burn all the books except the non-fiction! They're all full of lies!

GreenTulips · 16/02/2018 22:36

Actually some fact books are out of date due to advances in technology and understanding - burn those Ines as well

PiffIeandWiffle · 16/02/2018 22:58

Well OP, I'm afraid that, as you don't actually have any children, you have nothing to say of any value on the subject.

Come back in a few years when you've got kids, know what you're talking about & have taken your head out of your arse.....

greenharp · 16/02/2018 23:11

Believe me OP your trust issues don't stem from being told about Santa and the tooth fairy. Nothing compares to the magic of folk stories as a child and you are going to deny your child that magic. Before your child reads Harry Potter are you going to convince him that it's all fake? Such a joy and fun sucker zzzzzzzzz

Ikanon · 16/02/2018 23:12

We were all amazing parents...in our heads before we had kids.

You go for it, see where it gets you.

I don't lie for an easy life. I rarely tell calculated lies to my children but 'mummy will be back in 2 minutes' is a lie. I'll check on the monitor to see if she's pissing about and decide when to go in, depending on if it will gee her up or soothe her.

Neither kids nor parents like the 'know it all kid' who denies Santa exists. Just a thought.

bridgetoc · 17/02/2018 00:01

Chill pill needed for OP.........

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